In a Bed of Flowers
by LiveToLie
Summary: Things are finally heading in the right direction, but when Zack Fair shows up in Edge, his mere presence threatens to unhinge Cloud's already unstable mind. No one is sure if he can handle having the reality of his alter ego around, yet they can't just throw the confused SOLDIER out into the streets either. He has to stay and, hopefully, Cloud's sanity with him. CxZ Clack
1. Chapter 1: Through Time

"Are you ready?" she asked, her soft features staring at him reassuringly.

"You're sure I won't remember being here?" he asked, almost saddened at the thought. She was his best friend, someone who had comforted him when he'd cried and worried for him when he'd gone missing. It was almost a cheat, the fact that he had to give up one for the other.

"I'm sure," she replied, aware of his sadness and granting him a smile, as if to relieve his concerns. "Don't worry, I'll be here waiting, watching. He needs you more than I do, and the planet, though not of the consciousness of humans, recognizes dues."

"I'll be some sort of payment then?" he asked, a bitter, mocking smile flashing across his features. Before him, her eyes dropped, her expression becoming thoughtful.

"Not a payment," she started, "but a wrong righted." Face becoming serious, he crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side curiously. "The planet is aware of everything that happens on it, around it, and inside it. It does not judge, but it knows. And it knew, at the time when you came here, what that would do to him.

"And it knew that if pushed to his limits, he was the only one that could help."

"So my death was some sort of plot by the planet to get him to do what it wanted? That hardly seems fair…"

"You attribute human emotions where there are none," she smiled again. "The planet did what was necessary, that is all. It understands pain, and knew that the injury it inflicted on him by taking you was akin to its own life-threatening ailment. That's why it kept you whole, asleep, until I woke you. So that, when the time was right, it could return you to him."

"Why I didn't become part of the lifestream…"

"Yes…"

A pause.

"What about you?" he asked. "You haven't become one with the lifestream either. What will you do? Just watch, as you said?" He shook his head. "That hardly seems entertaining."

"It's more exciting than you know," she giggled lightly. "Besides, I'm Centra, I have knowledge that you do not and the planet has many plans for me yet, even if neither of us are aware of them. I have many souls to heal, and many lives to save after everything that's happened."

"So, in other words, you'll be kept busy?" he cocked a single eyebrow.

"Exactly," she affirmed. "And my latest course of action is to return you to where you belong." She clasped her hands knowingly behind her back. "Or perhaps with _whom_ you belong."

"Well I hope you're right," he sighed. "It's been a long time…"

"Time…" she started as she took a step toward him, "is not a relevant variable where true love is involved." She placed her hand on his chest, her touch warm.

"That's a little deep, don't you think?"

With only the slightest amount of force, she pushed him, sending him flying backwards and down, down, down. Without wings, without a helping hand, he was plummeting.

"No…" she murmured to herself, alone once more. "When Cloud is involved, nothing is too deep."

She smiled.

**In a Bed of Flowers**

**A/N: **I don't own Final Fantasy VII or anything affiliated with it.

Chapter 1: Through Time

It was as if someone had pressed the rewind button on his life.

One moment, the sky had been ablaze with white, the silhouette of those blonde spikes slowly fading as a weightless touch reached down and began to pull him effortlessly from the blood-soaked dirt.

He'd had wings; he'd been flying. Yet within moments, just as he'd thought he'd touch the clouds, he'd felt suffocated, his vision flashing only once before his wings were painlessly cut loose and he was striking back down.

The feeling of his body on solid ground knocked the air into him and he bolted upright, gasping as if drowning.

Blinking, he willed the splotches of color dotting his vision to fade, his shaking, trembling body set in turmoil as the pain and agony that had haunted it seemingly moments before was abruptly taken away – whiplash. Reaching up, he grasped desperately at his chest, at his uniform. At the places where he should have been bleeding, where he should have been dying.

Yet… there was nothing but fabric.

Twitching his chin, he glanced down at his chest, pulling the cloth of his uniform out for examination. There was nothing to see however. No holes, no rips, no blood. Nothing.

He didn't understand.

He could have sworn he'd been… gone…

Gulping, he snapped back, quickly glancing around. His instincts prepared him for an assault, convinced him that as soon as the infantryman noticed he wasn't out for the count, they'd be hammering bullets into him once again. The pain - he was tense with anticipation for it.

Yet as he turned his head swiftly from side to side, he was left gaping. Silence, that was what greeted him. An empty cliff - barren of all but himself. There were no bodies of the men he'd slain, no blood, no discarded blades and guns. No helicopters, nothing.

Clean.

He considered for a moment that perhaps he _was_ dead, that this was heaven, but an itch at the back of his mind convinced him this was false. He was alive, of that he was certain. There was no evidence he could gather that proved as much, but he knew it all the same.

Taking a deep breath, he calmed his beating, anxious heart, closing his eyes for only a moment to gather his wits before pushing himself swiftly to his feet. His SOLDIER reflexes bore him well, his body refreshed and ready for action as he swung his arms quickly from side to side, as if shaking away sleep.

And as he did, his eyes caught the sight beneath his feet.

Flowers. Yellow and white in a patch all around him.

Like the ones Aerith had grown in the church.

_Aerith_.

She'd reprimanded him once for stepping on the flowers and, out of pure discomfort, he quickly hopped away from them, staring at them with furrowed brows for only the small amount of time his limited attention span would allow before surveying the cliff again. Despite the changes, he knew this to be the same place. There was no mistaking it. Yet, had he not known better, he could have been convinced that no battle had taken place at all.

So strange…

Eyebrows furrowed, he turned until he was facing the edge of the cliff, his stare dragging up the barren waste of a land sucked dry of mako until he encountered the distant movements of a city. At first, Midgar came to mind as, last he'd known, that had been the metropolis beyond this point. But just as quickly as he came to this assumption, he was dropped into confusion.

Gaping, he took a step closer to the edge of the cliff, as if he could somehow get a better look.

That city wasn't Midgar. No, it was far less developed, and open to the sky. However, behind it, he could make out the ruins of a huge capital, the burned, broken, dismembered remains of a place he'd once called home.

He didn't understand…

No dead infantrymen; no blood; Midgar destroyed…

None of it made sense…

Stare focusing again on the ground at his feet, he contemplated all he'd just discovered over and over, yet he could come to no logical conclusions. There was a reason he was a SOLDIER, why he took orders. He wasn't a Turk; he was no good at investigating or puzzling things through.

Best to just… be direct.

Reaching up to grab at the handle of the buster sword, just to comfort himself, his eyes widened when all he met was air. It was then that he finally noticed that the telltale weight of the weapon didn't hang from his back and, somewhat flustered, he swiftly turned, glancing from one side of the cliff to the other. And when he didn't find it there, he stared further beyond and up, searching everywhere until finally his eyes met the clouds.

_Cloud_…

"Cloud!" he yelled the name, his voice somewhat scratchy, as if he hadn't used it recently. Clearing his throat, he yelled the name again, stronger this time, but got no response.

He imaged the blonde's face, blood streaked and broken as he stared down through the rain at his dying friend. His eyes, their once pure blue, had glowed with mako, his hands clutching tightly at the hilt of the buster sword.

He'd screamed – that pretty face.

Lips pursing, he turned back towards the foreign city. He could almost imagine Cloud now, dragging that heavy sword beside his small body, hunkering towards the city. Cloud, who'd always been a little bit of a runt; too much of one to really have joined the military. But time and again he'd proven his worth and determination, putting himself in danger for the sake of the mission, his comrades and friends. A true heart.

But a runt of a kid.

Concern dropping across his features, he suddenly knew what his next objective was. Find Cloud and make sure he was alright. After everything that had happened, the experimentation, the mako poisoning, the chase… he had to make sure that little soldier had made it through. Was safe. He felt responsible for the kid, always had. His overprotective nature had bothered the blonde at times, but he couldn't help it. He just… loved that kid so much…

Find Cloud…

"C'mon Zack," he muttered to himself as he stared at the strange town, determined. "We've got our next mission."

Glancing around only quickly, he saw a path that looked like it might lead down the face of the cliff side and, pumped with resolve, he started towards it. If he wanted to find Cloud, then the first place he needed to look was the closest town, no matter how strange it appeared to him. Local hospitals, inns, those were where he'd head first.

To find Cloud.

_Cloud_…

**oOo**

So far, things weren't going that well.

Somewhat sulkily, Zack sat on a bench at the edge of… Edge, or so he'd learned the town was called. For nearly five hours, after he'd made the long trek from the cliff to the town, he'd searched, and asked, and searched some more, and come up with not so much as a single lead. Not that any of the townspeople had been much help.

The city was a bustling, busy place and no one had really given him the time of day. And when someone had, they'd cast him the oddest looks when he'd asked what had happened to Midgar, one even going so far as to spit on him as if he'd been disrespectful. So he'd stopped asking about that. Instead, he'd tried to find as many hospitals and inns as he could, which had landed him with only three that he'd come across in his wanderings.

One of the inns hadn't had any guests, so he'd ruled that one out. The other, when he'd asked if a Cloud Strife had been staying there, had kind of chuckled and said no, which had thoroughly confused him. But the strangest thing had happened at the hospital. When he'd asked if there was a patient by the name Cloud Strife, the nurse behind the counter had seemed surprised before looking into it. Coming back empty handed, she'd cocked her head to the side and asked, "Why? Has something happened to him?"

Zack, feeling helpless and lost, had shaken his head in defeat at his weird situation before dragging his body out of the hospital. From there, he'd just walked until he'd found his current bench. He could tell he was at the edge of the city because behind him, a few run-down homes scattered about, were the ruins of Midgar.

What was he supposed to do?

To be honest, the place he currently found himself in didn't seem at all like the world he'd come from. There were no soldiers stalking about, no frightened people, nothing like what he was used to. He hadn't even run into any monsters out in the wasteland, which was incredible as far as he was concerned. Everyone had seemed preoccupied with their own dealings, not even caring that he was wearing the SOLDIER uniform. As if it didn't matter…

He couldn't find Cloud, he had no weapon, and even if he did, mercenary work obviously wasn't in high demand. After what had happened on the cliff, after he and Cloud had been… abducted, he'd come to realize what Shinra really was. A controlling menace to society that brought nothing but war and despair, and hurt the planet. But this place was just so… peaceful, as if Shinra had never been.

So what was a 1st class SOLDIER to do with himself? All he knew how to do was fight… and kill… and hurt…

"This way, this way!" glancing up, he watched as a small group of people some few meters from his position headed towards the ruins of Midgar. "I know some of you are tired, but we're almost there. The Ancient Church is just beyond these ruins!" Eyes narrowed, Zack abruptly realized that the group before him was a tour group. Heading into the ruins of Midgar? Towards the Ancient Church?

_Aerith_…

Lips pursed, he quickly rose to his feet and jogged up behind the group, the people obviously gawking. And that woman that had spit on him had thought _he'd_ been disrespectful. Still, perhaps he could learn something by tagging along; get a better grasp on what had happened here.

"We're now entering what was known as the Sector 5 slums. Please stay on the cleared path and watch your step. The ruins can be dangerous so don't stray." The tour guide was a gangly, skinny man with a rather arrogant air about him. But Zack kept his thoughts to himself, glancing around just as curiously as the people with him.

"Why doesn't anyone clean this place up?" one particularly overweight woman asked, and, compared to the people living in Edge, it became rather obvious to Zack that these people didn't live anywhere close to Midgar. They were all so much more colorful, and… snotty than those he'd already encountered. Wealthy tourists, those wanting to see the skeleton of a place that had once been considered a great metropolis.

Zack frowned.

"Because," the tour guide started, "when this place was destroyed, it was the planet that fought back and it is now considered a rather sacred point by some," it was apparent the guide didn't agree. "It had been argued that, much like the crater to the north, this place will eventually become a center for the lifestream as it heals the wound caused by meteor." Now Zack was _extremely_ confused. "The heroes of the war have deemed that only the path to the church be trespassed on, that the rest of the city is off-limits because of the high amounts of mako. It is unsafe, or so they've claimed."

"If there's so much mako," on single man piped in somewhat temperamentally, "and it's so dangerous, then why not get the reactor up and running and drain some of it off? I mean, I want to see this so called magical church, but the rest of this place is a complete eyesore."

"Mako energy has been outlawed," the guide replied simply, Zack's eyebrows twitching in surprise. "You all know that."

"I don't see why," the man continued. "I mean, it was a lot more convenient when-"

"Because sucking up mako energy kills the planet," another voice chirped in, though Zack couldn't locate from where. "Do you want a repeat of what happened? We need to respect the planet and everything it gives us. It's because of the planet that the Geostigma was cured. We have no right to the planet's blood after all it does for us."

"I don't believe all that mumbo-jumbo," the man scoffed. "It's a planet, not a-"

"And here we are!" the tour guide bellowed loudly, interrupting the argument and silencing the tourists. "Just around this turn." And as they rounded the bend, Zack, thankful that he was taller than most everyone there, was left in sheer awe by what he saw, as was everyone with him.

He knew that church, recognized it right away. But the last time he'd been there, it'd been rundown, neglected, and a single young woman had been the only one to see any significance in it. But now… now it was a sight to behold.

It sat in a pool of shimmering, clear water, water that fell from the windows and cascaded down the sides like a fountain. Around it, the ground was green and littered with yellow and white flowers, and growing up the old walls of the building were vines. It was the most vegetation, centered in one place, in the entire dead wasteland of Midgar.

"See, this is proof," the previous voice that Zack hadn't spotted piped up again. "This is the power of the planet. This water is what cures the Geostigma. It comes up from the ground, from the planet, and heals." He finally located her. She was a younger woman, he eyes alight with wonder as she stared at the church.

"I heard," a younger voice, a teenager, "that this is the power of that Ancient girl, the one that died during the war…"

"Yes," the tour guide nodded. "That is what is rumored. In one of the few interviews with Miss Lockhart that she ever allowed, she explains that this place was once the preferred spot by the last Ancient and that she believes it's because of her influence that it was chosen by the planet to serve as a healing center for those afflicted with Geostigma." Zack furrowed his eyebrows, both confusion and concern dropping across his expression.

How long had he been on that cliff? And… were they talking about…

"Well, do we get to go inside?" It was that same annoying man from before.

"No," the tour guide replied simply. "It's been forbidden that anyone enter. The healing properties of the water are fully accessible from the outside. Inside is a sanctuary and memorial to those that were lost during the war, or so I've heard, and it is to remain undisturbed."

"And who decided that?" the man asked temperamentally. "Those so called heroes? You know, they have an awful lot of influence and if you ask me, things were better before they got involved. If they hadn't started stirring things up, then Shinra-"

"Then meteor would have destroyed the planet and we'd all be dead!" the young woman from before countered.

"Life for everyone has become completely impossible without mako energy," the man replied stubbornly. "I for one think that-"

"Plenty of people seem to be living just fine without it."

"Well I'm not."

"Well it sounds to me like you're just a stuck up, no good…"

Zack, his own worries and confusion crowding in, drowned out the argument, his eyes focused on the church. What had happened? _When_ had this happened? There'd been another war? And meteor? What was that? He was just so… lost…

How much had he missed…?

SOLDIER instincts kicking in, his mako infused senses caught a flash out of the corner of his eye, movement among the rubble. To anyone else, it was probably impossible to notice, but he'd seen the barely there flash of movement, of someone, or something, creeping towards the back of the church.

The argument had now escalated, the two individuals shouting at each other as the tour guide attempted to break them up. Thankful for the distraction, Zack glanced around only quickly to make sure no one was watching him before he stepped to the side and behind a protruding stack of rubble. Careful and graceful, he silently treaded through and around the ruined pieces of the city. And he was surprised, after a few moments of picking his way through, to notice that, hidden and thin, was another path that zigzagged through the ruin. A secret trail that wove its way to the back of the church.

Picking up his pace, he was practically jogging as he followed it around, careful not to catch himself on the close confines. Within moments, he'd found himself standing at the back of the building, a simple, wooden planked bridge laying over the water and leading up to the back door, which was closing even as he watched it.

Creeping up, he was careful not to rock the unstable bridge as he approached the back of the building. Coming up on the door, he hesitated for only a moment before taking a deep breath and pulling on the rusted, loose fitting handle. Without a sound, the rotting door came open and Zack, glancing only once over his shoulder, slid inside.

Once, the church had been full of light, the sun shining in through the holes and windows littering the downtrodden building. But now, with the shimmering water cascading down the sides, everything was muted. Not dark, but shadowed. Still however, with his memory serving him, he was easily able to make his way through the back room, which hadn't changed a bit since he'd last been there. Which, when considering how long he'd been in the Shinra mansion, was a quite a while.

And based on what he'd been hearing, it could be longer still.

Finding the doorway that lead into the main room, he quietly snuck through, his eyes hungrily taking everything in.

Here, the layout had changed. Something had happened, something that'd taken out a good section of benches and some of the pillars. But it'd happened some time ago because there was a good layer of dust and vines growing across the wrecked bits. And at the middle, nearer the front, where the sun shined through the whole in the roof, was the plat of flowers. The same that had broken Zack's fall and that were now fuller and brighter than he remembered.

Near the back of this display, shining in the sunlight and thrust up behind a section of ruined pillar, was the buster sword.

Gaping somewhat, Zack walked out from inside the doorway, staring at the sword. It was apparent to him, despite how it glowed in the sunlight, that it had suffered some wear and tear, and rust, but had been taken care of and repaired to the best it could be. Like it's users, it bore scars, and hardship, and heartbreak. Yet it stood proudly, solemn, and Zack was aware that to take it from the position before him would be to sully the memory it stood for, some of which he knew and some that was a mystery.

Instead, he stared, unsure what to think.

"No one is allowed in here." Turning quickly, Zack was surprised by the youthful voice. Behind him, he spotted her. A child. He was starting up at him with suspicious, unafraid brown eyes, her somewhat tattered clothes hinting not at poverty, but the youthful destruction children brought everywhere they went.

Her brown hair was tied back in a long, twisted braid, held up by a pink ribbon.

"So I heard," he replied, folding his arms over his chest. "So what are you doing in here then?" He cocked a curious eyebrow, one of his award-winning smiles gracing his lips. Its generally infectious nature didn't seem to have much of an effect on her however, her mouth falling into a frown.

"I'm allowed," she replied simply. "But you're not." Zack, crouching down so he was at her level, cast her a questioning eye.

"And why's that?" he asked seriously. "What makes you so special?"

"I used to know the lady that was here," she replied easily. "She was very special to me…" Zack, his eyes falling to the floor only momentarily, considered his words carefully before catching those big brown eyes once again.

"Would you believe me if I told you she was special to me too?" he asked quietly, wondering to himself if they were talking about the same woman, and hoping that perhaps they weren't, that he was mistaken.

"Aerith?" the little girl asked, her guard dropping slightly. "You knew her?" Zack's heart dropped. So it was the same, this Ancient, this woman that was apparently… gone. Even if her memory was celebrated. Yet as he considered it, he felt somehow as if he'd already known, somehow, and though he was sad, he felt that perhaps it wasn't a horrible thing. Almost as if he'd come to terms with it already. The feeling was strange, but true. She'd been a good friend, and in that place, with that girl, it was almost as though she was there, with them, and he took comfort in that.

"I knew her," Zack verified. "She was a very good friend of mine. A very important friend." He paused, taking in the child's now curious look. "Tell me," he continued slowly, "what happened to her?"

His question drew a rather abrupt reaction from her.

"Don't you know?" she asked rather rudely, Zack reminded of all the odd reactions he'd gotten from the townspeople earlier. "Everyone knows the story now, since Tifa finally explained what happened in her interview." Tifa, he recognized that name.

"Well, to be honest," falling back on his rear, Zach folded his legs, never taking his eyes from the little girl before him, "I think I… I think I've been asleep for awhile." She cocked her head to the side. "Everything is different than I remember. I've been trying to figure out what happened but… no one will tell me." He smiled again, hoping he wasn't scaring her. Usually he was a rather inviting person. "Maybe you can," he started. "What's your name?"

"Marlene," she replied easily, seeming more shy now than anything as she continued to stare at him, some six or seven feet between the two.

"Well Marlene, what happened to Midgar? And what's this about a war? And the planet?" he asked, his elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward. "Last time I was here, Shinra was in charge, and mako energy was still being used."

"Wow, you have been asleep a long time," she replied, her eyes stretching even bigger. "Mako energy is against the law now, no one uses it."

"That's what I heard," he replied with a slight laugh. "Something about it killing the planet?"

"That's right," she replied. "Shinra was sucking mako out of the planet, killing it. And so my dad got a group together and they started fighting Shinra. But there was another man too, and he hated Shinra, but he… he also hated everything." Zack furrowed his eyebrows, frowning. "He wanted to hurt the planet really bad and take all the energy for himself, so he called meteor.

"That's what destroyed Midgar," she replied, her voice quieter. "He would have destroyed the whole world, but my dad and his friends, they all stopped him, and then the planet stopped meteor. It used the lifestream as a weapon." To Zack, it all sounded fantastical, what she was saying.

"The man," he asked, mostly out of curiosity. "Do you know what his name was?" She seemed to hesitate then, as if perhaps she wasn't allowed to speak of it.

"I… I've heard them talking about him, mostly because just a little while ago, he… he came back and tried to take the planet again," Zack's eyes widened in surprise. "His name, I think they said, was… Sephiroth."

"Sephiroth…" Zack repeated quietly, stunned to realize who had done such things, but not surprised. After all, he'd seen what Sephiroth had done in Nibelheim. That his hatred and corruption would stretch to the entire world, well, Genesis had felt the same way, but hadn't had the power. Sephiroth however… he was another variable all together.

"It was… really scary…" Marlene admitted quietly.

"Well, your dad and his friends must be pretty powerful if they could take on Sephiroth," Zack replied. "I used to know him, and let me tell you, even for a 1st class SOLDIER, he wasn't exactly run of the mill." A bit of an understatement, but he doubted this little girl would understand the complexities of Sephiroth's existence. Zack wasn't even sure he did.

"You're wearing a SOLDIER uniform," she stated, gesturing towards him and taking a hesitant step closer. "Were you in SOLDIER?" He smiled at her question, though the past tense did make him slightly uneasy. Mako was outlawed, which meant Shinra was probably gone. His way of life was finished.

"I was," he confirmed with another award winning smile. "1st class."

"I know a 1st class SOLDIER," she replied, finally grinning herself.

"Really?" Zack asked in surprise. Last he'd known, he was the last of the 1st class SOLDIER's left, so unless Shinra had promoted more after… well after whatever had happened to him. "Who? I bet I know him."

"His name is Cloud," she replied easily. "Cloud Strife."

Zack's eyes bugged. He'd spent five hours trying to find something, anything, on Cloud, and here he'd ended up with this little girl, who claimed to know him. That was, if they were referring to the same person. He couldn't imagine it, Cloud being a 1st class SOLDIER. He'd never really had the build for it, despite his dreams of being one. Despite this however, Zack couldn't fathom, after everything that had happened with Shinra, that Cloud could have gone back.

"Do you know him?" Marlene asked, interrupting Zack's thoughts. He nodded, slowly, his mouth hanging open as he considered the idea. "He's really strong," she continued, speaking of Cloud with pride running through her voice. "Tifa says that without him, they'd never have been able to win. And when Sephiroth came back again, it was Cloud that stopped him. And, from what I've heard my dad and the others saying, he was the one that stopped him before."

"Cloud?" Zack questioned. "Cloud Strife?" Marlene nodded earnestly. "Not exactly the tallest guy in the world, kind of quiet, spikey blonde hair?"

"That's him," Marlene verified. "He's a hero." Zack just couldn't wrap his head around the idea. His Cloud, the little runt of a kid, saving the world. Twice. Beating Sephiroth, something not even Angeal had been able to do. It was just unfathomable to him; he couldn't even begin to imagine. "How did you know him?" Marlene jolted him back once again.

"Uh, well," Zack cleared his throat. "Back when I was in SOLDIER, we worked together. He was… just an infantryman back then, but, uh, we were… rather good friends." Which was one way to put it.

"Really?!" Marlene asked, taking another few bold steps closer to him. "What's your name?"

"Zack…" he replied. "Zack Fair." She furrowed her eyebrows then, befuddled curiosity dropping across her young face. "Never heard of me?" He asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. Hopeful, that was, that he actually _had_ been mentioned.

"No," she replied. "But… I never hear Cloud talk about his past, or anyone he knew. He doesn't talk about much of anything actually," she sighed. "Most of everything that I know about him I've heard from Tifa and my dad, and their friends."

"Do you see him very much?" Zack asked, excitement suddenly surging through him. By the sound of it, this girl was with Cloud on a familiar basis, which meant that, maybe, she could help him find the blonde.

"Of course!" she replied, her smile widening. "My dad is head of Wallace Oil, so he's gone a lot drilling for oil fields," Zack had no idea what that meant. "And when he's gone, I stay with Tifa, Denzel, and Cloud." Yes, she certainly was close, so close to Cloud in fact that Zack didn't dare let her out of his sight. Not now.

"Really?" he asked, his eyebrows rising expectantly.

"Yeah. Tifa has the bar, 7th Heaven, and Cloud has his delivery business," she was turning out to be quite the chatterbox. Not that Zack was complaining. He was quite the talker himself. "He used to work all by himself, but since Shinra isn't working anymore, a lot of people need new ways to get their stuff around." Shinra had previously owned all the package delivery services. "So he hired in these other people and they deliver stuff now too. There's Rude, and Reno, and Elena, and Tseng, but he stays and organizes the deliveries. But Cloud is in charge. And-"

"The Turks?!" Zack really was wide-eyed and gaping now. "The Turks work for Cloud?"

"The Turks?" she questioned and shook her head. "No, they used to work for Shinra," she explained, not knowing what the Turks were, or at least not recognizing the name. "But they stopped because their boss said that Shinra wasn't ever going to be a company again, and now Rufus works with my dad trying to make the planet better."

"Rufus… Rufus Shinra is…" Zack was shaking his head. "This is all just too surreal…" Honestly, it was too much to take in. He didn't even know what to think, or whether or not to believe any of it was true. It was all just… so impossible. "Marlene, can you…" he took a deep breath. "Can you tell me what year it is?"

"Sure," she replied happily. "It's 0012. And it's March!" She clasped her hands behind her back, apparently pleased that she could answer his question so well. Zack, on the other hand, couldn't claim the same. Rather, his smile had slowly fallen away, his shoulders dropping at her words.

0012. March. Just over five years. Five years since the last thing he remembered, since that day out on the cliff. He'd lost five years of his life. Four years he'd lost, trapped in the Shinra mansion, spent another year running, and now he'd lost five more to unknown causes.

Cloud was twenty-five, almost twenty-six.

The last time he'd had a real conversation with the boy, prior to the mako poisoning, he's been sixteen. Nearly ten years since he'd had any kind of real communication with Cloud. Aside from his farewell words, when he'd thought he was a goner. When he'd sent Cloud off with the buster sword now standing as a monument behind him.

Cloud, a hero.

His Cloud, with his curious blue eyes, which had been tarnished my mako. And his pale cheeks that were always blushing red whenever Zack had looked at him too long, or in a… certain way.

His beautifully feminine features, not just a sign of his youth, but of a magnificence Zack had never really been able to define.

_His_ Cloud…

Did he even exist anymore? Was this man that Marlene was telling him about, could they possible be the same person? It didn't seem conceivable…

Cloud was twenty-five, yet Zack still felt a young, immature twenty-three. A number that he'd never really aged to, because he'd spent a prior four years locked away. In some respects, he still, unconsciously, thought of himself as younger.

Ten years…

"Do you want to see Cloud?" Marlene asked, her innocent question causing Zack to look up, his heart beating fast at the thought. "I can take you home with me, if you want to see him." This little girl was going to take him right to Cloud? She'd lead the way? "C'mon!" she closed the distance between them excitedly. "Let's go see Cloud together!" Reaching out, she grabbed his hand.

Zack blinked at her, taking a moment to find a response. "O-okay," he finally agreed, not sure what else he could say, or do for that matter. In the five years that he'd been "gone," the world had been turned upside-down. He had no money, no job, nothing. He didn't even know if his parents…

Standing, he gripped Marlene's hand as she did his, thankful for her reassuring smile as she began to drag him around to the back door again.

"You're really tall," she said, glancing at him over her shoulder as they headed out the back door. The sunlight was bright as they exited, Marlene taking him back down the winding path and towards Edge.

"Yup," he replied easily, attempting to hide his nerves. "Six foot three. Though compared to the other 1st class SOLDIER's, I was far from the tallest." He laughed lightly, keeping up easily with the jogging Marlene as they made their way out of the Midgar ruins and back into Edge. By the looks of it, she certainly knew her way around.

"Cloud must have been pretty shor-"

"Marlene!" Stopping dead, the little girl focused her attention on the calling of her name, Zack nearly stumbling over her as she did. "Marlene!" Soon, they were both able to locate the source of the call. A young boy with shaggy brown hair was running towards them, his bright blue eyes apparent even at their distance.

Mako eyes.

"Where did you…" He slowed as he approached them, finally seeming to notice that the tall man standing beside his friend was actually _with_ her, their hands clasped together. He glanced between the two, stopping with a few feet between. "Who's this?" Zack noticed a bit of shyness to him as well as discomfort.

"This is Zack!" Marlene replied with a smile. "He's a friend of Cloud's." She glanced up at Zack. "This is Denzel. He lives with me, Tifa, and Cloud." Zack raised his eyebrows, somewhat surprised. For some reason, he'd assumed that Denzel was an adult when he'd been mentioned previously.

"You know my dad?" Denzel asked quietly, his bright eyes searching over Zack curiously. His question, however, left Zack in a slight state of shock.

"You-your _dad_?" Zack scoffed out the words, suddenly finding himself comparing Denzel's features to Clouds. The eyes, the soft features… was it really possible? No, it couldn't be. He'd only been "gone" for five years. This child was clearly older than five… wasn't he?

"Yes," Denzel replied somewhat shortly, his arms crossing over his chest defensively. "I've never met you before."

"That's because he's been asleep, right Zack?" Marlene was still smiling up at him. "For a long time?"

"Uh, yeah…" Zack replied, still baffled over the fact that… that Cloud was a dad. His Cloud… no… his Cloud wasn't… "For about five years I figure…" They couldn't possibly be the same person.

"Wow!" Marlene was gaping, Denzel's eyes widening slightly. "Five years?! That really is a long time!" She didn't have to tell him twice. "C'mon," she started to pull on him again. "Let's get home. I'm sure Cloud will be happy to see you." She started jogging again, Denzel running up until he was in step with her. Zack followed dutifully behind.

"Where did you go?" Denzel asked Marlene, quite obviously pretending Zack wasn't even there. "You know Tifa says we're not allowed to just wander off on our own. The city is dangerous." Tifa, Zack remembered her. Cloud's childhood friend. He'd met her once. Quickly, he tried to pull her image back to his mind's eyes. Could she be Denzel's…?

No, he had to remind himself that the math didn't add up.

"I was just going to the Church," she replied, as if her destination somehow made it okay. "I wanted to talk to Aerith." She frowned as she jogged, Zack silently listening in on their conversation without comment.

"You can't talk to her," Denzel replied. "She's dead Marlene." It sounded like this particular conversation had happened between the two many times before, if Denzel's somewhat exasperated tone said anything. Zack couldn't help flinching at the child's blunt reference however, his heart dropping slightly.

"Just because _you_ can't, doesn't mean _I_ can't," she replied simply. Denzel didn't have a response for that however, instead just staring at his roommate as they whisked their way through the streets of edge. No one took a second look at them, the man dressed in dated clothing and the two children with him. Now that fear wasn't the factor driving people, they had the time to consider themselves for once.

"There's our house!" Marlene exclaimed loudly, her free hand gesturing towards a double storied building across the next street. The words "7th Heaven" were plastered across the front in a tasteful font, hinting that though the place was a bar, it was classy and that no nonsense would be tolerated. Beside that, the words "Strife Delivery Service" were also printed, though smaller.

Their house was located near the edge of the city and was small, modest, as far as homes and businesses went. And as they crossed the street, Zack felt his nerves start to buzz, the thought of seeing Cloud again, under the current circumstances, making him beyond anxious. He didn't even know how he'd react, or what he'd say. It'd been five years, five years that he hadn't been living, that he'd missed.

How would Cloud even respond to him? Where had his blonde friend thought he'd been all these years?

Yet even as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer. Cloud had thought he was… dead. Cloud thought he was _dead_.

Suddenly, he felt as though he shouldn't be going inside that house, not without a proper warning. Yet before he could voice his concern, before he could bail, Marlene was dragging him through the front door. It was too late.

They'd walked in on the bar, tables and chairs set up around them. The place was empty however, no one even behind the counter. Above their heads, a single fan circled slowly, but it was rather apparent that, at the current moment, 7th Heaven wasn't open for business.

Dropping Zack's hand, Marlene headed knowingly to the right where a door was cracked open. Denzel followed, Zack glancing around nervously as he inched after. But before either of the children entered, they paused, all the ears in the room perking at the sound of voices.

"Let Reno take this delivery," her tone was exasperated, annoyed, but patient. "He'll be back any minute now. You only got home this morning." Zack recognized her voice, a girl in a short skirt, cowboy boots, and a matching hat flitting through his mind's eye.

"It's an urgent delivery," was the response and Zack felt his heart bolt to his throat. He knew that voice, would know it anywhere, and his breathing started to shake as he crept up behind the eavesdropping children to listen as well. "It's only to Kalm. I should be back sometime tomorrow afternoon."

"Cloud," Tifa sighed. "You hired more people for a reason. Yet you don't seem to be home anymore than you were before. Let Reno take this one so you can be home for a few days."

"I hired more people because the workload was picking up," Cloud replied, his soft, even, velvety voice thrumming in Zack's ears. "That doesn't mean I get to take more time off. I probably need to hire on a few more employees. We're the only delivery service right now that has the capabilities to travel from one continent to another."

"Those are just excuses for-"

"For what Tifa?" Cloud interrupted, his tone slightly sharper. "I have to work, just like you do. We both have a family to support. I'm sorry my job isn't a nine to five workday and that I have to be away, but I'm not as good at numbers as Tseng, so I have to do what I know, and that means I have to be over the road.

"The majority of the world is poverty stricken, which means we can't charge very much for our services. I have to work to make ends meet."

"You also have a responsibility to Denzel," Tifa rebuked, Zack watching as Denzel's eyes dropped to the floor. "And to Marlene as well for that matter, and-"

"I'm aware," Cloud replied. "We've been over this a dozen times. Yes, I'm busy, but it's not because I'm avoiding my family. I thought you knew that." References to his difficulties after the war, a fact that Zack had no knowledge of.

"I do Cloud," Tifa sighed. "I just… I feel like you're not living your life."

"My life?" Cloud's response was quiet. "This is my life Tifa. You, Denzel, Marlene, my job. What else do you want me to have?"

"What everyone deserves to have," Tifa replied. "Why can't you just give yourself some credit Cloud. Why can't you just… take a break and… find someone…" Silence followed her statement, the three listening outside the door barely breathing for fear of being heard.

"I don't want to find 'someone,'" Cloud eventually replied. "I'm happy with my life the way it is, can't you see that?"

"No," Tifa rebuked, apparently unafraid to enter into confrontation with him. "You're not happy. Cloud, you've finally managed to move on from everything that happened. You're finally going forward. You have me, and Denzel, and Marlene, but that's not enough. You need to put yourself out there. You need to… open up to the possibilities."

"I don't have the time for that kind of messing around Tifa," he replied simply. "I have to get to work." Zack made out the sound of footsteps getting further from the door. "I'll be back sometime tomorrow."

"Agh, _Cloud_!" Tifa yelled after him, irritated, but all she got in return was the sound of a door opening and closing. Cloud had left the building and, despite how ashamed he was of the feeling, Zack was relieved. He wanted to see Cloud, more than anything, but at the same time, after so many years, what was he supposed to do when he did? He needed more time.

Shoulders dropping, he allowed a single sigh to leave his lips.

"So where did you two run off to?" But he snapped right back to attention at the sound of that voice. "Tifa was looking for you. You brought someone… home…" Turning, Zack watched as a familiar figure strolled out of a back room, the water glass he'd been holding slipping from his hand.

It plummeted to the floor and shattered.

"Zack… Fair…" Tseng, his perfect hair long and loose down his back, was staring wide eyed at the SOLDIER. He still had the trademark bindi on his forehead, his bangs jelled back gracefully.

He wasn't wearing his suit jacket, but sported a tie, white button-up shirt, and black slacks just the same.

"What's going on in here?" Tifa had heard the glass and come rushing in from the other room, her eyes finding the broken pieces before darting to Tseng, who was staring, shocked, at the two children and…

"Oh my god…" she whispered, her hand going to her mouth as her own red wine eyes widened in something far beyond astonishment. The children, by contrast, watched the scene in curious silence. "You're dead…" Tifa finished quietly.

"Uh," Zack let loose a rather awkward laugh, his arms crossing over his chest. "Well, apparently not since I'm… here…"

"No, she's right," Tseng agreed, Zack glancing over at him. "You're dead. I'm the one that disposed of your body." Cocking an eyebrow, Zack tried to come up with something to say to contradict him, but could come up with nothing. After all, such absolute evidence was hard to deny. "I was ordered to have your body burned," he continued, still in shock. "Your death is why Cissnei left the Turks."

"You're dead," Tifa repeated more firmly.

"How can he be dead if he's standing right in front of us?" Marlene interrupted, unaware of the situation she was intruding upon. Snapping her attention to the children, Tifa, her face paler than either of them had ever seen it, pursed her lips before going to the door.

"Outside you two," she issued sternly. "_Now_." Denzel and Marlene glanced only quickly at each other before darting to the other room and promptly into the backyard. They could tell, from that simple command, that something very serious was happening and they'd best do as they were told.

Once the children were out of the way, Tifa turned back to Zack, her defenses up as she clenched and unclenched her fists. Zack knew what that meant, and knew that if he wasn't careful, he'd be in for a fight. When he'd visited Nibelheim that one time, he'd heard she was being taught martial arts. No doubt she was far deadlier now.

"Who are you?" she barked sharply.

"Zack Fair," he answered honestly, tense now as Tseng eyed him warily as well. He glanced between the Turk and the leather clad, dark haired beauty, trying to decide whether he too should be ready to cast his defenses.

"That's impossible," Tseng replied coldly. "I already told you, I disposed of Zack Fair's body myself. Because of the experiments that Hojo had implemented on his physical being, his body was unable to be absorbed by the planet, even if his consciousness was. I burned all that had remained of him." A gruesome thought, but true nonetheless.

"Listen," Zack gulped, "all I know is that the last thing I remember before today was getting shot up by the Shinra military. After that, I woke up on that cliff and wound up walking to Edge. I went to the church in the slums where I met Marlene and she brought me here. Honest, I swear. As far as I know," he shrugged, "I'm Zack Fair." He was beginning to sound a little crazy even to himself.

"That's impossible," Tseng repeated, un-swayed by Zack's story.

"Maybe he's some kind of experiment Hojo did that none of know about," Tifa added. "A clone or something." She glanced over at Tseng, the two obviously completely unsure what to do.

"It's not totally impossible," Tseng replied, Zack listening with growing amounts of horror. Mostly because he feared that perhaps they were right. "We've seen the kind of work he's capable of, and I've seen tons of other classified Shinra experiments that would warrant such an understanding. I just want to know what it's doing here."

"Okay, I don't know if what you guys are saying is true or not," Zack interjected. "All I know is that I woke up in bed of yellow and white flowers earlier on the edge of a cliff. Honest, I swear. I'm not here for any other ulterior motive." At least, not that he was aware of.

"Yellow and white flowers?" Tifa questioned, her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Yeah," Zack replied. "Like the ones that grow in the church, the ones Aerith used to sell. The same exact kind actually." This seemed to silence the two, their minds working furiously as they tried to figure out what this meant.

"Those flowers have never been found growing anywhere but inside and around that church," Tifa explained. "And you woke up in a bed of them outside of Edge?" Zack nodded, still not exactly sure what he should be thinking about himself or his sudden appearance. And hoping he wasn't some messed up experiment. Though he highly doubted that. He felt very much like himself, if that was understandable.

"I'd be happy to show them to you," Zack explained. "Their on that cliff where-"

"Where you _died_," Tseng repeated yet again. Somewhat exasperated now, Zack turned swiftly to look at the Turk, his shoulders dropping. "Zack Fair was no Sephiroth, he's not the type to come back from the dead," Tseng continued. "You're not Zack Fair."

"Then who am I?!" Zack asked somewhat loudly, fear finally striking him as he considered that perhaps Tseng was right. That he wasn't who he thought he was. "I have all of… Zack's memories," frustrated now, he ran his hands through his spikey black hair before stomping his foot rather childishly. "I don't know any better than you do who I-"

"What's that?" Tifa didn't hesitate in interrupting Zack, her and Tseng's eyes falling to the envelope that, in Zack's flailing, had apparently fallen from his pocket. He glanced down as well, following their gaze, and shrugged when he saw it. Reaching down, he went to pick it up, but was caught off guard when, far swifter than he would have expected, Tifa intercepted the envelope before backing up again.

He pursed his lips, but didn't comment, knowing full well that he wasn't in a position to. Instead, her eyes remaining suspiciously on Zack for only a moment longer, Tifa opened the enveloped, completely unprepared for what was inside.

At first, she'd thought it was a simple sheet of paper. Yet as she opened it, Tseng coming to her side to look as well, she was surprised when, after unfolding it, to find it blank. The paper felt like nothing she'd ever held before, cold and far too smooth, and just as she was about to set it aside, a greenish sparkle caught her eye. And Tseng's as well.

Slowly, as if by magic, in a light green, cursive type font that Tifa recognized, two words appeared on the paper.

_For Cloud._

And after a few seconds, just enough time for them to read it about a dozen times, the font faded away again before the sheet of paper, and the envelope, suddenly broke into sparkling green wisp's, the little sparks drifting towards the ceiling before disappearing.

And left in their wake, sitting in Tifa's hand, was a familiar pink ribbon.

Breath sucked out of her, Tifa felt herself become woozy as she pulled her fingers around the ribbon. "I need to sit down," she decided, feeling somewhat feint as she clamored backwards into one of the chairs. Tseng, though he didn't voice it, was feeling much the same, lacking his natural grace as he sank down into a chair beside Tifa.

Together, they stared down at the ribbon, neither one sure what to say. Which was actually okay because Zack was rather good at breaking silences.

"That's Aerith's ribbon," he stated, gesturing towards it. "I remember. I was the one that bought it for her." Slowly, the other two glanced back up at him, their expressions completely altered, as if they now saw him in an entirely different light.

"This isn't possible," Tseng murmured. "There's just no way." Zack wasn't entirely sure what they were talking about, his curious stare darting between them as he waited somewhat impatiently for an explanation. "Someone can't…" Tseng was whispering, "come back from the dead."

Was that what he'd done? Zack honestly didn't know.

"Sephiroth did," Tifa replied, the rising of such a horrible person the only reference she could come up with.

"That's different," Tseng shook his head. "That was because of JENOVA, and because his will was so strong inside the lifestream that… that he manipulated others infected with Geostigma to do his bidding. It… can't be the same."

"But if… if Aerith's will inside the lifestream is what cured the stigma," Tifa reasoned, "then who's to say she couldn't…" they both glanced back at the ribbon, "bring someone back…"

"Or give them back, rather," Tseng muttered.

"Okay," Zack took a deep breath. "Can one of you explain to me what you're talking about?" Glancing back up at him, the two continued to stare until, finally, Tifa found the courage to speak.

"Aerith was an Ancient, she understands the planet and the lifestream. It's because of her influence that… that certain things have happened, or so we think," Tifa took a shaky breath. "The note and this ribbon… it's as if she wants us to believe that she brought you back…" Zack, his eyebrows furrowed, considered the notion. And, much like his reaction to finding out about Aerith's death, he found that this information didn't surprise him. Almost as if it made sense, was correct, and he knew it.

"I think that you're right," he started, voicing his thoughts as he took a step towards Tifa. "Somehow," he held his hand out to her and, after only a moments hesitation, she handed him the pink ribbon, "I just know that… that she's the one responsible for this." He shook his head, feeling a rather vague headache forming in his temples as he stared down at the ribbon. "I just know…"

Silence followed his speech, everyone in the room considering his words as they stared, mostly, at the pink ribbon. The one Tifa knew had been lost that fateful day in the City of the Ancients.

It seemed so impossible, yet at the same time, now that her mind had had time to calm, she could admit that, though this was perhaps the heaviest of anything she'd experienced, it certainly wasn't the strangest. Someone coming back from the dead wasn't as hard to fathom as half of what she'd witnessed, though perhaps more taboo to consider.

"Well," Tifa took a deep breath, drawing the others attention as she leaned back in her chair, "this isn't what I would call a good thing." If Aerith was responsible for this, she dared to say she disagreed with her dead friend's judgment.

"Uh, I'd like to disagree," Zack replied rather skeptically. "Being dead wasn't exactly a priority of mine." He was rather offended by her comment, truthfully.

"That's not what I meant," Tifa replied as Zack sat down at a chair at the same table where his two companions had sat down. In his hand, he still held Aerith's ribbon. "What I mean is that I don't think this is going to be good for Cloud." Brows furrowed, Zack made it apparent that he still didn't understand what she meant.

"You do know that Cloud and I were… friends," perhaps he shouldn't admit to the true nature of their relationship. "Don't you think he'll be happy to see me?"

"Cloud is never happy," Tseng interjected, Zack somewhat offended that him, of all people, dared say what Cloud could and couldn't be. Zack had seen Cloud happy plenty of times. More than happy, excited even, on many an occasion.

Perhaps times had changed, but… still…

"You don't understand Zack," Tifa started. "You don't know… what happened to him. Whatever Cloud you knew before…" Before he'd died. "Well, he isn't that person anymore." Zack pursed his lips, seeming skeptical. Whether he'd changed or not, that didn't alter the fact that they'd been… close.

"And I mean that literally Zack," Tifa tried to reiterate. "He's really _not_ that person anymore."

Well, now he was just confused. "I don't understand…"

Tifa sighed. "Something happened to him, something inside," she patted her own skull, trying to make her point. "It… it happened when you… died. And when he was poisoned with the Mako, with the JENOVA cells mixed in," she shook her head, sounding helpless. "He took on another identity. He was messed up so bad by everything that happened, by the trauma, that he… he convinced himself for a while that… that he was you."

"What?" Zack cocked his head to the side, concern flaring inside him at Tifa's explanation. "What do you mean?"

"I found him in Midgar, I guess a few days after you died," Tifa continued. "He'd claimed to be a 1st class SOLDIER, and when he'd explain what had happened in Nibelheim that day… he'd explain it from your point of view. It was like every memory he had of being with you - he turned it into his own and completely wiped you from his memory.

"He even adopted your gestures and your attitude, and how you talked," she sighed, Zack gaping at her. "And when… when Sephiroth explained to him what he really was…"

"What are talking about?" Zack questioned quickly. "What do you mean 'what' he was?" He was growing extremely worried now, afraid that he didn't want to hear what was going to be said.

"When Hojo experimented on you two, after the incident in Nibelheim," Tseng took over, "he had to basically put Cloud back together after what had happened. And when he did, not only did he give him mako poisoning, but he used JENOVA cells to make him whole again. He made him into a Sephiroth clone."

"A Sephiroth clone?" Zack was flabbergasted.

"Yeah," Tifa agreed. "He claimed, in the end, that Cloud was a failure, but when it came to Sephiroth taking control of the clones, summoning them for the JENOVA reunion… Cloud was the only one that actually made it. Unconsciously, he was called to Sephiroth and that was… that was where he learned the truth. About you, and about who he really was.

"It destroyed him."

She sighed, obviously remembering a very painful memory.

"I remember we both… we both fell into the lifestream and I… I had to put his memories back together for him. His whole consciousness had been spread out and broken," she closed her eyes, as if she was in pain. "Everything he'd accomplished, that he was proud of, everything he'd thought he was… had turned out to be you. And even now I think he has trouble remembering correctly what parts of his memories are his and what parts are you. I'm afraid that… that seeing you again, as a real person, as someone that actually existed… I'm afraid it'll be too much for him."

"This is all my fault…" Zack muttered, sinking back in his seat and ignoring the curious stares he was getting from the other two. "I'm the one that told him to… to make my dreams his, to live for both of us. If I hadn't said that, then…"

"That's hardly true," Tseng tried to comfort. "I actually believe that Cloud taking on your identity may have been what saved him." Both Tifa and Zack glanced over at him in confusion, not understanding his words. "You have to understand the finite details of Hojo's experimentation," he started. "He made many Sephiroth clones, a term that isn't exactly true, but gets the point across. Most of the people in Nibelheim were made into clones after the town was destroyed, but because they couldn't withstand the pressure of the JENOVA cell's influence, they lost themselves and became mindless slaves. These were the ones he labeled a success and granted numbers. Cloud, however, was saved before his mind was completely gone.

"By you," Tseng nodded towards Zack. "You broke him out and by doing so, when his mind was at its most vulnerable, saved him from fading completely. And when the Mako poisoning finally wore off, it was your life and actions that were imprinted on him, giving him more time to figure out who he truly was, to find his own memories again. Had he not become you, been reintroduced into a human lifestyle, he may have ended up like all those other clones and simply followed Sephiroth to their deaths.

"He grew strong enough, under your influence, to fight the cells, after which Tifa pieced his consciousness back together."

"This is all so confusing," Zack stated, frustrated as he placed his head in his hands, Aerith's ribbon lying comfortingly across his forehead.

"And that's only half his problems," a new voice entered the conversation, all of them glancing up in surprise as Reno made his presence known. "All that aside, he's got all kinds of guilt over all the shitty things he's done as well a rather huge inferiority complex."

"How long have you been listening?" Tifa asked somewhat sharply as Reno sat down in the last chair at their table.

"Since he came in, heard the whole story," he assured, earning a scolding look from every person there. "But, to be totally honest, I don't think you guys are giving him enough credit. Cloud I mean."

"Because you're the expert on Cloud?" Tifa asked as she crossed her arms under her breasts. Reno cast her a bitter smile, a response to her sarcasm, before clearing his throat.

"All I'm sayin' is," he paused for dramatic effect, "Cloud has proven strength in the face of adversity many time over the years." He leaned forward on the table, his long red hair falling over the shoulder of his suit jacket in the form of a long ponytail. "After he found out what a pile of bull his memory was, he still got up and went after Sephiroth with the rest of you. And just recently, when the stigma was callin' all them kids, and him, and all the other leftover clones," Kadaj and his gang, "he went after him again and got rid of him. So maybe you should quit doubting him just cause he's a little, okay, a _lot_, screwed up in the head." He leaned back then, satisfied he'd said his piece.

"Besides," he added, "I'm not really comfortable disagreeing with Aerith's judgment." He shrugged.

"Yeah, but…" Tifa was frowning. "I don't want to… to cause him any more pain. He's finally settled in, accepted everything that's happened. I don't want him to… to spiral into that place again. None of you saw him like that, just… gone…" She pursed her lips. "He has a family now, and…"

"And you said it yourself he's not happy," Tseng added, not seeming to be on one side or the other. "Just a little while ago you said he needed to put himself out there, find someone, feel something."

"I don't see what that has to do with Zack," she replied simply. It was then, Tseng and Reno glancing knowingly at each other, that she realized they knew something she didn't. Looking back at Zack, she noted that he was staring pointedly away from her. "What's going on?" she asked coldly.

"Well," Reno laughed slightly. "Let's just say that, back in the SOLDIER days, Zack and Cloud were pretty… inseparable." Zack cast him a glare, one that wasn't very effective due to the pouting fashion of his lips. "I remember, whenever I'd happen to pass you by, you'd be hangin' 'round that spikey haired, blonde infantryman. A little too much really, that is, for good friends."

"Yeah, well, you and Rude aren't much to talk," Zack snapped back quickly, defensively, and it was Reno's turn to glare.

"Wait, wait, wait," Tifa cut in, noticing quickly the amused smile pulling at Tseng's lips. "You and Rude are…?" she had turned her attention to Reno, her fingers twining together as she attempted to comprehend.

"Hey," Reno deflected the attention. "This is about Zack and Cloud, _not_ me and Rude." His change in subject had worked, Tifa glancing curiously to Zack. She'd long since realized that though she'd once held feelings for Cloud, he'd never return them. Mostly because, well, she felt that in his current state, he was incapable of loving someone in that way, which was why she'd been encouraging him to try. They'd become like brother and sister, but perhaps his mental instability hadn't had anything to do with it.

Then again, he'd seemed quite head over heels for Aerith…

Maybe he played both sides.

"That was a long time ago," Zack explained, his heart beating fast in both embarrassment and excitement over the prospect of perhaps getting Cloud back again, even if he was a bucket of loose bolts. "It's been nearly ten years since there was anything… like that between us."

"So you two were really a couple?" Tifa asked, her eyes wide. "He never even hinted at it, simply said you were a friend. I never would have…" She was still baffled. Cloud, with a guy. Thinking of Cloud with a woman was weird enough, but with another man? Or perhaps it made more sense. She wasn't quite sure.

"Talking about losing ones love isn't exactly an easy thing to speak of," Tseng muttered, his tone slightly scolding at Tifa's ignorant statement. Yet, at the same time, she was the only one that noticed how his eyes fell to Aerith's ribbon in Zack's hand.

"Maybe he's the best thing for Cloud," Reno continued to argue his point of view. "Sure, it'll probably screw him up something fierce at first, but it could be good for him. Maybe he can finally get straight who he is, and who Zack is. And maybe he just might… I dunno… get some."

"Excuse me?" both Zack and Tifa said at the same time and Reno rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on," he slammed his hands down on the table. "Look at the guy. He hasn't been involved with anyone in ten years, at least not seriously. And considering his messed up state of mind, he doesn't strike me as the type for one night stands. No wonder he's so pissed off all the time; hasn't been laid in forever."

"That… wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind when I told him to put himself out there," Tifa stated, her eyebrows furrowed uncomfortably. "Though I suppose that would be pretty frustrating."

"See?!" Reno truly felt he was getting to the root of Cloud's problems. "This is your mission while you're here," he pointed directly at Zack. "Get in Cloud's pants so maybe he'll lighten up a little." Zack gaped further.

"You're just irritated because he's your boss now and he doesn't put up with your nonsense," Tseng interjected. "Getting him some 'action' isn't going to make him go any easier on you."

"How do you know?" Reno asked snottily. "It's not like you can speak from experience. I know you weren't gettin' any when _you_ were my boss." Tseng glared at him then, but didn't comment.

"This conversation has taken an unfortunate turn," Tifa decided, here eyes falling again to Zack. "Let's get back to the real issue here, that being you." She narrowed her stare. "What exactly are your intentions with Cloud?"

"What?" Zack, leaned back in his chair and, much like Reno had, rolled his eyes. "Intentions? I don't have any intentions for him. I'd say I was happy simply knowing he's alight, but apparently he's not so I'll just go with alive." He was somewhat offended by her attitude actually. "I just woke up from… death," he continued. "After a year dragging that kid," Cloud, "around with no one else to turn to. He's kind of the only one I had going for me, so yeah, he's who I was looking for. But I don't have any… 'intentions' for him." At least, not yet. He'd have to tread carefully around Cloud, if what everyone was saying was true.

Still, he could hardly believe everything Cloud had gone through. And there was probably more he hadn't even heard yet. It broke his heart just thinking about it…

"I only happened here by chance," or so he assumed, though perhaps Aerith had something to do with it. "Mostly, I just need a place to stay until I can figure this shit out." For the first time since he'd shown up, the three at the table realized that Cloud wasn't the only one they had to worry about. "I mean, what am I supposed to do in a world without SOLDIER?" his voice grew quieter as he considered it, Tifa frowning in concern. "The only thing I know how to do is fight… and kill…" Truly, it was all he was qualified for.

"Well…" Tifa considered the options, knowing full well that she couldn't just throw Zack out in the streets. He'd never survive. People in general were hardly surviving as it was. "Why don't you stay here until you can speak with Cloud. And I guess we'll go from there. Maybe…" she shrugged, a small smile pulling at her lips. "Maybe Cloud will give you a job."

"You can have my deliveries," Reno yawned, his eyes closing as he leaned his head back over his chair.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Tseng decided. "Odds are, Cloud being introduced to Zack isn't going to go well. You'll probably need to pick up a few more shifts." Reno groaned. "That is," Tseng looked to Tifa, "if we agree that Cloud meeting him is the best thing."

Tifa was silent for a moment, Zack somewhat bothered that his opinion wasn't even asked, but supposing it was understandable since he hadn't known Cloud in ten years. She considered the idea, finally sighing in defeat.

"Alright, yes, they should meet, if only to see what happens." She turned on Zack, pointing at him accusingly. "But if you break him…" She was totally serious.

"It won't be on purpose," Zack assured.

"Well, he'll be back tomorrow," she explained. "And I think Barrett's coming in tonight, so I'll hand Marlene and Denzel over to him after I explain." Standing, she took a deep, calming breath.

"Why are you sending the kids away?" Zack asked curiously.

"Because," she started with a knowing tone. "When it comes to Cloud, one can never know what's going to happen."

* * *

**A/N:** I know, no Cloud in this one, well, not much, but I had to get the intro out of the way. Mostly because I know FFVII and its spinoffs can be confusing, and since I'm incorporating quite a few, I wanted the readers to have a firm grasp on what had happened. Cloud meets Zack in the next chapter however, so look forward to that!

Please R&R! I love to hear your thoughts!


	2. Chapter 2: Forgetting You

**In a Bed of Flowers **

_Chapter 2: Forgetting You_

The time had come. Cloud was finally home.

Anxiously, Zack waited in the kitchen, leaning up against the counter. Before him, sitting at the table enjoying their lunch, were Tseng and Reno, and Rude too, who'd returned sometime the night before. Across from them, standing at the counter, was Tifa, who was apparently in charge of feeding the entire delivery crew. Zack hadn't realized, during his in initial walk-in, that the building beside the bar was connected, granting everyone a room of their own, like small apartments.

Hearing the door open a moment after Zack had (his hearing was a little more advanced thanks to his "training"), Tifa glanced up only quickly before rushing around the counter and out into the other room. The entire kitchen fell silent, all four of them listening as she confronted Cloud.

"I need to talk to you," they heard her say immediately, her tone beyond serious, and Zack felt his heart pick up in pace with his nerves. Crossing his arms over his chest, he started to neurotically tap his fingers.

"If it's about our argument yesterday," Cloud started, "then don't worry about it. Whatever it is," he sounded exhausted, "you're right." It was apparent to everyone listening that he was simply trying to get Tifa off is back. Considering he'd gone all the way to Kalm and back in a single day, he must not have slept at all, just drove, dropped off the delivery, and come back.

Sleep was, no doubt, the only thing he wanted to think about.

"It's not," she verified quickly, Zack noting that her voice was getting closer. Cloud must be walking towards the kitchen. "I really need you to listen to me Cloud, it's important. So if you could focus for a moment."

"Did something happen to one of the kids?" he asked, voice suddenly alert. "Or someone else? Is someone hurt?"

"No, nothing like that," Tifa assured quickly. "Wait, Cloud, it's still really important. I know you're tired-"

"And hungry."

"And hungry, but I need you to stop for a second and-"

"Explain while I eat," he finally decided, sounding rather exasperated, his voice far too close for Zack's comfort. However, it'd come to all their attention that Tifa attempting to warn him probably wouldn't do any good anyway. He'd still have to see for his own eyes, so none of them were totally heartbroken over the fact that he'd completely sidestepped Tifa in favor of entering the kitchen.

And as the door swung open, Zack unconsciously stood a little straighter.

What he saw, however, he hadn't been prepared for.

Cloud, through walls and doors, had sounded, to Zack, just as he always had. Quiet, reserved, maybe a little insecure, but still velvety to the ears. And so, in his mind, he'd concocted an image of Cloud from all those years ago, an image that was, quite noticeably to him now, false.

The boy, no, man, that stepped through the door definitely caught him off guard.

Dressed from head to toe in black, a large sword, similar in shape to the buster sword, protruded from behind him. His hair was still that shining, sunny blonde, and still spiked in the same manner, but his physique was foreign. He'd grown, his body toned and lean, not the skinny runt Zack had once known. There was something in his gate, in how he walked, that spoke of battle experience. A grace and easiness that only came to those who'd trained themselves in an art of physical form. Though he was still somewhat shorter, still sporting his five-eight height, he was definitely bigger. Not in the sense of physicality, but in his presence. It was heavy, intimidating, and Zack blinked, not sure how he should react.

The man before him was dangerous, agile, lethal, and probably not the type to ever let his guard down.

A true SOLDIER if Zack had ever seen one.

And then he finally looked up, his face having been previously turned towards the floor. Their eyes met, mako glow against mako glow, and Zack finally saw something familiar (other than the hair) in the man before him. Though he'd filled out and muscled up, no amount of mako, exercise, or strain had worn away the soft curves of his face. He still possessed that… incredible beauty that seemed feminine at first, but misplaced when considered for a woman. The soft point of his nose, those cat-curved eyes. That sad, downturned mouth.

Cloud.

It seemed like it was in slow motion to Zack, his breathing held as they stared at each other, as Cloud blinked only once before turning his gaze away.

He focused on the others in the room, Tifa coming in behind him. And Zack was surprised to note that he gave each of the other three men the same amount of attention he'd granted him before, finally, turning towards the counter and reaching for one of the cupboards.

Time sped back up at a rapid rate.

"Uh, C-Cloud," Tifa stuttered uncertainly, all of them silent as they watched the blonde rummage around for something fast to eat, acting as if nothing was amiss. As if it were any other typical day and his dead best friend wasn't standing in his kitchen. "Are… are you alright?"

"Just tired," he replied simply.

"Did… did that just happen?" Reno whispered to Rude, all three of them also staring wide-eyed at the man who'd just entered. "It was like he didn't even see him…" Rude nodded solemnly in agreement, Tifa glancing around at everyone to make sure she wasn't only one who'd just witnessed Cloud's completely _unexpected_ unexpected behavior.

Unsure what to do at this point, but knowing Cloud had, indeed, seen him since they'd made eye contact, Zack somewhat awkwardly cleared his throat, the action causing Tifa to jump from her position beside the door she was so uptight. And still, not a single reaction from Cloud.

Instead, he pulled out two slices of bread before dropping them in the toaster and pressing down on the button. Hands flat against the counter, he sighed and started to wait.

Slowly, everyone that had been sitting at the table in front of Zack turned to look at him, as if to make sure he was still there, and Zack even found himself glancing down at his SOLDIER uniform, making sure he hadn't gone invisible.

Nope, still whole.

They all looked at each other, everyone in the room except for Cloud. And they were all at a loss for what to do. It wasn't until the toast finally popped back up that Zack was jolted into courage. Taking a huffing breath, he walked determinedly across the kitchen until he was at the counter with only about two feet between him and Cloud.

Around him, everyone was watching in earnest, not even a breath heard between them.

Zack cleared his throat again. "So Cloud," to him, in the silent room, it sounded like he was yelling. "Long time no see, huh?" He smiled, hoping it was an encouraging expression, but Cloud didn't even look up at him. He did pause in spreading jam to his toast however, but only for a split second before he continued on as if he'd heard nothing at all.

But he _had_ heard, of that Zack was absolutely certain.

"So…" Zack tried again. "How ya liken' your toast…?" Behind him, he heard the other three at the table whispering, which only put his nerves more on edge. "Blueberry jam," Zack was smiling again, almost laughing at the idiocy of what he was saying. "That _was_ always your favorite."

Cloud sighed.

"You know what," he furrowed his eyebrows and Zack wondered if he was finally going to acknowledge him. "I'm more exhausted than I thought." He closed his eyes, shaking his head vaguely before turning to Tifa, his back to Zack as he blatantly ignored him. "I think I'm just going to head for bed." He nodded to himself once before turning again, this time facing Zack.

He looked right at him.

And then walked around him and out the door on the other side of the room.

They all watched, gaping with shock.

"What… just…" Tseng was glancing between the door Cloud had walked through and Zack, speechless. It wasn't until Tifa spoke, her swift intake of breath drawing their attention, that they realized what was going on.

"He thinks he's imagining you," she murmured, her eyes falling to Zack. "He doesn't realize you're real." Zack's gape fell further then, his shoulders dropping. Imagining him? Cloud? Really? Was he that… unstable, even now?

Tifa, her understanding now set, headed after Cloud, calling his name loudly. And as she exited the kitchen, Rude, Reno, and Tseng darted up and after her, Zack following last as they left the kitchen and entered the living room.

The three Turks took seats on the couch, Tifa coming back from the hall, practically pushing Cloud out into the open. Zack, however, hung back, waiting to see what was going to happen.

"I need you to sit down Cloud," Tifa explained softly, the blonde sighing as he did as asked and plopped down in a comfy chair beside an end table. "It's very important that you listen to me," she was looking down at him, her hand on his shoulder. Zack, once again finding courage, made his way to Cloud's other side before getting down on his knees beside the chair, where he could look up at the blonde. Yet still he was ignored.

Tifa glanced at him quickly, apparently unsure what to say despite how she'd asked Cloud to listen.

"Cloud," Zack said his name quietly, the blonde's lips pursing at the sound of his voice, but he still refused to look at him. "C'mon Spike, I need you to look at me." He considered reaching out to perhaps touch his arm, but was afraid of the reaction he'd get. "Quit ignoring me, alright? I know you can see-"

"Whatever it is you need to tell me Tifa, please hurry," Cloud interrupted. "I really, _really_ need some sleep." Zack, somewhat affronted at being interrupted, pouted and laid his hands on the arm of the couch, looking a lot like a puppy as he stared up at Cloud.

"Um, okay, Cloud," Tifa, realizing that she'd have to intervene since Zack wasn't getting anywhere, rounded Cloud until she was standing directly before him. Sitting back, she placed her rear on a long coffee table and took a deep breath. "I want you to stay calm about what I'm going to tell you, okay?" she spoke slowly, soothingly, and Cloud narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Just… stay calm…"

"I'm calm," he stated with some irritation, Zack's puppy-dog eyes rubbing on his nerves.

Glancing over her shoulder, Tifa took some support from the other three men in the room before turning back and licking her lips nervously. "Okay, um," she was trying to find the best way to put this, "I… I can see Zack… just like you…" She waited a moment, but only got a surprised eyebrow furrow in response. "And so can they," she gestured to the men on the couch. "You're not… imagining him honey. He's… sitting right next to you…"

Zack, expression becoming serious, watched with unease as Cloud's entire form tensed, his breath coming at a minimum as his eyes darted to the three Turks sitting on the couch.

"She's right," Reno confirmed.

"It's true," Tseng.

Rude nodded.

"It's not you Cloud," Tifa encouraged. "He's really here…"

At first, breath held static in his lungs, Zack watched as Cloud continued to simply stare straight ahead, as if still trying to ignore him. Yet, ever so slowly, the blonde's eyes started to move towards him, their striking glow wide. Zack dared not move, not a single bit, for fear of startling Cloud. It was rather like approaching a crazed animal; one couldn't know what they'd do.

Everyone in the room heard Cloud's breath become shaky, his eyes and head having turned fully until he was staring down at Zack. No one so much as made a peep, each of them intent on watching the show unfold, unabashed in their gawking. Their curiosity was too much, they couldn't help wanting to see what Cloud would do.

It was sick, but true nonetheless.

A sadistic freak show that was bound to end in turmoil.

Still obviously skeptical, Cloud's fingers twitched atop his thigh, his hand ever so slowly rising and reaching towards the man still crouched down, staring up at him. Zack felt his heart skip, his whole body frenzied with anticipation. He never took his eyes from Cloud's however, only able to see his hand out of the corner of his stare.

That was until Cloud bravely pulled it between them, his whole body seeming to lean back in protest as he hesitantly pushed his fingers forward. It was apparent that he was attempting to test the waters, to perhaps brush his skin against Zack's cheek, or nose, or lips, if only to verify that he was in fact real and not some haunting phantom.

Zack had a fault however. Angeal, his old friend and mentor, had often times referred to him as a puppy. An anxious, impatient, excitable, unfocused pup. It was this trait, in his eagerness to have Cloud acknowledge him, that he made a grave mistake.

He wanted to reassure the blonde, to somehow reach out to him.

So when those fingertips were but a few inches from his face, he had the foolish thought of meeting him halfway. He reached up with his own hand, towards Cloud's, and realized all too late what a wrong decision that had been.

The mere twitch of movement from him was too much for the skittish man beside him to take.

"Cloud!" Tifa's voice echoed across the room as the slow motion that had previously shrouded the crowd was snapped into nothing. So startled by Zack's attempt to reach out to him, Cloud had vaulted to his feet, stumbling over the side of the chair. Tripping, he fell into he end table, the whole thing falling backwards as he attempted to right himself in the process. But instead his leg got tangled in the cord of the lamp that was tumbling to the floor. The tug as it shattered on the carpet was enough to knock him further off balance and he finally fell, landing in a heap with the crashing lamp and table.

Everyone else had jumped to their feet as well, watching with wide eyes. Tseng took a single step forward, as if to somehow help, but Tifa was swifter and beat him to the punch. She whisked her way to the floor beside the blonde, immediately offering her assistance.

Zack, his mouth agape and cheeks as pale as alabaster, towered above the scene, staring down at Cloud from the other side of the chair with guilt running through his veins. His hands became fists at his sides, control he issued when the urge to rush to Cloud's aid assaulted him. An action he was quite sure would be of no help at all.

"Cloud, are you alright?" Tifa asked hastily, reaching out to steady him. But he wasn't paying any attention to her. He was staring at Zack. Zack, who everyone else could see, who wasn't an apparition projected by his consciousness.

Who was there, in that room…

"Cloud!" Tifa said his name again. "Are you _alright_?" Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard her voice, but it registered as a secondary sound, the beating of his heart the dominant noise thumping in his ears. "Cloud, you're bleeding," she continued, but those eyes, those mako eyes staring at him…

Eyes that had long since closed to him.

"**Cloud**!" Tifa grabbed him roughly by the shoulders, shaking him hard and forcing him to snap his attention to her concerned stare. He blinked, pulling his hand from the floor to ward her off, a defensive gesture. Yet as he did, he caught sight of it, that deep red color.

Blood.

A cut on his hand from the shattered lamp.

Red, scarlet -

Surrounding those mako eyes…

It was raining, pooling and dispersing the blood. It didn't wash away though, just sat, drowning them. He could smell it, that irony stench that warmed his nostrils as he breathed. Death. It was happening right in front of him.

So many wounds, so many bullets, and nothing he could do about it. He was useless, helpless in his disabled body as he leaned forward, gaping over the figure submerged in the grime.

The rain was dense, pounding upon on him, weighing him down. So heavy…

"_Cloud! Snap out of it!_"

The sound of a weak heartbeat, a fading thump. The warm liquid splashed across his face, confusion sweeping over him as he stared. A legacy. To live. Live in what? In red.

Death.

Scarlet rain…

"_Cloud… come back… come _on_!_"

This man, he knew him, but he didn't want to. Not like this, not in the hands of the end. He was all he had, everything in his small, insignificant world. But death… it was there, in that red, in those mako eyes.

Forget. Forget it all.

He'd live two lives… live for both of them.

A legacy.

"_**Cloud!**_"

Living red.

And screaming death.

_Death_…

"You're dead."

Silence.

No one in the room dared say anything then, completely quiet as Cloud's statement rang from wall to wall. Tifa stared at him, her breath held in her chest, and he stared at Zack, his striking blue eyes focused on the man still standing, frozen, on the other side of the chair.

"I saw you die," he continued, completely firm in his understanding, yet the fact that he had to say it out loud seemed to hint that he was doubting his own claim. Doubting the legitimacy of his memory.

"Ye-yes," Tifa hesitantly agreed, her voice quiet. "You saw him die Cloud, you did." He didn't flick his stare to her as she spoke and she hoped he could hear her, that he wasn't stuck in some kind of mental limbo that was impossible to get past with Zack standing, alive, directly in front of him.

"You're _dead_," he repeated, this time saying the words almost accusingly as he glared at Zack. As if he expected the SOLDIER to drop right there in front of him, if only to prove his claim. Yet when Zack did nothing more than look back, Cloud was forced to face his own frustration.

Shoving Tifa away, he pushed himself into standing, the woman sitting on the floor beside him gaping. Blood, it was dripping from his hand, but he didn't care.

"I _know_ you _died_," he continued to repeat the same thing over and over again, but Zack never disappeared. He never just… went away! He remained standing there, before them all an eyesore that wreaked havoc on Cloud's mind. "I'm not wrong."

Yes, Tifa could see where this was going. So many of his memories had been switched, molded, changed. To him, Zack's presence was a contradiction to one of the few things he'd thought was a concrete certainty about his past. He feared becoming that, becoming someone he wasn't. Not knowing if what he remembered was right or wrong.

"You're _dead_ to me," he hissed, his tone sounding of anger now and everyone, including Zack, flinched away from the words. There was so much resentment, so much hurt apparent in his tone. As if he took personal offense to the fact that Zack dared stand and live before him.

And as if that statement finalized the verdict, he turned, _making_ Zack vanish from his line of sight. He walked away, down the hall, and didn't look back.

Those still in the living room, stunned, just barely made out the quiet click of his door closing. Their breath was hushed, Cloud's determined words still hanging in the air. His hurtful, unforgiving, honest words.

A truth he _wanted_ to believe.

"He hates me…" Zack finally whispered, his tone broken as his eyes drifted to the floor. Everyone's attention slipped to him then, Tifa slowly standing from the rubble on the floor. "I'm dead to him…" he shook his head helplessly, his trademark smile nowhere remotely close to his current disposition.

He'd never been more hurt in his life.

"Zack, that's not… that's not what he meant," Tifa tried to comfort, her own heart going out to the tall SOLDIER. " He's just… confused… and scared. He's afraid of you." Zack was shaking his head, not understanding her words because Cloud's had been so… strong in his ears.

"She's right," Tseng interjected quietly. "Look at it from his point of view. He hasn't been able to depend on his memory in the past and is probably questioning the very essence of it now. Seeing you, in the flesh, was just too overwhelming for him."

"I'll go talk to him," Tifa assured as she came to Zack's side. "Maybe once he calms down," she placed a comforting hand on his arm, "he'll be willing to listen, to understand." Zack didn't reply, didn't even look at her, but she smiled reassuringly anyway. Standing beside him for only a moment longer, she took a deep breath and walked away, down the same hall Cloud had retreated to.

Eyes closing, Zack grimaced before, somewhat defeated, walking forward and dropping down onto the couch opposite the Turks. Head in his hands, he tried to make sense of what Tifa and Tseng had said, wanting more than anything to believe their words.

Believe that it wasn't him who Cloud hated, but the confusion he'd caused.

"Don't take it personally," Reno stated, the three of them sitting back down as well. "Cloud's a real enigma, but he'll come around. He always does." Zack peered up at them, still frowning and upset, but also questioning. It was odd to him, the fact that he had to get answers from, well, everyone when it came to his own best friend.

Or _previous_ best friend he supposed.

"He's the type that has to cause himself as much pain as possible before he's satisfied to move on," Tseng explained, Rude nodding in agreement. "Reno's right. Just stick around and he might warm up to you, though it could take a while."

"Such encouraging words," Zack replied, sarcasm dripping from his tone as he flopped against the back of the couch and sighed. "You all seem to know him pretty well though, by the sounds of it." He peered over at them curiously. "Tell me, how'd you all come to know each other anyway?"

Tseng grinned bitterly, Reno laughing. "Well, we didn't always get along," Tseng started. "After your unfortunate demise, Cloud joined up with AVALANCHE and started reeking havoc on Shinra. Then a race started, his group and ours pursuing Sephiroth. In the end though, none of it really made a difference. He was the one that stopped him, just like he's the one that stopped him this last time despite our attempts at the same. I guess we didn't have a choice, really, other than to work with him.

"At least, that's what the President decided. Cloud was the only muscle we had to depend on when Sephiroth started to come back the second time, and since then, we haven't exactly made a habit of being very far away."

Zack had narrowed his eyes then, suspicion leaking into his gaze. "You don't work for Rufus anymore, yet you still referred to him as the President," all three Turks glanced up to him. "And you're never very far… so it's not friendship that draws you to Cloud. It's something else."

"We are friends," Tseng defended, his lips pursing defensively. "At least, as close to that as Cloud allows. But… you are right, that's not the only reason we're here." Zack cocked a curious brow. "Tifa knows it, Rufus does, all Cloud's friends. It's no secret."

"See, the thing is," Reno interjected, "when shit starts to hit the fan, there's only one person who always ends up in the middle of it."

"Cloud," Zack finished, his words somewhat bitter. "You're not working for him, you're still working for Rufus. You're keeping an eye on him, aren't you?" Zack smiled, somewhat amused, but not surprised. The Turks _were_ spies after all. It's what they did best.

"We work for Cloud, and we're happy to do so," Tseng corrected. "No, we don't work for Rufus, but he's still someone we communicate with and we agree with his analysis of the situation. When something important happens, something with the planet, or Sephiroth, well, Cloud's always there.

"Kind of like you coming back. Cloud's the one who's the center of your attention."

"You think I'm an important issue worthy of reporting?" Zack asked skeptically. "Just because I happened to have been close friends with Cloud?"

"Yes," Tseng agreed easily. "People don't come back from the dead Zack, not people like you. Not people without a motive." People other than Sephiroth. "Yet here you are, and of course you're connected to Cloud. To overlook this would be a severe oversight. Why are you back? Who sent you? Aerith? Then why? These are all very important questions."

"I'm here for Cloud," Zack replied easily, unaware the words were on his tongue even as he'd said them. But it was true he supposed. Crossing his arms over his chest, he nodded, reaffirming his position.

"Exactly," Tseng replied, his response getting him an eyebrow furrow from Zack. "Why does Cloud need you? He was getting along pretty well without you, getting better, living a normal life. Who knows, maybe he could have even found someone, but then you show up. And, to be honest, you've completely backtracked his progress." Zack frowned, but didn't comment.

"If Cloud needs ya," Reno leaned forward, his hands clasped together as he leaned his elbows on his knees, "then it aint so you two can catch up like old pals and go canoodlin' 'round town. Maybe that could be a bonus, but I'm bettin' there's more to it."

"If he needs you here, then there's another reason why," Tseng stated. "But unfortunately, whatever that is, it would appear only Aerith knows." He sighed. "So, we'll just have to report in and keep an eye out."

"I think you're making something out of nothing," Zack replied, his tone somewhat quieter. Despite how he wanted to reject the idea however, he had to admit that their points were valid. Perhaps getting his best friend and… lover back was first on _his_ agenda, but, as he very well knew, the agenda of others were far out of his control.

"Someone coming back from the dead isn't nothing," Tseng stated. "You'd do good to realize that."

Zack frowned.

**oOo**

"Cloud?" Tifa tapped lightly on his door, but got no response. Not that she'd really been expecting one. Sighing, she turned the handle and slowly pushed her way inside.

It was dark, the day cloudy and unforgiving of the sun. It's didn't help that Cloud had decided to keep all the lights off. But it wasn't difficult for her to find him. Laying on his bed, he had his back to her and was probably staring at the wall.

"I don't know who he is Tifa, but I want him to leave," he explained, apparently fully aware that she was in the room as she closed the door softly behind her. "Zack Fair is dead and I don't find it amusing that someone else is parading around pretending to be someone they're not." To him, that could be the only possible explanation.

Tifa frowned. "Cloud…" she made her way across the room and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I… we all think that it's the real Zack Fair out there." She placed a comforting hand on his leg, able to sense the tension restricting his body.

"That's impossible," he replied. "I saw him die Tifa. I was right there." He remembered the smell of blood, Zack's last words. The bullet wounds to his chest that had hindered his breathing. The rain as it'd drowned them.

He remembered…

"I know you did," Tifa agreed.

"Then that can't be the real Zack," Cloud stated before Tifa could continue her case. "I know what I saw; I'm not wrong this time. I'm not crazy…"

"No, honey, you're not. I know that. Everyone does. No one thinks you're crazy and-"

Sitting up abruptly, he turned to her, his narrowed eyes severe. "Then how can you say you think he's the real Zack Fair? That's… _not…_ possible." Tifa could understand his point of view, why he'd be hurt that, despite his reasoning, they'd still believe Zack was _really_ Zack. For someone who was insecure about their state of mind, to have the people he trusted doubt him wasn't offending, no, but painful.

"Cloud, please, just listen to me," Tifa started quietly, aware that Cloud was already firmly set on being rebellious of everything she had to say. He _wanted_ Zack to be dead; he wanted things to stay the same. He'd finally come to accept everything that had happened, to live with the pain of going on without the people he'd lost. To go back and revisit those memories… Even if Zack was really alive, recalling his death was inevitable whenever he was around. A reminder Cloud couldn't avoid.

He'd have to go through another kind of healing, one that wouldn't start out in a soothing fashion.

"I know this is going to be really hard to believe, it was for all of us, but please, just give understanding a chance." A hard thing to do in his position. As if to verify this, he looked away, eyes trained on the window. "There was a note, one we found with Zack. It… it was blank at first, but then the words formed right there in front of me." She didn't tell him what they'd said. "It was in Aerith's handwriting." He glanced back at her, face empty. But at least he was paying attention. "And then the letter disintegrated into pieces of the lifestream, right there in the kitchen. And left behind was… was Aerith's ribbon."

"Where is it?" Cloud asked sternly, as if he wanted proof right then and there.

"Zack has it," Tifa verified and he glanced away again, to the window, his lips pursed. "He said he was the one that bought it for her originally so…" She shook her head, the detail irrelevant. "In any case, Tseng and I… we decided that she was the one responsible. That… that she brought him back…"

He didn't say anything then, just continued to stare out at the clouds. At the rooftops of Edge. He'd have to consider her words, she knew that. Asking him to accept them was a hard thing to do, especially since it all seemed so impossible. But it was what it was and he'd have to face that eventually. She wouldn't force him however.

"Just think about what I've said, okay?" she continued quietly. "I told Zack he could stay here," he flinched then, his eyes darting to the bed. "He doesn't have anywhere else to go and I think… I think this whole thing freaks him out too, even if he doesn't act like it."

"Zack never let anything bother him…" Cloud murmured, Tifa smiling gently.

"I told him that, maybe once you two had met, you could give him a job." Cloud's eyes flicked to the window again. "I mean, if he's going to be here, then why not make use of him?"

She didn't get a response.

"Think it over, alright?" Still nothing and, withholding a sigh, she sat on the bed for a few moments longer before standing. Staring down at him for a few more seconds, she then turned and retreated to the door. Pulling it open as quietly as she could, she slipped back out into the hall.

Cloud heard the door close behind her, but he didn't acknowledge it. Instead, he remained focused on the window, on the rain as it slowly started to drop from the sky.

**oOo**

"How'd he take it?" Barret asked gruffly, standing beside Tifa as she cleaned the dishes from breakfast. He'd had Marlene and Denzel for the last day and a half or so, as Tifa had instructed, and was back to drop Denzel off with the hope of finding out what had happened. He hadn't even met this Zack character, but Tifa had explained the situation and he remembered hearing about Cloud's SOLDIER friend back during the war.

"Well, I suppose it could have been worse," she replied, her hands submerged in the soapsuds in the sink. "That isn't to say it went well. Because it didn't. He hasn't even come out of his room since yesterday, though he could just be sleeping it off." Barret nodded, totally serious, and Tifa found herself rather tired of worrying over Cloud.

"How are things going between you and Rufus?" She knew her question was going to rub Barret the wrong way, but it'd be a good distraction from everything that had transpired in her household. Sometimes she felt as though she was taking care of a dozen children as opposed to one. Two on occasion.

"Gah, that fuckin' guy!" Barret swore, his eyes turning into a glare. "I don' even know why I agreed to work with him in-a first place." He was shaking his head, disgusted, and Tifa smiled to herself. "Thinks he's fuckin' in charge, tryin'-a boss people around. Shit, aint no good."

"It's a good place for _him_, you know that," Tifa defended. "He knows just as well as we do that we brought the idea to his attention so we could keep an eye on him. I'm just thankful he's got something to distract him. Something good for him to use his talents for."

"Yeah, well, jus' so long as nobody finds out," Barret replied with a huff. "Can't get no trust if people knew I had Rufus Shinra workin' for me. Can't believe I let you all talk me in-ta takin' him on. Buncha bullshit."

Tifa cast him a skeptical brow. "Yes, because it must be _so_ strenuous dealing with him. I only have a house full of Turks, Cloud, and now an ex-SOLDIER to deal with." Getting her message, Barret cast her an apologetic eye, seeing her point. "Is Vincent still working with you too?"

"Yeah," Barret nodded. "Got him watchin' Rufus while I'm back here. Don' trust Shinra Jr. one bit, 'specially without me there. Probably try-ta take the place over or something." Vincent had signed up to work with Barret, mostly as a messenger from one place to another. After the whole Chaos and Omega thing had gone down, he'd decided to try his hand at regular life again. None of them had seen him since however, only Barret.

"How's he doing?"

"Oh fine," Barret shrugged. "Still quiet, though he's been wearin' a suit lately, like them damn Turks."

"You can't fault him for wanting to look good on the job."

"No, 'spose not," Barret sighed. "He still's got that red cloak though, never leaves without it. And I notice he keeps sendin' letters out with Rude. You know where they're goin'?" Tifa shrugged. "I thought maybe he was sendin' to you guys, though I dunno why he wouldn't jus' call."

"We haven't gotten anything from him," Tifa verified. "I haven't even gotten a call from him in over six months. Or Yuffie for that matter. Cid calls regularly, but every time I've tried to contact Yuffie, the call hasn't gone through. Like she's somewhere out of service." Barret raised a skeptical brow, but didn't comment. He'd never held much love for the ninja. "And I know how Vincent is. He won't appreciate courtesy calls."

"Probably not."

"Though I am a little concerned about Yuffie. She's still so young and-"

"You shouldn't worry so much Tifa," they both turned their attention to the man that had just strolled in. "You're not everyone's mother." He was smiling, his shaggy black hair framing his face above his thinly styled facial hair.

"Reeve!" Tifa smiled. "I didn't know you'd be back this soon. How did everything go?" Dropping her dishes into the sink, she dried her hands on a towel as Reeve set his suitcase down on the table. Trailing behind him, bouncy as ever, was Cait Sith.

"Good actually, better than I expected," he explained as both Barret and Tifa joined him around the kitchen table. "Dio was very interested in doing business with Strife Delivery, especially concerning his newsletters. Generally they only go out to the Gold Saucer employees, but he's been down on commerce since Shinra went under and needs to attract more tourists. I explained that in today's economy, such a thing was highly unlikely, but he understands that. Next time I go out there for negotiations, he's going to have the first batch printed and ready to go. Wants us to drop them in every town we do deliveries with. He's paying us extra to do it, almost like a sponsor."

"That's great!" Tifa clapped her hands together in excitement. Reeve was in charge of advertising and marketing for Strife Delivery Service (as well as one of the heads of the WRO along with Barret). He'd seen Cloud's informal, poorly made flier once before and insisted that he be allowed to help. He'd been happy in the position ever since. It didn't pay much, Cloud couldn't afford to pay anyone much, but it was better than nothing, which was what most Shinra employees had been blessed with after the war. Some of them, when Rufus had officially declared the closing of Shinra after the second encounter with Sephiroth, had been able to start work under Barret instead, but even as the world's largest supplier of ulterior energies, he wasn't at the same level Shinra had been. He couldn't afford to give everyone a job.

There was a bonus to working for Cloud however. Tifa fed all his employees.

"It helps that Dio remembers Cloud and everything he did at the Gold Saucer, personally, back then," Reeve continued. "He wants to start doing his deliveries through us starting next month. He used to have his employees do it for him, but they can't go from one continent to another.

"I am a little concerned about the workload however," Reeve furrowed his eyebrows. "The Gold Saucer is a big client to serve. We're already tight as it is. I think Cloud is going to have to hire again, but he'll have to get people with… cross-country experience." Which was actually something rather difficult to come by. Strife Delivery Service may have sounded like it might be an easy gig, but it required that all its employees know how to travel, be able to operate technical vehicles, and not shy away from potentially hazardous conditions. Be that weather or monsters. There had been a serious decline of the beasts since Shinra had fallen apart, but they still festered in some places, especially rural areas where there weren't people like Cloud, the Turks, or the WRO to take care of them.

"Well, we might already have another candidate," Tifa replied. "If Cloud goes along with the idea anyway." Reeve raised his eyebrows questioningly. It was hard to come by skilled applicants. Most weren't up to the task (there was a reason many of Shinra's elite had taken the positions).

"Who?" Reeve crossed his arms over his navy suit.

"Me."

Turning, they all watched as Zack entered the room.

"Zack Fair…" Reeve marveled, his jaw gaping. "I thought you were dead."

"I was," Zack shrugged, his response earning him a skeptical brow from Reeve. "It's a long story."

"It'd have to be," Reeve agreed. "But no matter the details," he smiled, turning to Tifa, "this is great! He's exactly the kind of person we need. I mean, he was a 1st class SOLDIER for crying out loud. Can't do much better than that." Zack was grinning quite well over the praise.

"So long as we can get Cloud to agree to it," Tifa replied, her tone sounding almost as if it were a warning.

"Well why shouldn't he?" Reeve asked, incredulous.

"It all has to do with that long story," Tifa replied and Reeve furrowed his brow curiously. "Well, to start from the beginning, Cl-"

"Reeve's here!" Marlene came running in from the back door, where her and Denzel had been playing in the backyard. "Hi Reeve!" she came right up to the older man, smiling happily. "Is it okay if I take Cait Sith out to play with me?" This was generally her first question upon seeing their head of marketing.

"Now see here lassie," Cait Sith interjected. "I'm not that kinda toy now, wasn't made to be playing with little girls." Marlene wasn't at all fazed by the cat's reprimand, knowing full well how this conversation was going to end.

"Of course you can," Reeve assured with a smile. Honestly, he enjoyed working for Cloud much more than he had Shinra. Everything, from his duties to Marlene, was so much… happier. "He'd be glad to go."

"I knew that one was comin,'" Cait Sith muttered and, with a heavy sigh, marched his way over to Marlene.

"Thank you Reeve!" Marlene was grinning from ear to ear as she picked Cait Sith up by his middle and dashed back outside with him. On her way however, she nearly ran over Denzel, who was, at a far slower pace, making his way inside after her. He watched her as she darted back into the sunlight, but didn't follow, intent on his destination.

"Tifa?" he walked up to the group in his typically shy demeanor, his blue eyes staring up at them from beneath his shaggy bangs. "Is my dad up yet?" Tifa, upon hearing the boy's question, frowned. Zack, on the other hand, hearing Cloud referred so, remained silently questioning.

"No honey, he's still asleep," Denzel sighed, his stare falling to the floor. "Why don't you go back outside and play with Marlene and I'll come get you as soon as he wakes up, okay?" Slowly nodding, he didn't say a word as he turned back and headed out the way he'd come, unaware of the pair of mako eyes that trailed him.

"Does someone mind explaining that to me?" Zack started before Tifa could get back to her discussion with Reeve. "How did Cloud end up with a kid?" It just seemed so out of character for the blonde. Especially now that Zack had met up with him again. He wasn't exactly father of the year material.

"Denzel?" Tifa raised her eyebrows. "Cloud found him outside Aerith's church about two or so years ago. We adopted him, but he's very attached to Cloud. About a year ago, he asked him if he could call him dad and has been ever since."

"I don' think I'd ever seen Cloud so pleased," Barret added. "Funny what kinds of things kids'll do to-a grown man." He spoke from experience. "Formed a real soft spot for the boy, that's for damn sure." Zack nodded, silently "ohing" in understand. "I'm Barret, by the way," he held his hand out to the ex-SOLDIER.

"Zack Fair," Zack smiled, the two shaking hands before being interrupted by the sound of Reeve clearing his throat. He'd been in the middle of an important conversation before being intruded upon by the children, and now the newest addition to the house. Yet before Tifa could start again, they were walked in on once more.

"I just got the pick-up and delivery list done for next week," Tseng stated, completely unaware of Tifa's exasperated sigh. "Is Cloud up yet?"

"Uh, I don't-"

"I'm up," his velvety voice, though soft, silenced everyone, Tifa clamping her mouth shut after being interrupted yet again. A good portion of the room tensed, Zack feeling his heart race with nerves. Cloud had just walked in, dressed in only his sweater-tank and black pants. Black socks too.

Everyone was aware of the situation between Zack and Cloud. That was, except for Reeve.

"Cloud, great news!" he exclaimed. "I landed the contract with the Gold Saucer." His somewhat ignorant breaking of the silence drew Cloud's attention, who'd previously been look to Tseng. "If you and Tseng don't mind, I'd like to speak to you both about it. I have all the plans made up, but, as always, I want you to look them over." Reaching for his suitcase, he popped it open.

Tseng, glancing around only quickly, took to Reeve's example.

"I have the list done for this week," he explained, Cloud glancing back to him. "We need to put the schedule together. I don't know if you remember, but Elena asked for time off next week to go see her father," he handed Cloud the list, who took it willingly and began to scrutinize the work. "We're going to have to double down on some shifts to cover her, but it shouldn't be impossible."

"Here's the contract I put together," Reeve came up on Cloud's other side, a stapled stack of papers pulled out and placed in Cloud's other hand. The blonde then changed his focus once again. "Unfortunately, Dio did bring me down on the price some," Cloud glanced up at Reeve questioningly, "but I made another deal that should make up for it. Besides, with the number of packages he's going to have going in and out, we should still profit."

"Reno also asked for a three day weekend," Tseng added, Cloud turning to look at him once more, "but I don't think its necessary to give him that right now with Elena leaving. He'll just have to deal with it for a little while longer."

"Now, there was a small issue concerning pick-up," Reeve flipped over some of the pages to his contract so Cloud could get a better look, which he was. "Normally we pick-up and deliver based on supply and demand, but Dio wants a single day where all the mail goes out."

"Besides, we both know that when Reno takes time off, he's going to make Rude take it with him," Tseng rolled his eyes. "And we can't have you alone trying to handle everything. That's impossible."

"The only issue with that is the fact that we're going to have to be the ones to sort it," Cloud cast Reeve a questioning look once again. "But, not to worry, I also added a charge for that," he flipped another page, "right… here. So we'll need some ground work done, but it's being paid for."

"Now, as far as your shifts, I know you usually take the local ones, but most of the pick-ups for this week are outer-continental, so you might have to man a chopper."

"He wants to start next month, but I have another meeting with him two weeks from tomorrow, so once you look over the contract, we can make final changes and I'll do the concluding negotiations then."

"Unfortunately, Reno reported that one of the choppers is having some issues and, as you know, there aren't a whole lot of helicopter specialists around anymore. I have Cid coming to look at it, but he said it'll be a few days before he can get here."

"Of course, my main concern is the workload. The Gold Saucer is going to be one of our biggest contracts and I'm afraid that, with us sorting as well, we're not going to have enough manpower."

"But even if both choppers were fully functional, we're going to be running tight without Elena."

"I did the calculations and, once this job gets off the ground, we should have enough profit to hire in two more employees."

"I don't think it's possible to give anyone a day off this week."

"Though I hear there's already a candidate worthy of hiring?"

"Unless, of course, you send me out as well, which is fine, but someone will have to watch the phone twenty-four-seven."

"I mean, he's totally qualified and I think it'd benefit everyone."

"I don't think Reno will take very well to no breaks."

"If we start training him now, then that will be a load off when we get the contract."

"So do you want to send me out as well?"

"Are you going to hire him?"

"Well, what do you think?" they both asked at the same time, the room finally falling silent. Cloud, taking a deep breath, glanced back down at the two documents held in his hands, pursing his lips as he considered everything he'd just heard.

It was all business.

"With Elena taking a few days off, we can't afford to start training anyone. It'll take too much time. But save back the money taken out of her wage. Let Reno and Rude take a few days next week and save back what they aren't getting paid as well. I know Cid doesn't usually ask to be paid, but we always do anyway, so this time put his payment on standby until after the Gold Saucer contract is underway. Go ahead and hire, but don't start him until two weeks from now and we'll use what we saved back to pay him. Tseng, you're going to have go out a few days, but only when no one else can cover your shift. It shouldn't be too much. And while you're gone, I'll have all calls temporarily transferred to my phone so I can take care of it. Reeve, go ahead and put up an ad for one more potential employee and we'll start interviews as soon as the Gold Saucer contract is finalized." He said it all without allowing his voice to fluctuate a single note.

"Dad, you're awake!" Denzel came bursting through the door, a wide smile spread across his face as he ran to Cloud. Catching his son in an embrace, the blonde held him for only a moment before picking him up and balancing him on his hip, Denzel reaching up and wrapping his arms around Cloud's neck. "I was waiting for you."

"We need to get the schedule done Cloud."

"The contract needs to be finalized."

"Are you working?" Denzel asked innocently, a frown creasing his face.

"Yes," Cloud verified easily, glancing only quickly at his son before going back to the documents he was still managing to hold even with a child in his arms.

"Oh," Denzel seemed downcast. "Can I… can I help?"

"Of course," Cloud decided, his tone still the same as he turned away from the table and headed back out of the room. Tseng and Reeve followed, each of them chattering in Cloud's ears.

And as the door closed behind them, the room finally fell silent.

"Typical morning, huh?" Barret asked with a sly smile, Tifa rolling her eyes, though she couldn't hold back her own amusement either. It was hectic sometimes, yes, but she enjoyed the fast paced atmosphere. It meant that things were going as normal, that no one was stopping to worry.

Yet, even as this thought ran through her head, she noticed that there was one particularly tall individual that had come to a complete halt. He stood at the table, his eyes downcast, his previous smile having vanished some time before.

"He completely ignored me," Zack murmured. "He didn't so much as look at me." He shook his head, helpless. "He didn't even say my _name_." Hurt coated his words, causing both Tifa and Barret to lower their previously humored attitudes. "It was like I didn't even exist, like I was just… business…" A convenient employment opportunity for Strife Delivery Service.

"Give him time," Tifa tried to comfort, but knew that she'd said the same thing before and that, whether it was the truth or not, it wasn't going to make him feel any better. "He just can't face you right now, that's all. He _will_ come around, I know it."

"At least yesterday he would look at me," Zack pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sat down. "But today… it was like I wasn't even in the room." He didn't like feeling like this, so upset. Generally, he tried to be an optimistic, happy-go-lucky type. But Cloud…

"I… I'll try and talk to him again Zack," Tifa decided as she sat down beside him. "But you have to understand that things aren't going to be like they used to be between you two. You have to… get to know him again, make him feel comfortable around you. Patience." Zack scoffed. He'd never been graced with an abundant amount of said virtue. "Everything with Cloud requires patience."

"I don't feel like I know him at all… anymore…" The display a few moments before had been proof enough of that. Cloud had a life completely void of his existence. And it was a complicated life to boot. "It's like my Cloud is just… gone." What if he didn't have time for Zack, for the complications he caused? Because that was what he was, wasn't it? A huge complication.

"I don't know if he is or not," Tifa replied softly. "I don't know what your Cloud was like, but if he is still there, then maybe you just have to dig him out. You just…" she sighed. "I know you're hurting, but he is too. And by ignoring you, he's trying to spare himself that pain. Especially in front of everyone. Trust me."

"How am I supposed to… know him again if he won't even acknowledge that I exist?"

"You have to have patience Zack, that's all I-"

"I don't want to have patience!" he stated somewhat childishly as he bolted up and out of his chair. Shaking his head, he growled once before, hands flexing in and out of fists at his sides, stalking from the kitchen and to the guest room Tifa had showed him to the night before.

She sighed.

"I can't really blame him," Barret stated. "I mean, it's not like he don't stand out in-a room, tall as he is, but Cloud didn't even look his way. It's got to be pretty shitty, feelin' like someone that important to ya don't even care that you're there."

"I know," Tifa shook her head. "But I don't know what to tell him? I can't make Cloud act differently. He has to go at his own pace."

"I got the feelin' that Cloud was the anchor in their relationship," Barret commented.

"Me too. And Zack's tied to him no matter what he does."

"That's a fine way-ta put it."

**oOo**

"When do you head out next?" Tifa asked as she leaned against doorframe. She'd actually come to tell Cloud that dinner was ready, but based on the way he was leaning over his desk, he probably wouldn't be down for some time yet.

Lying on his bed, face buried in the pillows, was Denzel. No doubt exhausted after a day assisting his father with the technical intricacies of running a business.

"Tomorrow," he replied without even looking up at her. He didn't have to in order to know she was staring at him disapprovingly.

"You've had one day home from the road," she stated, irritated, "and you spent the entirety of that working. That hardly counts." She didn't get an immediate response. "I know you spent the whole day with Denzel, but I doubt his idea of fun is working with you all day, even if he doesn't say anything."

"What do you want me to do?" Cloud asked coldly. "Elena is taking a few days off at the end of the week so we need to get as much done while she's here as we can. I can't afford to stay right now." He still refused to look at her, bent over his desk writing something.

"And I suppose that you'll be working all next week as well, when you give Reno and Rude time off?" she asked, her eyebrows rising knowingly. "You know, you give all your employees time off, but never yourself. If they can afford some three days leave, then certainly you can."

"Well, not right now," was all he said, Tifa sighing in exasperation. She couldn't even remember the last day Cloud had been home and hadn't lifted a finger towards work. She understood being disciplined, but didn't he know how to have any fun?

Maybe Zack had been the one that had influenced his life in that manner.

"You can't avoid him forever," she stated, knowing that Cloud was a workaholic whether Zack was there or not, but supposing that the ex-SOLDIER had something to do with his willingness to indulge at the current moment. "Especially now that you've decided to hire him."

She didn't get a response.

"And you're definitely going to have to start saying his name," she continued. "Whether you want to know him on a personal level or not, you can't single him out as an employee. He deserves to be treated just like everyone else." Perhaps a working relationship between the two was a start.

"He hasn't been hired yet," Cloud rebuked, his tone ever even. "He still has two weeks." As if that was a viable excuse.

"Oh come on Cloud," Tifa scolded as she came further into the room, standing behind him as she crossed her arms under her breasts. "You didn't even look at him today, don't think no one noticed, and when you were talking about hiring him, you couldn't even say his name. As far as I can tell, that's a professional issue that was quite inappropriate."

"I was busy, I could hardly think outside what Reeve and Tseng were telling me."

"You could have said his name when you referenced hiring him Cloud. There's no excuse for that."

Silence.

Sighing, Tifa walked her way over to the bed. Sitting down on the end, she made sure not to disturb Denzel as she did. But seeing as the kid slept like a rock, she wasn't terribly worried about it.

"I know this is hard for you," she started quietly. "But it's hard for him too. The least you could do is acknowledge him on a professional level, so that he at least knows you know he exists." Honestly, she was getting quite tired of playing the go-between for the two of them, and it'd only been two days.

"I know he exists…" Cloud muttered.

"Well he needs to know that," Tifa replied simply. "I don't know him that well, but he seems like the type that needs attention to verify himself in people's lives. You went through a lot when he died," a bit of an understatement, "but consider what he's going through right now. Last he'd known, you two had been… whatever you'd been. And now you're totally ignoring him. It's a little bit more than a slap in the face."

"I can't handle him right now Tifa," he stated, finally dropping his pen as he leaned back in his chair. "It's just too much. You don't know what it's like…"

"What it's like?" his statement had spiked her irritation. "Maybe not, but I don't count that as a blessing. If someone I loved suddenly came back from the dead, my mother or father, or Aerith, I can tell you I wouldn't be sulking in my room, or ignoring them. Don't you understand the chance you've been given? Your best friend came back and all you can do-"

"Is see the day he died every time I look at him?" Cloud interrupted as he turned in his chair to catch her stare. "No, you don't understand Tifa. I spent a good chunk of three years blaming myself for both his and Aerith's death. And now that I've finally come to accept what happened, he shows up? What does that even mean?!" he shook his head. "It's like he's some ghost that came back to remind me everyday of how I failed. How I was too weak to save him myself.

"How can I face him…?" Cloud's eyes were downcast, a deep breath heaving his whole body as he sighed, shoulders dropping. "Looking at him, talking to him… it scares me Tifa." Slowly, he pulled his head back up, his glowing blue eyes confused, which caused his companion to frown. "What if it happens again, and I can't do anything? I don't think… I don't think I could live with that…"

"Cloud…" Tifa pursed her lips, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. "I thought you'd realized that none of what happened was your fault? That you'd forgiven yourself? You can't keep living with those weights on your shoulders." He'd die from the sheer stress of it.

"I thought I had," he replied. "I thought I'd moved on, but seeing him now…" It was forcing him to relive all that pain and suffering he'd thought he could forget. But if he ignored Zack, if he just pretended he wasn't there, then he didn't have to go through it at all. Things could be normal again.

"You need to look at this in a more positive light," Tifa tried to explain as she bent forward and took his hands in her own, one of which was covered in a bandage from his accident the day before. "I know that what happened was… traumatic for you, but you don't have to feel that anymore. He's back. He's here, right now. If you just… let that pain go, then maybe you could see that."

Cloud was shaking his head. They both knew it wasn't that easy, not for him. Not for someone whose mind worked the way his did. After everything he'd seen, done, failed to do… it'd take time. And perhaps more effort than he was ready to put forth.

"Then if you can't do it for you, do it for him," Tifa continued, hoping that one way or another, she could get her point across. "The way you're treating him now is causing _him_ more pain than any death, any failure of yours, he ever had to go through. Maybe you've had time to move forward, but he hasn't. Every time you fail to acknowledge him, you're breaking his heart. You're everything to him Cloud. His last memories are of trying to save _you_.

"And just because you can't see the benefits of this situation, you're hurting not just yourself, but Zack as well. Don't… don't do this to yourself Cloud. Don't torture yourself. You have too many people that love you to do that and it hurts all of us too, seeing you like this.

"Give him a chance. Maybe you'll find it's not as painful as your fears are leading you to believe."

Cloud didn't have a reply to her speech, his eyes once again falling to the floor. She hoped he was at least considering what she had to say. She didn't know how much more reason she could dig up between the two men. If what she said now didn't do something, then she wasn't sure anything she had to say would.

Even _with_ her words however, it wouldn't be an automatic fix.

Squeezing his hands for a moment, a comforting gesture, she then released him before standing. He didn't watch her as she stared down at him, as she turned and silently headed out the door.

And neither of them saw the little boy burrow his face further into the pillows, his blue eyes blinking beneath a worried brow.

* * *

**A/N:** I always imagined Denzel younger than he is, apparently, so he's about seven in this fic. Seven or eight, maybe nine, I dunno. But in cannon I guess he's about eleven or twelve by this point? Either way, I feel like that's too old for him to have grown a real attachment to Cloud, so he's younger, lol.

Anyway, so Cloud is being depressed and everyone else is frustrated. I think we've finally got a pretty good idea of the setting and what's going on in the world, so hopefully we can start getting to the meat of the matter. FFVII has so many facets to it however that I couldn't get everything set up in just one chapter. But now hopefully things are more good to go.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed and thank you for your support from the previous chapter. Please let me know what you think of this one as well and I love you all!

R&R PLEASE! THANK YOU! 


	3. Chapter 3: The Power of Fear

**In a Bed of Flowers**

_Chapter 3: The Power of Fear_

Sitting up, Zack closed his eyes tight as he stretched his arms over his head. Yawning, he shook out the night's sleep before heaving a great sigh and allowing his arms to collapse in his lap. Blinking, he took in how the morning sun was shining through the windows, casting a foggy light throughout the room. The signs of a sunny day were on the horizon and Zack, despite how horribly the last few days had gone, forced himself to have a positive outlook.

He'd tried to think the same way every morning since waking up outside Edge, and so far not one of his days had ended quite as well. But still, he put forth the effort to be optimistic. Today was going to be better than the last, he'd make sure of it.

Shooting into standing, he slapped the rest of the sleep off his face, literally, before heading over to the bench sitting on the other side of the room. The guest quarters were pretty nice, at least as nice as could be expected. Like the rest of the house, the walls consisted of the metal skeleton that made up the outside as well, bolts and supports visible. But the bed, though a little small for him, was comfy and he had a three-drawer dresser beside the bench.

Picking up his SOLDIER uniform from where he'd left it the night before, he stared down at it and tried not to frown. He couldn't help but think that the outfit was a little outdated now, even inappropriate, but no one in the house was even close to being as tall as he was, so he was stuck wearing it until his first paycheck. After all, Tifa and Cloud were housing him for free at the moment, and feeding him to boot. He couldn't very well ask for clothes either.

Shrugging, he started to slip the dark jumpsuit on over his boxers, leaving the shoulder plates and leather extras on the floor as he had the day before. Finishing off the ensemble with his black socks, he glanced quickly at himself in a small mirror hanging on the wall, to make sure his hair was laying back as it should, before heading out the door.

Zack had always been a bit of an early riser, so he wasn't surprised that as he headed out towards the kitchen, no one else seemed to be about. He wasn't that hungry, so as he entered the kitchen, he glanced around for only a moment before deciding it might be inappropriate to scavenge for himself. It would appear that the general rule was that Tifa made the meals and he didn't want to intrude on their system.

He did notice a rather large pile of dishes stacked up in the sink however, many of them glasses that he'd seen sitting out in the bar. He knew that Tifa's 7th Heaven opened every night at seven, so he could only assume that these were the remains of her prior evening.

He didn't know how she did it, working all night and then getting up to take care of whoever happened to be home. But, then again, he'd noticed that most people living under the Strife roof worked rather diligently at more than perhaps he would have expected. No one in the current day and age had time to be lazy, not if they wanted to make money.

Yet there he was, stuck with nothing to do.

Heading towards the sink, he decided to take it upon himself to do the dishes for Tifa. After everything she'd done, it was the least he could do. Maybe he'd make a habit of it, helping out around the house until his own work got started.

Pulling out the pile of dishes that had been set in the sink, he then started to fill it, spraying soap in the bottom before dumping some of the glasses inside. Thankful there was already a relatively clean dishtowel there (he wouldn't know where to find them), he started to rub the glasses clean.

It didn't take long for the water to fill, the bubbles rising, and once that was done, the room remained silent aside from the occasional squeaking the rag made against the glasses. But it was something to do, so he couldn't complain.

Yet after some fifteen minutes of silence, it was easy for him to pick up on new noises. Furrowing his eyebrows, he raised his head, curious as to the new sound that was drifting through from another room in the house. It was almost like a thumping, an irregular heartbeat that bounced off the walls.

Allowing the glass he'd been scrubbing to drift back into the sink, he rubbed the suds from his hands on a dry towel before letting his curiosity get the better of him. Leaving the kitchen, he allowed his sensitive ears to carry him down the hall towards the back of the house. As a rule of courtesy, he'd avoided wandering around aimlessly, not wanting to be taken for snooping, so he wasn't exactly familiar with the layout of the building. But near the end of the corridor, to the right, was a doorway that had been opened. Peeking around, he saw that there were some metal stairs, only a few, that lead down into another room.

Here, with no walls for buffers, the sound was even louder, the clinking of chains also apparent. Quietly, Zack stepped down two of the stairs before crouching, giving him a full view of the underground room.

It wasn't a large basement, if it could even be classified as such. It didn't go underground enough to even stop the advancements of windows, but still, he didn't know with what other term to describe it. The sun shone in through the glass, giving him a clear view.

It was Cloud, much to Zack's tensing unease. He had wrapped his fists in cloth and was hammering away, quite fiercely, at a punching bag suspended by chains from the ceiling support. Clad in only a pair of leather cargo shorts, his toes were balancing him atop the concrete floor, his bare chest breathing steady yet hard as he slammed away. Sweat coated his skin, glistening in the early morning light.

For a moment, jaw slack, Zack found himself gawking. Cloud really was in magnificent shape. His muscles were taught beneath his flesh, twisting with each move he made and tensing with every hit. And the punching bag was quite the victim, flying back a great deal during the whole exercise. When considering the runt he'd once been, it was difficult to comprehend that this was the same guy. Never would Zack have imagined that Cloud could have so much leanly built muscle definition. He wasn't necessarily buff, but strong nonetheless. Zack supposed, however, that had it not been for his own mako injections once upon a time, he wouldn't be nearly as impressive as he was either.

Cloud had suffered mako poisoning as well as JENOVA cell injections, and lived through it. No doubt he was now privy to the same advantages Zack was.

A SOLDIER through and through it would seem.

So focused on Cloud, on the way his muscles flexed across his six-pack, Zack didn't even noticed the small child that had come in through a door on the other side of the room until his presence sent Cloud to a halt. Denzel, still dressed in a t-shirt and pajama shorts, said something to his father, but Zack couldn't make it out, not at his distance.

Cloud then ruffled the kid's hair, causing Denzel to laugh before raising his fists in the air. Mock flexing, he displayed his guns for Cloud to see, as if he had something to show off, before punching the bag himself. It barely moved and the two started speaking in low tones once again.

Pursing his lips, Zack diverted his gaze, suddenly feeling as if he were intruding. Careful not to make a sound, he backed up the few stairs and into the hall once again. It was so strange to him, seeing Cloud so… attached to a kid. The last time he'd seen the blonde, that was, before he'd come to Edge, he'd thought of him as no better than a kid himself. Yet now, here he was. With a family, a business. A life so rich and vast that Zack's own history seemed minuscule in comparison.

Walking back into the kitchen, his thoughts started to drift back to his own parents, but before he could get that far, he was surprised to notice that he wasn't alone.

"Well good morning," Tifa said, rather chipper for someone who was up until four in the morning working a bar on a regular basis. "Have you been up long?" She was standing by the sink, her eyebrows raised in a knowing fashion.

Zack sighed. "I felt bad," he explained, gesturing to the dishes. "You've been taking care of me for free this whole time and I haven't been able to do anything in return. I know it's not much, but…" He shrugged.

"Ah, I see," she replied with a smile. "I appreciate the gesture, though it won't be long until you're working too, so don't stress about it too much." Her reassurance really didn't make him feel any better.

"I'm used to working for everything I get," he explained as he joined her beside the counter and submerged his hands in the sink once again, picking up where he'd left off. "I'm more than happy to help around the house," he glanced up at her, "if you want." He knew the offer wasn't much, but he didn't know what else he could possibly do. Being in SOLDIER, he'd always been busy. This sitting around, waiting business was rather foreign to him.

"Well, I'm not sure what there is to do really," Tifa replied as she grabbed a new towel from a drawer and started to dry the glasses. "Though if I think of anything, I'll be sure to let you know." Abruptly, she stood straighter, as if alert. "Actually, I might have something you can do," she glanced up at him with a smile and he raised his eyebrows expectantly. "I have to go run some errands later and pick up some groceries. But Cloud will be gone already. If you could, I'd appreciate it if you'd watch Denzel. He hates coming shopping with me."

"Oh…" Zack turned back to the dishes. "I mean… I guess I can do that." He didn't have a whole lot of experience with kids, but he supposed that Denzel was old enough that it wouldn't be too difficult.

"Do what?" Turning, both the adults glanced down to see that Denzel had come back from his time with Cloud. He was alone however, so the blonde must still be busy. He was staring up at the two of them suspiciously, hinting that he'd heard his name mentioned but knew not the context.

"Zack's going to watch you when I go out later," Tifa replied simply as she turned back to the dishes. Denzel glanced up at the tall SOLDIER then, his face contorted into something akin to rebellious disgust. Zack, offended by the look, frowned.

"Why can't I go with you?" Denzel asked, turning his attention back to Tifa.

"Because all you do when I go out is complain, so now you can stay home," she explained simply, not even bothering to look back at the young boy. And by the somewhat defeated look that crossed Denzel's face, Zack could only assume that what she'd said was true and the kid knew it. "I expect you to be on your best behavior and-"

Tifa was interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. It wasn't the same one that Zack had heard from inside Tseng's office all day, so he could only assume, based on the way that Tifa dried her hands and headed out of the kitchen, that it was a home phone he'd failed to locate as of yet.

Door clicking closed behind her, the two left behind remained silent, Denzel staring at Zack with that expression of revulsion once again.

Zack crossed his arms over his chest. "You don't like me very much, do you?" he deduced, though it wasn't hard to come to such a conclusion. Denzel wasn't exactly covering up his feelings.

"No," he admitted easily, his own arms crossing over his chest, mimicking the older man towering over him. He wasn't at all intimidated, apparently totally unfazed by Zack's bigger size and muscled exterior. But then again, why should he be? He was Cloud Strife's son, a man that would probably kill to protect him.

From anyone.

"Do you mind telling me why?" Zack asked curiously, trying not to get too annoyed with Denzel's attitude. He was, after all, just a kid, so Zack needed to understand that his maturity wasn't exactly topnotch. But then again, neither was his.

"Because my dad doesn't like you," he explained, Zack raising his eyebrows questioningly. Yes, Cloud was, well, ignoring him currently, but he hadn't realized that it'd been that obvious to even Denzel. Unless of course this kid knew something he didn't.

"How do you know?" he asked somewhat immaturely.

"Because I heard him and Tifa talking about you," he replied, Zack suddenly very curious to hear what the kid had heard. So Cloud had at least talked about him to someone? That was more comforting than being totally ignored he supposed. "He said that… that he didn't want to even look at you," Denzel stated, Zack flinching slightly at the words. "That you… you scare him. And I hate anyone who scares my dad!" his speech had suddenly sped up. "My dad isn't afraid of anything and if he's scared of you, then you must be a really bad person! So I hate you!"

"He said that?" Zack asked quietly, completely ignoring the last bit of Denzel's explanation. "He's actually…" Cloud was scared of him. To look at him, to talk to him. To _acknowledge_ him. But why? "Did he say why?" Zack asked, turning his attention to the kid once again.

"I don't know," Denzel replied. "I only heard part of what they were saying." He paused, as if considering whether he should tell Zack or not. "He said that… that every time he looks at you, it reminds him of something bad. You make him feel bad." Denzel looked away then, perhaps considering the fact that even though he'd overheard the conversation, he wasn't knowledgeable enough about Cloud's past to understand it.

Zack, however, despite Denzel's vague words, knew exactly what the child was talking about. So it would seem that the reason Cloud couldn't look at him, or talk to him, was because when he did, all he was reminded of was that day, five years ago, on that cliff outside Edge. To Zack, it didn't seem that bad, but he'd been the one dying. He'd been the one at peace despite the fact that leaving Cloud was the last thing he ever wanted to do. But Cloud… _his_ best friend and lover had been ripped from him in the most confusing, brutal way and time in his life. Zack could imagine that thinking of such a day would be… trying, for lack of a better term.

"And I don't want you to watch me," Denzel continued. "I don't want anything to do with you. Not if my dad doesn't, not if you scare him." He was taking great offense to the fact that Zack could apparently strike fear into Cloud. His father was his idol, the strongest, bravest person he knew. That some strange man would come in and disrupt that was highly disturbing to him.

"Your dad scares me too kid," Zack replied as he turned back to the dishes, his tone soft. "He was my best friend once," he continued, talking more so to himself than Denzel. "We fought together, ran together, did everything together." He was shaking his head, Denzel staring at his back curiously. "And then I had to make the stupid decision to leave. And now Cloud won't even look at me…"

"You did something worse than that," Denzel accused, apparently thinking Zack's explanation a lie. "You must have done something a _lot_ worse to make my dad afraid of you." Because as far as he could tell, his father wasn't even afraid of Sephiroth, and he'd tried to destroy the world. Whatever Zack was guilty of must have been much worse.

Zack laughed bitterly. "Leaving was the worst thing I could have done to Cloud," he explained, voice still soft as he turned to look down at Denzel over his shoulder. "Someday, you'll understand why. But you're too young now."

"I am not," Denzel rebuked stubbornly. It wasn't that he was giving Zack attitude, but his voice was firm in his determination. "I'm old enough to understand anything, if someone just explai-"

"Don't harass him Denzel." Zack had expected that, were they to be interrupted, it'd be by Tifa coming back in the room. He was surprised, then, when both he and Denzel turned to see Cloud walking through the door, dressed in his usual black and looking ready to leave. "What goes on between Zack and I," he explained coldly, walking up to his son, "is none of your concern." He ruffled the child's hair, Denzel frowning further at what his father had to say.

Zack was too shocked to comment on anything however, eyes wide as he stared at the blonde. No, Cloud hadn't looked at him yet, but he'd said his name, and was standing with only some five feet between them. Compared to the days previous, it was a huge change. And to Zack, he counted it an improvement.

Denzel, however, was becoming less and less happy by the second. There he'd been, trying to defend his father, and the very man had come in and scolded him for it, kind of.

"I thought you didn't li-"

"Enough Denzel," Cloud, his tone of voice never rising, interrupted calmly. "Go get dressed." Nudging the boy softly towards the door, Cloud's word was final as his son headed, glumly, out of the room. He glanced back at Zack as he did, as if to blame the other man for his reprimand, before vanishing into the hall.

Zack didn't really care what Denzel thought of him however, his focus still trained on Cloud. As he stared at him though, he found himself considering how delicate the blonde was with Denzel, as if he knew the only thing the child needed was a slight push in the right direction. He hadn't been stern; he hadn't raised his voice. No, his velvety tone, even in its softness, had been enough of a warning. His presence by itself demanded respect and Zack was positive, as he'd been suffering through it lately, that Cloud's silence was far less forgiving than any amount of yelling ever would be.

He'd always been on the quieter side, but it would seem he'd found a way to use that to his advantage.

"I want to see you in my office," Cloud broke the silence, though still refusing to look at Zack as he did. Instead, he started to lead the way through the house, Zack jumping into action to follow him. His nerves were really on edge now as they left the kitchen the same way Denzel had. But as they entered the corridor, they were alone, Cloud intent on his destination.

Making sure to keep a generous girth between them, Zack tried not to let his heart strangle his throat his excitement was so unhindered. Instead, he gulped as Cloud pushed his way through a door on the left, to the same room where Tseng worked. A joint, shared office perhaps?

Careful not to seem terribly anxious, Zack follow him inside, glancing around only quickly before focusing again on Cloud. The room was simple enough. A single, large desk was set up on the right, a window behind it. There were other chairs set up, extra seating, and a few filing cabinets on the left. Papers were stack neatly around the room, giving the small space a somewhat congested feeling.

Cloud had stepped his way around to the back of the desk, pulling open a drawer and lifting out a thickly filled manila folder. Zack, paranoid and tense, considered whether or not he should close the door behind him, but decided against it. He didn't want Cloud to feel trapped.

Not that the blonde seemed uneasy. Rather, he was quite calm, rifling through another drawer until he located a small leather booklet before finally coming back from around the desk.

"I know you're not working yet," he started, Zack rejecting the urge to jump at the sound of his voice, "but it'll help if you look through this folder beforehand," he came up to Zack, only close enough to hand him the manila folder. He still didn't look at him. "It entails all the places from which we pick up and deliver, what routes we take, charges and how they're paid, special instructions, all of that. You'd do good to learn as much of it as possible.

"This," he handed Zack the small leather booklet, quite careful to make sure they didn't touch each other as his newest employee retrieved it, "is your certification. Tseng made them up a little while ago after someone got away with stealing from one of our clients. Generally, at least with our bigger vendors, they'll ask to see that, so have it with you."

"Oh, uh, sure," Zack muttered as he flipped it open, glancing down at the badge only quickly before flicking his focus back to Cloud once again. Yet, still, Cloud was blatantly refusing to look at him, his blue eyes cast to the side as if his mind were on more important matters than his newest employee.

Because that was what he was, Zack realized. Cloud's _employee_…

"If you have any questions," he started again, making his way around Zack and back towards the door, "ask Tseng. He should be able to help on everything in that folder." Zack turned to follow his every move, his previously hopeful attitude dying as Cloud drifted further and further away. "I'm leaving for a few days, so I won't be here." And as if that were some sort of acceptable goodbye, he reached the doorway, about to walk out.

Zack felt words choke up through his throat.

"Wait!" he issued, unaware that the word had been on his lips until he'd said it. His outburst had caused Cloud to stop, the blonde's back to him as he stood in the doorway. "I, uh…" Zack wasn't even sure why he'd spoken up. What did he want to say? Not even he knew. "I just…" his shoulders fell, his whole body deflating. There was nothing he _could_ say. "I want to say thanks. Thanks for… the job… and everything…"

Cloud didn't want to hear anything from Zack - his best friend. He'd tolerate only Zack - Strife employee.

That was all he was; all that Cloud could put up with.

Pausing for only a moment longer, the blonde twitched his head only slightly to the side, as if he'd considered perhaps looking at Zack, but then thought better of it. Without a word, he walked from the room, disappearing into the hall.

Zack, feeling worse and worse by the moment, slumped back into one of the chairs and leaned his head against the manila folder in his hands.

He sighed.

**oOo**

"Denzel really loves Cloud, doesn't he?" Zack stated his thoughts out loud as he stared out the kitchen window at the backyard. Ever since Cloud had left some two hours before, Denzel's attitude had changed dramatically. He was very brooding all of a sudden, sitting alone on a swing with his bare feet dragging in the dirt. He stared at the ground, frowning. "And Cloud loves him too…"

"They're alike in a lot of ways," Tifa explained from the table behind Zack. She was getting her bag together, preparing to leave to run her errands. "Denzel went through a lot before he came here. A lot of death and loss, and I think that, even though he doesn't know a lot about Cloud's past, he knows he can relate. Kindred spirits I suppose." Zack turned to look at her, to find her smiling as she stared past Zack and out the window. "And I think Cloud just… wants to spare Denzel all the heartbreak he had to go through. To stop his suffering before it could get any worse, like his own."

"Like if he can heal Denzel, he can heal himself?" Zack asked, returning his attention to the window again.

"Something like that," Tifa replied as she came up next to him. "It was strange actually, when Denzel first came to live with us. For awhile after the war, Cloud was okay, but slowly he started to drift away, going to live at the church I later learned. But after he found Denzel, he came back, more determined and like his old self, like he'd been during the war, than ever. He poured his attention into trying to get Denzel better."

Zack turned to her, eyebrows furrowed.

"Denzel had been infected with Geostigma when we'd found him, an infection caused by the JENOVA cells that had leaked into the lifestream. It was a horrible, painful disease with… with no cure." She flicked her eyes to the floor, as if remembering a sad memory. "One way or another, no matter how it was fought, it always killed its hosts.

"But Cloud," she glanced up at the window yet again. "He was determined to find a cure. It was like Denzel gave him a reason to live again, something worthwhile. But then he…" Her face tensed. "He contracted the disease himself and it was like… he just gave up. He hadn't found a cure and was going to die himself, so he just… lost hope. He left us then, feeling useless and started living at the church again.

"It's at about that time that rumor of Sephiroth's return started and Cloud was forced to do something about it. He… he finally came to terms with everything that had happened, came back home. And then Aerith, at least I think it was her, she brought a cure for the stigma and everyone still living with it was able to be cured." She glanced up at Zack. "It's that water at the church that does it. Geostigma is still contracted, but just a little of that water and it goes away."

"I really have missed a lot," Zack stated, his arms crossing over his chest, but Tifa became even more serious about his statement as the two glanced at each other.

"I want to warn you about the stigma Zack," she started, the tall man beside her furrowing his brows. "Most people who are cured seem to have no recurring symptoms. That is, except Cloud." Zack's eyes widened. "It's never anything serious, but I think it has something to do with the fact that he actually has JENOVA cells inside him, unlike others who simply caught the disease by being exposed to them. But you're like him, so there's a good chance you'll get it too.

"Just watch for the symptoms. Light-headedness, black discharge. It progresses faster in Cloud than most as well, so don't let it get out of hand. Just… tell someone if you notice anything like that." Zack, realizing that this really was serious, nodded quickly, his lips pursing. Tifa sounded rather certain he'd contract it, so at least he had that to look forward to.

And it kept coming back in Cloud? So he'd have to watch out for it his whole life? Joy.

"I'm going to head out now," Tifa stated, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Denzel probably won't cause much trouble, he's pretty quiet when Cloud's not around, but just keep an eye on him." Zack nodded, watching her as she turned and headed towards the door that lead out to the bar. And as she disappeared, he turned his attention back to Denzel, his thoughts drifting as he watched the child swing slowly back and forth.

Everyday he was living there, he learned a little more about Cloud. Some huge part of his life that had happened in the last five years. Most people's lives weren't that eventful, but it would appear that Cloud didn't have that luxury. Like Tseng and Reno had explained, when things were happening, Cloud was right in the middle of it.

The thought made Zack feel guilty. He'd shown up out of nowhere, disrupting the calm Cloud had finally managed to find.

Maybe things would be better if he just… avoided Cloud like the blonde was him. If they acted only like colleagues. Not that he'd been trying particularly hard to get his attention anyway, for fear of the reaction he'd get, but still. If Cloud wasn't ready to face him, then the least Zack could do was make it easy for him. After everything he'd done for the world, and all he'd been through, it was the least Zack could do. Make things as easy as possible for him.

The thought was depressing for Zack, but he didn't know what else to do. If Cloud didn't want to see him, then… then that was just the way it was.

Eyes having dropped to stare at the floor, he only vaguely noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. Glancing up again, he saw that Denzel had stood from the swing and was running towards the other end of the yard, out of range of Zack's vision.

Abruptly, the ex-SOLDIER felt his nerves spike. Denzel was out of sight and he was the most important person in Cloud's life. And _he_ was currently responsible for him. The warning lights started to flash in his minds eye, his SOLDIER instincts kicking in. Dashing to the door, he headed out into the yard himself, only wearing socks, and headed off in the direction that Denzel had gone.

The yard wasn't fenced in and when Zack wasn't able to spot the kid anywhere, he jogged out and around to the front of the building, nearer the street.

At first, he'd thought that Denzel would be easy to locate, that he'd just gone to play somewhere else. But as he found himself standing outside the front door, glancing up and down the crowded street, he felt further panic settle in the bottom of his gut. Denzel was gone.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," he muttered. Cloud was never going to speak to him now. He'd lost his kid! How had this happened? Tifa had said he'd be quiet. Did he do this often, running off?

Stepping out into the street himself, Zack glanced around quickly, searching desperately for Denzel. What would Cloud even think if he knew this was happening? He'd hate him for sure, at least more so than he already did.

Gah, where was he?!

Teeth gritted, Zack continued to scour the street, people that passed him by casting him odd looks. After all, he was standing in the middle of the path without shoes looking like a crazy person.

That was, until he spotted that mop of brown hair. Breathing a sigh relief, Zack darted across the street, swiftly making his way down to the right some until he'd finally caught up with the boy, which, in all honesty, shouldn't have been that hard for him. He _had_ been in SOLDIER after all.

Denzel was crouching, looking down under some metal fencing between two buildings.

"So, uh, what're you doing?" Zack asked, his arms crossing over his chest as he stared down at the boy. Slowly, as if annoyed that he'd been interrupted, Denzel turned his head up to glare at Zack, even more spite in his eyes than there had been previously. Not that Zack really cared. He was just a kid after all. He'd worry more about being liked after he could get Cloud to warm up to him again. Until then, no on else mattered.

"There's a chocobo," Denzel explained, glancing back down through the hole in the fencing. "A baby one. It's green." Zack, who'd cocked his eyebrow doubtfully, bent down so he could get a better look through the hole in the fence as well. And much to his surprise, he did in fact see the sea-foam green tuft of chocobo feathers.

"Must have gotten loose," Zack deduced.

"Or someone abandoned it," Denzel replied, sounding almost hopeful, and Zack rolled his eyes. He truly doubted someone would give up a chocobo of that color. Last he'd checked, the ones that were anything but yellow were worth quite a bit. But he kept his thoughts to himself, not wanting to cause Denzel any more grief than he already had.

"I'm going to go get it," Denzel suddenly decided, creeping closer to the fence. Seeing where this was going, Zack quickly reached down and, as the kid sank down in through the hole, grabbed him by the arm.

"I don't think so," Zack decided. "Get back out here right now and come-"

"Don't touch me!" Denzel stated temperamentally, attempting to struggle out of Zack's grasp. His wiggling wasn't doing any good however, Zack merely tightening his grip as he pursed his lips in disapproval.

"Get out of there right now," he demanded. "You're not going after that choco- Ow!" Pulling his hand back abruptly, he glanced down at his arm where he could see the reddening teeth marks that could only be made by a small human child. "Hey!" he yelled angrily as Denzel sank fully through the whole and came out the other side. "You get back out here right now! I'm taking you home and you can… sit in the corner until Tifa gets home! **Hey**!"

Denzel wasn't listening, he was creeping up behind the chocobo. He barely fit between the two buildings and Zack knew it'd be futile of him to try and follow. He'd no doubt get stuck.

"Denzel, I'm serious!" he exclaimed. "Get out here right now!"

"You're scaring it!" the boy accused as the chocobo lifted its head to look at them. Giving a rather squeaky "warp," the little bird turned and ran further down the alley.

And Denzel ran after it.

"Denzel!" Zack yelled as the boy dashed after the bird, vanishing around a corner. "God dammit!" he shook the fence angrily before running down to the left, looking for any opening that would allow him to follow the kid. Eventually, he came across an alley that didn't look to lead to a dead-end and, flailing to a halt, began sprinting down it.

And as he came out the other side, he stepped out into another street. Glancing around quickly, he saw that small shaggy head of brown hair duck down between some rather startled people some ways to the right. Bolting after him, Zack refrained from muttering profanities in order to focus on breathing properly.

He was going to punish that kid so much…

Denzel, no doubt still in pursuit of the damn bird, rounded a corner and out of sight once more, Zack pelting after him even faster. Pushing his legs to carry him as quickly as they could, he was determined that if Denzel didn't take any more inaccessible routes, he'd be able to catch him. And so as he rounded the corner himself, he set his focus on the boy running after that green, warking piece of poultry.

But then, as he glanced up to get a better idea of where they were headed, he felt his stomach drop, worry forming in its place. They were just perpendicular to one of the more highly populated roads, this one ushering vehicles through. It was actually a highway of sorts, Zack already making out the sounds of roaring engines. If they kept running, they'd end up right in the middle of it.

"Denzel! Stop!" he shouted as loudly as he could.

"Go away!" was the response he received and he growled, pumping his legs as fast as he could. He had to grab the kid, and he had to do it quickly.

He had only seconds!

Breath heavy, he strained his muscles to the limit, his SOLDIER speed closing the gap between him and Denzel considerably. But he just wasn't fast enough. Before he knew it, they'd reached the end of the street, the chocobo darting out into the road to be followed rather foolishly by Denzel. The boy did have common sense enough to look both ways, but he never stopped.

He ran right out into traffic, a few horns honking in warning as he dashed towards the middle divider.

Knowing he couldn't stop, Zack gulped and prayed to the Ancients that there weren't any cars coming. Bolting out into the street, he glanced both ways only as he crossed, eyes widening when he saw the grill of a very large bus headed right at him.

SOLDIER instincts kicking in, he did the first thing that came to mind. Jumping, he pulled his body into the fetal position, front flipping himself just barely out of the way as the bus, horn blaring, rushed by behind him.

He dashed quickly to the middle divider splitting up the two-way road. Yet his attention had momentarily been focused on saving himself and diverted from Denzel. So when he finally caught sight of the kid again, he was sent speechless by what he saw.

The damn bird, shocked and scared by the cars, was running around in the street, vehicles whipping by it and honking their horns loudly. And Denzel, his focus and concern totally intent on the chocobo, only looked quickly before dashing out to rescue it.

He didn't see the truck.

Pushing himself into running again, Zack darted out into the street after the kid, his hands outstretched.

Not expecting Denzel in its panic, the chocobo was easily caught by the boy, who grabbed it up in his arms. Yet, at the same time, he heard the screeching tires of the truck and looked up, eyes widening as it squealed towards him.

Zack was only inches from grabbing Denzel and pulling him out of the way. But he knew there wasn't time for that now.

He had only one choice.

The truck was trying to stop, but it just wasn't possible. Not at that distance.

Zack, finally reaching Denzel, used all his strength and pushed, sending the shocked-still child flying across the street to the other side.

And the last thing he saw were those stunned, bright blue eyes staring back at him.

**oOo**

"Where is he?!" Cloud asked as he burst through the door. He spotted Tseng and Tifa first, the two of them standing on either side of the hospital bed. Rounding on them, he felt the tension from the speedy drive back dissipate somewhat at what he saw.

Denzel was sitting on the bed, his tear streaked face glancing up at Cloud as Tseng moved out of the way so the blonde could come up on the right side of the bed. His tiny arm was in a cast, a bandage wrapped around his forehead. But to Cloud, it looked far worse than anything he could have imagined.

He'd gotten the call some two hours before, Tifa explaining that there'd been an accident and that he had to get home right away. He vaguely remembered her saying that Denzel was okay, that he'd just broken his arm, but the mere thought of the boy being hurt had sent him into a panic. She'd said that Zack had shoved him out of the way, that he'd saved his life, but none of it had registered. After that, the conversation was a blank to him. He'd had to get home; he'd had to get to his son.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he bent over Denzel, taking the boy's face in his hand as he did. He placed the other on the boy's shoulder, comforted just by the fact that as he touched him, he was warm; he was alive. "What happened?" His normally calm, collected demeanor was dented by his panic, his blue eyes taking in everything he could about Denzel's condition.

Aside from his bandages, his left cheek was severely bruised as well as his other arm. As if he'd been thrown into something at a high speed and with great force.

"I-I-" Denzel stuttered, his eyes tearing up as he stared at his father. "I didn't mean- it was an accident- I didn't know that the truck- I-I'm so s-sorry." He started to cry, tears rolling down his cheeks as Cloud sat down on the bed beside him. His panic was finally starting to dissipate, his parental attitude coming in to take over.

"It's okay," he soothed. "It's alright." Careful not to knock the kid's wounds, Cloud pulled him into a hug, attempting to comfort the crying boy. He rocked him back and forth, Denzel taking hold of Cloud's sweater with his free hand and fisting the fabric. "Shh, you're okay."

"I'm sorry," he said again, his voice muffled against Cloud's chest. "I d-didn't mean for it to happen, b-but it was all my fault." He burrowed his face as far as he could into Cloud's shirt, both Tifa and Tseng watching the scene with concerned brows.

"It's okay," Cloud said again. "You're fine, everything's okay now." He felt his own heart finally beginning to slow, his eyes closing as he was soothed by the feeling of Denzel securely wrapped in his arms. His son, the most important thing in his entire world, was safe.

Everything was fine.

"I'm sorry dad," he muttered brokenly. "I didn't m-mean for him to get hurt."

Eyes blinking open, Cloud, holding Denzel tighter still, felt something stir in his memory. Something from his conversation with Tifa some hours before. His son hadn't been the only one involved, he'd been… shoved out of harms way.

Zack. Zack had gotten him out of the way.

Eyes flicking to Tifa, he knew she could read his questioning stare. He couldn't remember the rest of his conversation with her. What she'd said after he'd tuned out, so worried about Denzel that he'd failed to understand the last part of the discussion. But it'd had something to do with Zack.

_Zack_…

"Denzel was out in the street," she started to explain, her arms crossing under her breasts. "I'd asked Zack to watch him while I was out, but I guess Denzel saw a stray chocobo and went after it." She glanced at the boy, her expression not scolding, but not supportive either. Just blank. "From what I've managed to get out of Denzel," who, now that he was protected in his father's embrace, had quelled his tears, "Zack told him to come back, but he didn't listen. Instead, he went after the chocobo, Zack chasing him the whole way.

"And when they got to the main road, he kept going after it even though he'd been told continuously never to go that way," she took a deep breath, Cloud's eyes never leaving hers. "There was a truck, one that Denzel didn't see, but that Zack did. He threw Denzel out of the way," causing his injuries, "and Zack…" She closed her eyes. "He was hit instead."

Cloud felt a cold chill sink over him, his lips pursing as his son, ashamed of his actions, tried to hide against his father's chest. Denzel was a smart kid, mature for his age after everything he'd seen and been through. And he knew that by acting the way he had, he'd been in the wrong. His actions had resulted in horrific consequences.

Eyes falling to the sheets, Cloud continued to hold Denzel as he considered what he'd just heard, not sure how to react. Or perhaps he was just too afraid to react.

"When we got here," her and Tseng, "I asked that the same doctor you see treat Zack, that you two had many of the same things in common as far as your… physical characteristics." Those of a SOLDIER. "The hit was… pretty bad and, had it not been for his SOLDIER advantages, he'd be dead."

But he wasn't. That was what Cloud took from her words. Zack could have died, but he hadn't. He was alive. In one form another, he'd lived.

Eyes closing, Cloud released a deep breath, somewhat surprised at the emotion that assaulted him next.

Relief.

"In fact, because of his SOLDIER benefits, he only suffered a few sprains. A lot of bruising of course, and some cuts and gashes, but nothing that shouldn't be healed in a few weeks," Tifa continued. "And to think, such an accident would have killed a normal person."

Cloud nodded, his eyes still closed as he tried to come to terms with the emotions roiling around inside of him. When he'd heard the news about Denzel, the first worry that had come to him was over his son's life. Whether he was ever going to see him, talk to him, _hold_ him again. He'd felt the same anxiety he'd found when he'd considered Aerith's death, and Zack's.

All he'd wanted to do was get to the hospital. To see Denzel and make sure he was alright. And when he'd humored the worst, because he _had_ over and over and over again, he'd begged that he be allowed to see his son just one last time. To see him breathing, smiling, alive. He'd have given his own life a million times over for that.

Just to see him again.

Yet there he sat, Denzel in his arms, safe. But Zack, well, he didn't know where _he_ was. Zack, who'd given up everything, literally, to try and protect them both. He'd died. Cloud had seen him take his last breath right before his eyes. And now, somehow, he'd miraculously returned. He'd done what generations had believed was impossible no matter what attempts had been made otherwise.

He was alive. And he'd had no qualms with throwing his life away once again in order to save another.

His second chance could have been over that fast, only days after he'd returned.

Cloud, gulping, pressed his face into Denzel's hair, eyes still closed. When he'd feared that he'd lost Denzel, he'd come, he'd found him. He was there with him, cherishing every moment. Yet when Zack had reappeared, he'd pushed him away. Why?

_Why_ had he done that?

Because he was afraid, that was why. He'd been too terrified of losing Zack again, of his death, that he'd failed to see him alive right before his eyes. His fear of being without Denzel made him understand that. He'd feared losing his son, yet he'd been unable to comprehend the fact that he'd gotten his best friend back. And all because he'd been afraid.

It was his fear that had blinded him from seeing Zack that way. The past had cornered him, blurring his vision of the future. A future where Zack was there, something he'd never imagined possible again, and now…

Now that image had almost been wiped clean once more.

He could have lost him all over again, and this time without having even given himself the chance to realize what a gift he'd been granted. He'd been blessed beyond what anyone else had ever been.

And he'd almost thrown it away.

Regret overtook his relief. That, and a new kind of fear. One that was spurred by his new understanding. Fear that coursed through him as he considered what Zack had done that day in order to save Denzel, and what he'd almost given up.

Zack was a hero, not Cloud. He'd been selfless in his actions, always had been. But Cloud… he'd always been selfish. He'd fretted over Denzel, afraid to live without him. And he'd ignored Zack, again afraid to live without him. And now he was doing it again, living in fear of what he might have missed out on; in what he might lose.

All of it selfish.

He didn't deserve the people that loved him, Tifa, Denzel, his friends; Zack. But he now knew that, even though that be true, to reject them would be the worst of his selfish acts. He had no right to refuse their affection, their presence. He owed that to them all, and especially to Zack.

Zack…

He was so afraid. So afraid to feel _that_ and then… lose it again. But perhaps that too was where courage was born. Bravery was not something that was created out of nothing. It was spurred by terror. To stand up and fight in the face of fear, that was to be courageous.

Perhaps, if he stopped running and turned, he could face Zack with a brave face. He had nothing to offer but his worthless courage.

Yet he had to try…

"Once the doctor comes back," Tifa's voice entered his thoughts, his eyes flickering open, "he's going to release Denzel. There's no reason to keep him overnight, but he has to come in for a checkup tomorrow. Mostly just routine stuff."

Cloud nodded. "I'll take him," he replied, unaware of the way Tifa's gaze had softened upon him.

"Tseng and I were already in to see Zack," she continued. "They're keeping him for a few days, just to watch him. He was asleep last time we were there, but if you want to go see him, Tseng and I can come get you when it's time to take Denzel home." Cloud wasn't sure how she did it, how she read his mind, seeming to know exactly what was running through his head. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she'd been the one to piece his subconscious back together. Like she knew him better than he knew himself.

He didn't want to leave Denzel, but he knew his son was alright now and that he'd be safe with Tifa. He needed to go see Zack. He had to.

"Is that okay with you?" Cloud pulled back from Denzel, who had long since gotten control of his tears. He didn't look like he wanted Cloud to leave, but, after a few moments, he nodded. Reluctant, but understanding. Zack had saved his life, that was all the boy registered. And that was enough of a reason to release his father to go visit him.

Even if they _didn't_ like each other.

"You'll come get me when you go home?" he asked, Denzel nodding again as he traced his finger down the front of his father's sweater. "I'll see you in a little while then," Cloud confirmed as, slowly, he stood from the bed. He allowed his hand to rest atop Denzel's head, his fingers sifting through the boy's hair for a moment before he finally retreated out of reach. Walking towards the door, he cast Tifa one more look.

"He's in room 247," she stated quietly, Cloud nodding only once before leaving the room. Much as he wanted to stay with Denzel, part of him, a long buried and dusty part perhaps, was begging to see Zack. He made his way down the corridor, watching the numbers count themselves up.

244, 245, 246.

247.

The door was open and, with only a moment's hesitation, he entered.

The room was empty aside from its lone occupant. The lights had been dimmed, the purple and pink colors of twilight drifting inside. A single lamp above Zack's head was ignited, shining down on his still figure. The glass in the window was slid open, allowing the warm summer air to drift inside, shifting the drapes and disrupting Zack's spiked black hair only slightly.

Cloud, pausing at the end of the bed, stared at his old friend, lips tightening.

Like Denzel, there was a bandage wrapped around his head. But he also had quite a few band-aids streaking down his left cheek, a single scratch exposed on his right. His arms too were wrapped, being treated for burns he'd acquired on the asphalt. And, elevated slightly, was his left leg, but Cloud could tell it was merely so to prevent further damage to the sprain.

Most of his chest and his other leg were covered in a blanket, and Cloud wondered how much damage had been done there as well, a frown creasing his lips.

"Don't look so happy to see me." Flicking his eyes up to Zack's face, Cloud saw that his old friend was staring at him from beneath half-lidded eyes, a mocking smile pulling at one side of his lips.

Finally getting a good look at him since he'd learned of his arrival, Cloud found his eyes traveling the familiar contours of his chiseled jaw - that little cross scar to the right. Of his lips, which always seemed ready to form into a smile. And those eyes, clever and pointed just so that he constantly seemed to be onto something, or into something, or causing some kind of misguided mischief. Yet they were the same eyes that bore his unrivaled determination. And his total and utter happiness.

Cloud remembered those days, when he'd been able to read Zack just by the look in his eyes. He'd always worn his heart on his sleeve.

"Though I guess I should just be happy you're looking at me at all," he continued when Cloud said nothing in response. Lips pursing with guilt, the blonde rounded his way from the end of the bed up the side, so he was standing beside Zack.

His sighed, forcing the shaking tremble from his breath.

He didn't know what to say. Or what to do. All he was accomplishing was staring down at Zack, which, compared to days previous, was quite an improvement. Yet past that, he was lost. It'd been ten years since he'd had any kind of real connection with his best friend. At that point, they'd been the most important people in each other's lives. He remembered those days spent holed up in Zack's apartment, alone, hiding from his designated infantry dorm. There'd been a feeling of carelessness between them, as if nothing besides each other had mattered.

That was right before Nibelheim, when they'd been convinced nothing could go wrong. That nothing could break them apart.

But now, all that seemed like a dream. Or perhaps someone else's life. Cloud couldn't relate anymore, but Zack… he'd only just come off the cusp of living that life. There was a ten year difference between their understanding and Cloud… he didn't even know how to go about _attempting_ to breach it.

Or if he even wanted to.

Their life had been easy back then, when they'd been young and reckless, and when love had been enough to hold them together. Yet now Cloud had a family, a career, and baggage far beyond anything he'd had as a teenager. Introduce Zack into the mix, then add Cloud attempting to make something happen between them on top of everything else?

He wasn't sure he wanted the strain.

Or maybe he was still just afraid and coming up with excuses. He couldn't tell.

"I know I'm good looking," Zack rasped, "but staring _is_ rude." He was joking, Cloud blinking when he realized that the accusation was correct. His lack of things to say had landed him into gawking down at the man below.

"Sorry," he muttered, his stare diverting from Zack's face and down to his leg. Silence fell between them once again, Zack sighing a few moments later.

"You never were one for too many words, but this is… kind of ridiculous," Zack laughed just barely, his comment once again voiced in a playful manner. But Cloud could see through it, see what he wanted in the way his eyes stared when their attention was brought back together again. Zack was desperate. Finally, after days of torture, he was getting some kind of attention from his best friend. And he wanted more.

"What do you want me to say?" Cloud asked softly, his tone just loud enough for the other to hear.

"Anything," Zack replied, a small smile tugging on his lips. "Everything. Sing for all I care. But talk to me." All he really wanted was to hear that velvety voice directed at him once again. After the days of agonizing silence and neglect, he'd settle for just about anything.

Cloud paused before opening his mouth again. "Thank you," he started. "For saving Denzel. If you hadn't been there, I don't think he'd be here right now." And Cloud wouldn't be able to live with that. Denzel was his child, his everything, and his world would be shattered without him.

"I think it was me throwing him out of the way that got him hurt in the first place," Zack replied, his tired eyes straining to remain focused on the blonde. They wanted to close, the painkillers were fighting him into sleep, but he refused to give in.

"Perhaps," Cloud agreed, "but a broken arm is better than the alternative." Had it not been for Zack's SOLDIER enhancements, he'd be dead, and he was grown man. Denzel wouldn't have stood a chance.

"I guess," Zack took a deep breath, Cloud noting how his chest trembled as he did. He was exhausted. "Maybe now he won't hate me so much. That kid," he raised his eyebrows at Cloud, "is real protective of you."

"I know," Cloud verified. "But he already lost one set of parents, so I suppose he's afraid of going through that again." The blonde understood the feeling, only it wasn't until that very day that he'd considered dealing with it. Denzel's mother and father had perished in sector seven, and when he'd found a new family, he'd latched on and refused to let go. Not pushed away as Cloud had.

"I never would have pegged you as the type that'd adopt a kid," Zack started, his eyes narrowing slightly as he stared up at Cloud. "Last time I saw you, you'd barely been more than a kid yourself."

"Things change," Cloud replied, his tone almost cold. Zack, eyes flicking to the side, took note of the change, his heart dropping. The blonde's message was heard loud and clear. Time had moved forward, Cloud growing up with it. Dreaming of the past was futile, even if to Zack it didn't seem that long ago.

Not that Cloud was one to talk however. He was just as stuck in the past, though perhaps less invested in reminiscing. But, the way Zack figured it, not all memories were bad and the good ones were worth remembering.

Though, from what he'd gathered, Cloud's good times were far and few between.

"I've noticed," Zack finally replied, a bitter smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He glanced back up at Cloud only to notice that the blonde's attention had drifted elsewhere, his blue eyes focused on something Zack couldn't see. "You're so sad…"

That grabbed his attention.

"What?" Cloud furrowed his eyebrows, apparently offended by Zack's observation as he turned to look at him again. His reaction brought a full smile to Zack's lips.

"You," he wasn't afraid to repeat himself. "You used to be so much… happier. And hopeful. Shy maybe, and quiet, but optimistic against all odds. But now… now you just seem so… sad…" His smile had vanished halfway through his explanation, his own expression dropping into one of curious gloom.

"It's hard to be happy and optimistic in the world we live in," Cloud replied, almost as if he was reprimanding Zack for bringing up such absurd emotions. Like it should be expected that Cloud not feel them anymore. Not after everything he'd been through.

"Maybe you've just forgotten…" Zack stated rebelliously, looking down at the sheets again. He missed how Cloud's lips pursed, his whole jaw becoming stiff. "But I guess the world is in pretty bad shape. No time for things like joy." He shook his head, Cloud's expression softening back to it's normal coldness at the grief layering his old friend's voice.

"There are small things…" Cloud murmured, staring at the floor beneath his feet as Zack once again glanced over at him.

"Like Denzel?" he inquired and Cloud nodded just once. "What about me?" At first, Cloud didn't make a move to respond, as if digesting the words. But then, ever so slowly, he twitched his attention back to the man in the hospital bed, his brow furrowed slightly. "Never mind," Zack shook his head and sighed. "I know I don't bring joy to anyone, least of all you." He missed the way hurt flicked across Cloud's face. But the signs of it were gone as soon as they'd come. "I _scare_ you…"

Cloud looked away again.

"But you know… you scare me too," he continued. "I never thought I'd ever say that about you. Ever. But… well, like you said, things change. You've changed. The old you was so young…"

"We were both young…"

"Yeah, but still," Zack gulped and took a deep breath. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that this… man you've become," Cloud glanced back, "terrifies me. Not because of how strong you are or anything like that. But because you're not the person I used to know and I still can't… get over you. It's like I have all these feelings still, and have no idea what you're going to do."

Cloud didn't know how to respond to that. Zack had basically admitted that he still felt the same way about him as he had ten years ago. It caused his heart to speed up. Not in excitement, but in fear. He couldn't handle that, someone… loving him in that way. It was just too much. He didn't want that kind of pressure, that kind of responsibility. It was one thing to care for his family, for Denzel, and quite another to consider a relationship that was…

It was all too much.

"I'm sorry," Cloud shook his head, stepping away from the bed and going over to the window. He stared out into the city, unable to look back at Zack. He didn't know what else to say, what else he _could_ say.

He was so lost…

"I know you are," Zack muttered, already regretting having said anything on the matter at all. Yet before the conversation could continue, they were interrupted as Tseng, peeking in at first, walked into the room.

"Tifa's taking Denzel outside now," he explained, ever serious. "It'll probably be easiest if you take him home on your bike. I don't think he has the energy to walk." Cloud had turned to look at the Turk, nodding in understanding and having no issues with the course of action.

Tseng, tilting his head once to Cloud in affirmation, then looked to Zack, blinked as if to acknowledge him, and turned back the way he'd come. The two remaining listened as his footsteps echoed down the hall.

"I guess you're leaving then," Zack eventually stated, not seeming to feel one way or another about the fact. Cloud simply nodded, finally getting up the gall to glance back at Zack after his unfortunate admission.

"We'll be back again tomorrow," Cloud verified, Zack's eyebrows rising questioningly. "Denzel has to have more tests done." Oh, so they weren't coming back to see him. Zack sank back down in the bed, trying not to seem too disappointed. "And we'll come see you as well," because, as Cloud knew very well, Zack wore his emotions all over his face. He could read him like a book. "We won't leave you alone here."

"You'll come?" Zack asked tentatively, their eyes meeting once again. "You'll come and talk to me again?" Cloud didn't reply at first, knowing that what his old friend was really asking for was more than the formal discussion that took place during hospital visits. Something more meaningful than wasted words.

"Yeah," Cloud decided. "I'll come and talk to you tomorrow."

Zack smiled slightly at that, seeming to take relief in the guarantee as he leaned back against the pillows. Cloud watched him for only a moment longer, glad that he was relaxing before, with a slight nod towards the other man, heading towards the door.

He could feel Zack's eyes on him the whole way out.

* * *

**A/N:** A little progress between Zack and Cloud. But that's how it's starting between them. Little by little. Poor Zack though, hit by a truck. Kind of ironic actually. Though I have to say, I hate all the fanfics that paint Denzel as an annoyance in Cloud's life. In the movie, the complete movie, it's very apparent that Denzel is important to him, not something he has to put up with. And as a parental figure, Cloud will always put Denzel first. As any decent parent would know, that's simply the way it is.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Again, please let me know what you thought, I love the in-depth reviews I've been getting.

R&R PLEASE AND I LOVE YOU ALL!


	4. Chapter 4: A Jealousy Complex

**In a Bed of Flowers**

_Chapter 4: A Jealousy Complex_

"Cloud." Turning, the blonde cast his attention to Tseng, who'd come from the office in an attempt to catch him before he'd left. Denzel was putting on his shoes, Tifa bent down beside him to help since he was minus the use of one arm. "I don't mean to unload this on you now," Tseng continued, "but you didn't make your pick-up yesterday." Both Tifa and Denzel were glancing up, listening as the two spoke.

"I know that," Cloud replied, wondering why he was being told the obvious.

"We got a call from the client and I explained that our delivery agent had been called away on an emergency and that we'd be a little late. They were forgiving, but we need to get this order taken care of as soon as possible," Tseng pursed his lips, not liking the news any more than Cloud did. "If you want, I can go and-"

"No," Cloud shook his head, trying to get everything straight after what had happened the day before. "I'll go," he finally decided. "After we take Denzel in. And I'll go straight to the next delivery after that. Maybe, if I don't make any stops, I can get caught up."

"Are you sure?" Tseng asked, concern evident as he furrowed his eyebrows, but Cloud merely nodded. "I'll call the other clients on your list and let them know you'll be running late," he continued when it was apparent his boss's mind was made up.

"Thank you," Cloud nodded and, coming to understand that the discussion was over, turned back to Tifa and Denzel, who were ready and waiting at the door. Their faces were blank, but Cloud had the feeling Tifa would be giving him a piece of her mind on the way out.

Exiting the house, Denzel glanced quickly up at Cloud, a question bubbling from between his lips.

"Can we bring Zack Jr. with us?" he questioned, a hint of desperation in his bright blue eyes. "I want Zack to meet him and Reno brought me a halter for him when he passed by the Chocobo Farm last night, so I'll be able to control him." Cloud looked up at Tifa, who shrugged, a smile pulling at her lips.

"I don't think the hospital will allow a chocobo inside," Cloud explained evenly.

"They will if you're with me," Denzel replied quickly. "You get to do whatever you want." It was true despite how Cloud loathed admitting it. He wasn't a celebrity or anything, wasn't bombarded by people on the street, but everyone still knew who he was. It wasn't as if he could make a subtle impression, not with the hair he was so avidly blessed with. Everyone recognized him. And everyone knew he was a hero.

And also that he was exceptionally strong.

"_Please_," Denzel begged. "He should get to meet the man that saved him."

"Zack will be home in a few days," Cloud reasoned, but he could tell his words had had no effect. Instead, Denzel continued to stare up at him with that hopeful look in his eyes and, after a few moments, it wore his father down. "Alright, but you have to keep control of it. Even with a broken arm." Smiling, Denzel nodded before dashing around the back of the house. Apparently he'd planned this ahead of time however because he returned within seconds, the light green chocobo trailing at his side.

It warked as it approached them, but didn't dare try to pull any nonsense. It barely came up to Denzel's waist at the moment, it could only be maybe two weeks old, and knew it didn't stand a chance against the looming humans looking down at it.

Nodding, Cloud and Tifa made sure Denzel stayed only some three or four feet ahead of them as they started towards the hospital. The chocobo darted in-between and around the boy's legs excitedly, twirling him around and, over all, giving Denzel a hard time. But the kid seemed to be enjoying it, so nothing was done about it.

"I can't believe he found a stray chocobo," Tifa was shaking her head. "Someone had to of lost it. I mean, that color means it's good right? That it's worth something?" Cloud nodded. Most chocobos came in regulation yellow unless bread properly. That little green bird had good genes running through it, probably racing genes. "He's going to be upset when whoever lost it comes looking for it."

"If they do," Cloud replied.

"Well certainly they will," Tifa scoffed. "After all, we can't afford to keep it."

"Why not? They're not that expensive to feed."

"Because chocobos get huge!" she hissed, surprised at Cloud's lack of commonsense. "Where would we even put it? It won't fit anywhere in the house. Besides, it needs some kind of… wilderness to live in, doesn't it?" She didn't really know a whole lot about the birds to be honest, but she knew Cloud did. He'd been quite the racer after all.

"Not necessarily," Cloud replied. "Though it probably would be happier that way. But," he shrugged, "once it's big enough, we can rent a stable for it at the farm. That's not that expensive and I'm sure they'll give me a huge discount." Unbeknownst to anyone other than himself, he still kept his prized chocobo there as well, living on the farm for free because it was such a prized pedigree. The only gold in captivity. He got calls from the farm occasionally, asking if he was going to breed it, but so far his answer had always been no.

"I can't believe you," Tifa gaped. "You're actually going to let him keep it? What's he going to do with it? Race it?" Cloud shrugged again. "Oh no, those races are dangerous," she started in on him. "I know you loved doing it," one of the few things he'd enjoyed in the last few years, "but he'd just a child."

"I didn't say he was going to race it," Cloud rebuked coldly. "But it'll be good for him. And it'll be a good companion for him." He didn't voice it out loud, but what he really meant was that it'd be a good distraction when he wasn't able to be around. Unfortunately, Tifa was perceptive enough to see right through him.

"Are you really going to leave as soon as Denzel's appointment is done?" she asked, apparently giving up on the subject of the chocobo as she crossed her arms under her breasts. Her quizzical brow never lowered however and Cloud pursed his lips. "After everything that happened yesterday?"

"What am I supposed to do Tifa?" he asked, his tone as quiet as it always was. "I can't just ignore work. I want to stay here, but someone has to get those deliveries done. We're already behind."

"Then send Tseng," she countered. "He already offered. Stay for the week and take over what he's doing. At least then you'll be home." Cloud didn't have a response. "I know you want to stay," she continued. "You want to stay with Denzel. So why don't you? Everyone will understand. And you'll still be working. You'll just being doing Tseng's work instead."

"You know he does a better job than I do," Cloud replied.

"Maybe he does," she shrugged, "but I'm sure you could handle it for a week. C'mon Cloud, don't leave."

"I have to finish my delivery list," Cloud stubbornly refused her logic. "I'll be back in two days." He left it at that, picking up his pace until he'd caught up to Denzel and leaving a sighing, frustrated Tifa in his wake. She knew he wanted to be home, yet for some reason he just wouldn't stay. She understood that Tseng was better at the deskwork than he was, but that didn't mean he couldn't take some time off, especially now.

It was like he wanted to stay, but he also wanted to get away.

And she had an inkling as to why.

She kept her thoughts to herself however, watching as Cloud helped Denzel get ahold of his new pet. He showed the child the proper way to hold the lead rope, and how to start training the bird to walk nicely beside him. Zack Jr. wasn't very accommodating with Denzel, but with Cloud's help, they eventually got it to stop running back and forth and simply pull to one side.

It was warking in protest however and Tifa, despite her previously sour disposition, couldn't help but smile.

The walk to the hospital lasted about fifteen minutes. And when they arrived, Cloud took the chocobo as they were ushered into a check-up room. No one objected to the bird with "Mr. Strife" being there, just as Denzel had predicted, and so they'd been forced to listen to it's nervous kwehing as they waited for the doctor.

"Stay on the bed," Tifa said for the third time when Denzel tried to leap down to comfort his poor pet. It was cowering beneath Cloud's chair, staring out at them and purring with nerves.

"He's scared," Denzel frowned.

"She's scared," Cloud corrected. "Zack Jr. is a girl." He'd noticed as much on their walk to the hospital. "And she's alright. She'll get comfortable soon enough." Deflating, Denzel gave in to his father's reasoning and, face glum, stared at the wall as he swung his legs back and forth.

The wait wasn't too much longer however. Within minutes, the doctor walked in, all attention on him.

"Well, things are looking good," he explained as he went to stand at Denzel's side. He did glance momentarily down at the chocobo, but decided not to say anything on the matter. "We got all your tests back from yesterday, and your x-rays. Your arm isn't as bad as we thought, but you still have to be in that cast for a couple months." Denzel huffed. "There didn't appear to be any serious head trauma or similar to any other parts of the body." Both Tifa and Cloud were relieved at that. "I'm just going to have a look at these surface injuries and, if everything looks good, we'll get you back on your way."

Carefully, the doctor looked over all of Denzel's bumps, bruises, and scratches, taking the bandage off his head last.

"I'm not seeing any infections," the doctor continued, "but this one on his forehead still looks pretty enflamed." He pulled open one of his numerous drawers and drew out a large band-aid. Squirting some anti-bacterial onto the pad, he then pressed it to Denzel's forehead, the boy flinching back at the pressure.

"I'm going to prescribe him some medication," the doctor continued, turning his attention to Tifa and Cloud. "Just three days worth, morning and night, to stop infection." He grabbed his clipboard and started writing. "After that, just keep an eye out. But hopefully," he smiled over and Denzel, "you'll be good to go until it's time to get that cast off."

Denzel, who was shy around strangers, didn't say anything, instead preferring to stare down at the bed.

"We can just pick this up at the pharmacy?" Tifa asked as the doctor handed her the prescription he'd made out.

"Yup, right across the street," he verified before looking again at Denzel. "And you, young man," he tried to get on the kid's good side, "look both ways before you cross the street next time." The boy flicked his gaze up to the doctor only quickly before going back to the bed, the lone response the doctor was going to get.

It didn't help that Denzel was generally mature enough not to take too kindly to being talked down to.

The doctor, not seeming to care very much about Denzel's attitude, nodded once to Tifa and Cloud, a tight smile on his lips as he backed out of the room and closed the door. Almost immediately, Denzel perked up, turning to look at his adopted parents.

"Well, we better get this filled," Tifa started as she stood, Cloud doing the same. Denzel, taking that as permission to get down, went right to Zack Jr., getting the lead rope from his father and bending down to stroke the bird across it's back. "It shouldn't take too long. If you two want to go up and see Zack, I'll take this over right now and come back when it's filled."

Cloud considered her proposition for a moment before eventually deciding that he didn't really have a choice in the matter. Nodding tightly, he beckoned silently to Denzel as the group headed out into the hall, Tifa disappearing the way they'd come while Cloud, Denzel's hand held tightly in his own, went to the stairs.

Trailed by the ever energetic Zack Jr., the two made their way up to the second level, both father and son somewhat unnerved when they considered seeing Zack again. Their reasons, however, varied considerably.

But then there it was, room 247.

Denzel's hand tightened inside Cloud's as they walked in through the open door. Almost as if the boy feared what he'd find. After all, he blamed himself for what had happened, rightfully so, and was afraid of the condition he'd find Zack in. The boy's father knew that the ex-SOLDIER was fine, but Denzel had yet to see him.

Cloud's fears, on the other hand, well he just decided to push them back and try to ignore them.

Zack, his eyes flicking their way as they entered, smiled upon having visitors. He was sitting up in the bed, looking far better than when Cloud had been to see him the day before. The window was open again, and sitting on a counter in the corner of the room was an empty tray, no doubt leftover from breakfast.

Denzel scooted closer to his father, fearful of how Zack would receive him.

"You finally got here," Zack breathed, his contagious smile ever present. Too bad Cloud had long since built up an immunity. "I've been so bored and the nurses will only stay and talk to me for so long." He was being completely serious. He'd been up since five that morning, stuck in his bed with absolutely nothing to do.

He didn't get a response however, Cloud urging the nervous Denzel forward as Zack's eyes fell to the kid. His stare softened then, as Cloud knew it would. The ex-SOLDIER would never hold a grudge. Against anyone. He was forgiving almost to a fault.

"You're looking good," Zack stated as Denzel, finally forced to release Cloud's hand, approached the side of the bed. "Sorry I broke your arm though," Zack continued, completely unfazed by the boy's hesitant demeanor. "I was only trying to get you out of the way." Cloud didn't get it, how he could possibly feel guilty about Denzel's arm when he'd saved the kid's life.

"I- I know," Denzel replied shyly, his eyes focused on the sheets as he placed his hands on the edge of the bed. The chocobo's lead rope was looped around his wrist, the bird darting around at his feet. "I'm sorry I ran from you," Denzel continued as he traced a wrinkle in the bedspread with his finger. "And that I wouldn't listen. And that I bit you."

"You bit him?" Cloud questioned suddenly, seemingly appalled in his generally calm demeanor. Denzel, blushing, turned to his father, silently apologizing through his shame. And, for the first time that Zack had seen, Cloud's expression became one of disapproval in the face of his son, which seemed to make Denzel feel exceptionally terrible.

"It's alright," Zack assured as he reached over and ruffled Denzel's shaggy hair. "Can't even see the teeth marks anymore." He was grinning wildly, his pardoning attitude finally seeming to have an effect. Denzel relaxed, a small smile forming on his lips. Cloud however, expression as cold as ever, stood back a ways, simply watching. "And I see," Zack attempted to keep the conversation going, "that your bird made it through as well."

Eyes suddenly widening in excitement, Denzel smiled fully as he bent down and, much to the chocobo's squawking outrage, picked up the green bird. He brought it to the bed, both him and Zack flinching away as it flapped its wings, sending tiny, downy green feathers flying all over the sheets.

But as soon as it was set back down on solid ground, it stopped flapping. It wasn't exactly calm, it was shaking nervously, but Denzel petted it soothingly down the back and it settled into place beside Zack.

"Well…" Zack didn't quite know what to say. "That's a… pretty nice bird you've got there." To be honest, he'd never really been around chocobos. Even back in Gongaga he hadn't had anything to do with them. Still, despite his skepticism, he reached forward and patted it softly on the head.

"This is Zack Jr.!" Denzel announced, his smile growing wider still.

"Oh…" Zack furrowed his eyebrows, not sure how he should respond. "Well he's definitely a fine looking bird indeed, especially with a name like that." He did have to admit that he was flattered Denzel had named the chocobo after him. Perhaps the kid didn't hate him so much after all.

"Zack Jr. is a girl," Denzel stated.

"Ah… lovely…" Zack shrugged, still patting the bird's head uncertainly. "I suppose Zack can a be girl's name too." Actually, he was quite positive it couldn't be, but figured that bringing as much up to Denzel might not go over well.

"I'd named her before Dad told me she was a girl," Denzel explained with a frown.

"Oh, I see," Zack nodded, his attention falling to Cloud. "And your father knows everything about chocobos does he?" He was trying to pick on the blonde, which, unbeknownst to him, wasn't going to go over well.

"Yeah!" Denzel verified, Zack snapping his attention back to the boy, one eyebrow cocked. "Dad used to race chocobos, right?" Denzel, smiling once again, turned to stare at his father, Zack following his example.

"Yes," Cloud confirmed. "Some years ago I had to in order to… get myself out of a bind. Turned out I was pretty good at it." A bit of an understatement, but he'd never been one for self-praise.

"Wow…" Zack sank back against the bed. "You've really done everything…" The last was muttered, the ex-SOLDIER finding more and more out about his old friend that further distanced them. He wasn't exactly down with this "learn something new about Cloud" thing everyday.

"He was really good," Denzel explained, Zack's attention falling back to the boy again. "Tifa says so anyway. She said that all his trophies are kept at the Gold Saucer with Dio." He didn't know Dio, only that he was in charge of the Gold Saucer, but he figured it was a fact worth mentioning.

"Trophies?" Zack questioned.

"Yup!" Denzel looked back to Cloud. "How many did you win Dad?"

"I… don't know," Cloud replied honestly. He hadn't exactly kept track. Chocobo racing had been one of those few things in the last ten years that he'd enjoyed. The chocobos, well, they'd been therapeutic for him. He hadn't kept track of the races. He'd enjoyed the other aspects, whether he'd won or not.

"He won a lot," Denzel decided as he looked again to Zack, who was still somewhat skeptical. "And I'm going to too. Once Zack Jr. is big enough, I'm going to race her. Right?" He snapped back to Cloud.

"Uh, we'll see," Cloud replied, remembering his conversation with Tifa. Racing _was_ dangerous and, well, Denzel was nowhere near being old enough. Besides, by the looks of the kid, he was growing pretty well. He'd probably be too tall to be a chocobo jockey. Cloud had barely been small enough himself.

"I will," Denzel decided firmly, Zack grinning again at the child's blind determination.

"So your parents are really going to let you keep that chocobo?" Zack asked, arms crossing over his chest as he stared down at the baby bird. It had finally calmed down, sitting nicely on the bed as Denzel stroked it's back. "Don't they get, like, huge?"

"It'll go to the Chocobo Farm east of here once it gets too big," Cloud explained, Denzel, who'd apparently known nothing about this, turning to gape at his father, clearly offended and upset. "She can't stay here," Cloud reasoned calmly, velvety voice as smooth as ever. "We have nowhere to keep her. You'll still get to see her once we move her."

"But…" Denzel's eyes fell back to the chocobo. "What if she gets lonely, or…" He was trying to come with an excuse, but his mature mind realized that his father was right. There was no way Zack Jr. would fit in their house or their yard once she got bigger.

"She'll be happy there," Cloud assured. "I know the owners and they'll take care of her. And she'll have lot's of friends, so I'm sure she won't get lonely." Denzel still didn't seem convinced.

"What if they're all mean to her…?" Cloud could only assume he meant the other chocobos. Generally, the large birds were solitary, taking a mate during breeding season before going off on their own again. But they didn't usually mind being with others of their kind, though if hormones were running high, they could break out into fights.

Generally however, the better the pedigree, the more agreeable their temperament.

"They won't be," Cloud assured. "I have a chocobo there and he's nice to all the other ones, so she'll have at least one friend." This grabbed both Denzel and Zack's attention, their eyes snapping to Cloud in alarm.

"You still have a chocobo?!" Denzel squawked. "You never told me that." Well, Cloud hadn't raced in a long time, so he'd never seen a reason to bring it up.

"Yeah Cloud," Zack joined in. "You never told me either." The ex-SOLDIER was smiling, the humor in his tone apparent to the other man in the room.

"What color is it?" Denzel asked quickly. "Did you win any races with it? Can you still race with it?" Had Zack Jr. not been happily perched on the bed, Cloud was sure Denzel would be begging to know more right at his feet.

"Don't worry about it," Cloud replied. To be quite frank, he didn't want to say much about his chocobo with so many potential ears listening in. Again, his gold, award-winning chocobo was the only one of its kind in captivity. If the wrong person knew where he kept it, and how much it was worth, it'd be safe to say he'd be out one chocobo pretty quickly. And since it was too old to race now, it'd be used for breeding only, hidden away, and he'd never find it again.

"But I want to know," Denzel's tone dropped, disappointment falling down on him.

"Yeah Cloud," Zack copied. "We want to know."

"Then you can both wait until we transport Zack Jr.," he replied, his tone only somewhat tighter. Denzel sighed, accepting his father's words, and Zack was able to sense that Cloud, for whatever reason, didn't want to talk about it. He furrowed his eyebrows curiously, but didn't inquire further.

"What are you three fighting about in here?" Tifa interrupted their discussion, a small smile on her face and a prescription bag in her hand. Denzel allowed a small grin to stretch his lips just slightly when his surrogate mother walked in, but still made no attempts to leave Zack Jr.

"Nothing," Zack shrugged. "Just talking about chocobos." Tifa nodded in understanding, not at all surprised. She was sure that Zack Jr. was the topic Denzel would be talking about for the next few weeks. And they'd be in for double the discussion when Marlene found out after she got back from spending time with Barret.

"Well, I don't mean in interrupt," she sounded only half-honest, "but Denzel needs to take his pill," she held out the bag for the boy to see and he frowned. "They're the swallow kind," she continued, "so are you going to want some water?"

Sighing, Denzel nodded, finally reaching up under Zack Jr. and pulling her off the bed. She started flapping her wings again, but was safely on the ground before any damage could be done, warking loudly once more.

"C'mon then," Tifa beckoned him forward. "Let's go find a drinking fountain." Glancing back at Zack, Denzel waved shyly, the ex-SOLDIER waving back, before he joined up with Tifa, his green companion following along behind. Within moments, Cloud and Zack were alone in the room.

"I can't believe you're letting him keep that bird," Zack started after a few seconds. "And that you even like chocobos. You don't seem like the type to care for feathery animals." Or any animals really. Cloud only shrugged in response however, his eyes trained on the window.

The silence stretched for a moment then, Zack eventually huffing in annoyance.

"You agreed yesterday that you'd talk to me, remember?" he explained. "I don't think I can stand the silence of this room for another day." Cloud glanced back at the bed again, his lips tightening. "Though they said I was healing faster than expected and that if everything looks good tomorrow morning, they might release me." His cuts and bruises, thanks to his SOLDIER advantages, had nearly healed already. "Though it'd go much faster if _someone_ hadn't outlawed the use of materia."

Cloud flicked his eyes to the floor.

"I can't stay," he stated, his comment having absolutely nothing to do with anything said previously. Confused as to his meaning, Zack furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm behind on deliveries because of yesterday," he continued. "I have to leave."

"Now?" Zack asked, his eyebrows rising skeptically.

"In a few minutes," he confirmed. "I came for Denzel's appointment, but I can't stay much longer than that." In other words, the conversation he'd promised Zack the night before wouldn't be happening. To most, it probably wouldn't have been a big deal, but to Zack, after everything that had happened recently, it was like a slap in the face.

"So… I guess we won't be talking then," Zack replied, his eyes falling to the sheets. He tried not to sound too bitter or offended, he knew Cloud had to work. But at the same time, he had an inkling that the blonde could stay if he wanted to. He just didn't want to put forth the effort conversing with Zack drained from him.

He wanted to get away.

"I'm sorry," Cloud muttered softly.

"No you're not," Zack replied, his voice coated in defeat. "Don't lie to me Cloud. At least have the decency to tell me you don't want to talk to me. You know I hate it when people lie, especially to my face." He focused on the window, too hurt to look at Cloud. He knew it was just a small thing, just a visit, but it had meant so much more. They'd both known that.

And Cloud's lack of response seemed to reaffirm his words. The blonde didn't want to talk. He wished he could. He wished he could explain to Zack everything that was going through his head, all the confusion, but he didn't know how. His fear was too strong and stifled the words before they had the chance to form in his throat.

What little had been said the night before had been hard enough. He wasn't ready to face anything else.

It was so much easier to run.

"Well, you're going to have to take them for the next three days," Tifa's voice echoed into the room as she, Denzel, and the ever complaining chocobo made their way back into the room. "The taste doesn't matter if it's going to make you better." Denzel was looking exceptionally unhappy as he entered, a rebellious frown plastered to his face.

Tifa, however, didn't fail to notice that as they walked in, they slammed right into a wall of tension. Glancing between Cloud and Zack, who weren't looking anywhere near each other, she pursed her lips. Something had happened in the few moments she'd been gone.

"Hey," Cloud's soft voice drew Tifa and Denzel's attention as he bent down in front of his son. "I have to go now, alright?" If at all possible, Denzel's face dropped further. "I have to go to work." Both of them had heard his conversation with Tseng earlier and had known this was coming. "I should be back the day after tomorrow." That was, if everything went according to plan.

"Okay…" Denzel sighed, having no choice but to accept his father's words. Tifa, her arms crossing under her breasts, tried not to seem entirely disapproving. "You'll teach me more about Zack Jr. when you come back?"

"Sure," Cloud nodded lightly, his hand reaching up to ruffle Denzel's hair. "Be good and take care of her while I'm gone." Denzel nodded again and, father and son staring at each other for a moment longer, Cloud rose to his feet again before heading towards the door. He caught Tifa's eye as he did, but looked away without saying a word.

In the hospital bed, Zack sighed, his head turning towards the door as he stared sadly up from beneath his eyelashes. He watched as Cloud left, his heart continuing to drop the further away the blonde got.

Just when he'd thought they were making progress.

Lips pursing, he glared down at the bed sheets.

**oOo**

He was depressed. That was the only explanation.

Head leaning flat on the table, he stared out the window, his face and eyes empty. He'd never felt this way, so completely and utterly, well, sad. Even when he'd been running from the Shinra army, he'd never felt like this. Scared? Sure. Desperate? Of course. But never this completely and totally miserable. And seeing as there wasn't anything exceptionally horrible going on otherwise, he was actually leading a rather boring existence at the moment, he could only come to one conclusion.

This was Cloud's fault.

His _ex_-friend, a term Zack now used on a personal level when referring to Cloud, was supposed to be home anytime now, and Zack didn't find that he was the least bit excited. It'd been just over two days since Cloud had practically run _away_ from the hospital room, a day since Zack had come home, and though the ex-SOLDIER had missed him, he wasn't looking forward to his homecoming either.

Why? Because he missed the old Cloud, that's why. _His_ Cloud. Not this mean, cold, annoying man that had wedged his way into Cloud's body. This new _stranger_ was the cause of his depression, an affliction Zack didn't in the least appreciate. He liked being happy and optimistic, but it was hard to do when the only person he wanted to be so with him refused to even _talk_ to him.

He wasn't asking that Cloud become a different person entirely. The old Cloud had been quiet, sometimes brooding, and rather shy, but never so… standoffish. He just wanted a chance to get to know Cloud again, old or new. But the fact that this "new" Cloud, as he'd come to call him, wouldn't even give him a chance was extremely aggravating.

He understood his reasons, that he just wasn't ready, that he was scared after everything that had happened. And Zack was very sympathetic in that respect. But such feelings didn't make _him_ feel any better.

Maybe his anger was misdirected. Perhaps he should be placing his blame on all the horrible things that had happened to Cloud rather than the man himself. But it was hard to blame Shinra and Sephiroth when they weren't around anymore.

Zack was just so unhappy. And he hated being unhappy.

"You better not be drooling on my table," Tifa stated as she came in from the bar, a handful of dirty glasses in her arms. Not that Zack could tell. He was facing away from her, cheek squished against the tabletop as he glared out the window. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Being depressed," he replied simply. It wasn't just Cloud that had him upset however. He hated being immobile, unable to help in any way, and his current injury caused just those consequences. He wasn't supposed to be placing any weight on his leg, even if he was healing at exceptional rates. And that meant he was always sitting. Plus, with Tifa around all the time, he couldn't get away with breaking the rules.

"That's a little dramatic," Tifa replied, amused. "I don't think I could put up with two depressed men in this household. Cloud is enough." Not that she really thought Cloud was depressed, just exceptionally quiet. But it played along with the joke well enough. "Oh, I was wondering, are your clothes fitting alright?"

"They're fine," Zack replied, still refusing to raise his head off the table. His SOLDIER uniform had been basically destroyed in the accident, so he'd been out of luck as far as apparel. Tifa had offered to buy him some, but he'd flat out refused. Instead, he'd forced his way into some of Rude's sweats and a t-shirt. The pants were short and the shirt was tight, but it was better than being naked he supposed.

At least, when there were other people around. Zack quite liked being naked, but he'd keep that to himself.

"You're acting like a baby you know," Tifa added, stacking the dirty glasses up by the sink for Zack to wash, since it was one of the few things he could do sitting down and had thus claimed it as his responsibility.

"I know," he replied, fully ready to accept her name-calling. He didn't like his current attitude any better than she did, but he didn't know how to rouse himself out of the funk either.

Oh, wait, he was starting to drool. Better lick that up.

"What happened between you and Cloud anyway?" Tifa asked. She'd been meaning to inquire about it since it happened, but hadn't had the chance. Between Denzel, work, and getting Zack settled in from the hospital, it'd completely slipped her mind.

"Something stupid," Zack started. "He'd said he'd come in and talk to me when I was in the hospital. But then he bailed to go to work and lied to me about being sorry." Slowly, he turned his head so his other cheek was pressed on the table, able to see Tifa now. "I guess I'm just tired of the rejection, that's all."

"I'm sorry honey," Tifa frowned, understanding his feelings completely. There'd been a time when Cloud had acted the same way towards his family, and it hadn't been a pleasant sensation to have him constantly avoiding them. "Just give him time, that's all I can say."

"I don't like time," Zack decided with a pout. Tifa smiled at his statement, amused by his childish response. Not that his dislike didn't hold any merit. It was because of time, ten yeas worth, that he was in his current predicament to begin with.

"Hey!" Glancing up, both Tifa and Zack looked to the door, surprised that it was Tseng who'd burst in on them with such an animated hello. "You'll never guess who I ran into." Zack, now curious, raised his head off the table, mostly because it was he that Tseng was staring at.

"Who?" he asked with furrowed brows.

"Cissnei!" Tseng replied, Zack's eyes widening. Though he couldn't claim an understanding as to why. It was true he'd noticed her absence from the Turks, but it'd never occurred to him to ask what had happened to her. Many of the Turks were missing, only a few of the top-dogs now working for Cloud.

"Where'd she go?" Zack finally decided to ask.

"She quit after you died," Tseng explained, his tone of voice back to its typical seriousness. "Said she couldn't work for a corrupt company anymore and just disappeared." Which was what one had to do when they wanted out of an organization like the Turks. Most who tried to quit openly were… accidentally taken care of.

"And I can't believe you're alive!" Suddenly, the redhead burst through the door. Taking everyone inside the kitchen by surprise. "Sorry Tseng," she glanced up at him quickly. "I couldn't wait outside any longer." Smiling from ear to ear, she whisked her way across the kitchen to Zack, catching him by surprise when she bent down and pulled him into a hug.

Well, even if it was unexpected, a hug was always a good way brighten anyone's day.

"I still can't believe it," she awed as she finally released him, Zack finding that he too was smiling as he stared up at her. "Tseng told me what happened and that you were here. At first I didn't believe him, but…" she took a shaky breath. "I just can't believe you're sitting here in front of me." She blinked a few times, to stop her tears as any good Turk would, and Zack felt his heart tighten. Her obvious show of emotion and affection was touching. "I was there when you… just like Tseng. I just… I can't believe it."

"It is pretty hard to believe," Zack laughed lightly, a bitter jab taken out on his heart when he considered what it would have been like if Cloud had reacted the way Cissnei was upon seeing him again. How much better things would have been. "I'm not sure I buy it myself sometimes," he concluded, being totally honest. It was difficult for him to consider that, for five years, he'd been dead.

"I caught Cissnei on my way back," Tseng had gone to pick up some groceries at Tifa's request. One of the few setbacks of working in the Strife office – running errands for the woman that fed you. "We got to talking and eventually started discussing the last time we'd seen each other when you came up." He nodded to Zack.

"And then Tseng offered me a job," Cissnei announced. Tifa, who had no idea who this woman was, raised her eyebrows skeptically. Last she'd known, Cloud was in charge of the hiring and firing.

"I didn't give her a job," Tseng corrected, catching the look in Tifa's eyes as she crossed her arms under her breasts. "She'd mentioned that she was in town looking for work. I explained that in a few weeks we'd be looking for another addition and that she might be able to apply early if she talked to Cloud. She is qualified after all. An ex-Turk, yes, but possessing all the same training."

"I see," Tifa replied, noting that Cissnei and Zack were completely ignoring the conversation between her and Tseng. They were speaking with each other, Cissnei smiling like a little school girl and Zack, well, he looked much the same.

"I still remember when you took out those Genesis clones with that umbrella," the redhead was saying. "I suppose that's the power of SOLDIER though." Zack laughed, the two sharing in a common memory. Something clicked in Tifa's mind then. Abruptly, she realized that Zack and Cissnei were friends. But it wasn't that fact that took her aback. No, it was the way Cissnei had scooted her chair closer to Zack's, and the way she was pushing back on him playfully.

And how totally and completely excited she'd been to see Zack again. Not shocked, or scared, or perplexed. No, she'd been downright thrilled. As if a long sought after wish of hers had been fulfilled.

Perhaps Zack was friends with the pretty redhead, but it was quite obvious that Cissnei felt a lot more for him. And his coming back was probably spurring her to act in ways she wouldn't have dreamed of before his untimely demise. Years of desperation caused by loss tended to have that effect.

Lips pursing, Tifa wondered if this could get messy, her nerves already grinding with anxiety.

"I know," Zack laughed. "I can't even begin to imagine how stupid I looked. Fighting in my swimsuit with an umbrella," he shook his head as if offended. "I feel like I should have been demoted for lack of… preparation or something."

"Oh come on," Cissnei placed her hand on Zack's good knee, leaning forward slightly. "I, for one, was impressed with your ingenuity. All I thought to do was stand there and watch." She leaned back again, but Tifa felt no better. All she could imagine was Cloud, a frown pulling at her lips.

And when her vision was realized, she felt even worse.

"Who's this?" Cloud had walked in the door.

The room silenced then, everyone turning to focus on him. He was staring at the redhead however, who was sitting far too close to Zack. She was wearing a pair of kaki shorts over black legging, tall brown leather boots coming up to the base of her knees. Her red, spaghetti strap tank-top revealed a great deal of her freckled back, long leather gloves that matched her boots coming nearly up to her shoulders. There were holes for the fingers however, something Cloud took note of as she reached up to push her wavy red hair back behind her ear.

Zack, surprised to see Cloud despite how he'd known he was coming home, found himself blinking at the blonde, dumbfounded without a word to say.

Not that he had to. The conversation was revived without him.

"You must be Cloud," Cissnei was smiling again. "I remember hearing about you from Zack back when we worked at Shinra." She stood to her feet and approached him, hand outstretched for him to shake. "You were a friend of Zack's too, right?"

It had become somewhat taboo that anyone bring up Zack and Cloud's past to the blonde, a discussion that wasn't allowed. So when this strange woman did so without second thought, Cloud wasn't sure how to reply. Instead, still silent, he reached forward and shook her hand. He did have to wonder what she was doing there, in his house, sitting so very close to Zack.

"Tseng said that if I asked you, you might be able to give me a job," she continued. "I used to be a Turk, so I'm more than qualified and I've worked with everyone before, so you don't have to worry about me getting along with anyone." Tifa begged to differ. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you my name. I'm Cissnei."

Tifa saw it then, that flicker of recognition. Perhaps Cloud had never met this woman, but he certainly knew her name. And by the way his lips tightened, he wasn't overjoyed with her presence.

"Really," Cloud flicked his attention to Tseng, who was a stoic as ever. "I'd been under the impression we were going to wait until the Gold Saucer contract was finalized." He spoke slowly, calmly, his query sounding innocent to anyone who didn't know how to read him. Which, at that point, really only consisted of Tifa.

"Oh, Tseng told me about that," Cissnei explained, Cloud glancing back to her. "I'm willing to wait until you're in a position to hire me. I've got a part-time job already, so I should be fine until my work with you begins." She was rather confident in her ability to be hired.

"Don't get ahead of yourself Cissnei," Tseng reprimanded, realizing her certainty just as well as everyone else. "I said that if you talked to him, he might be willing to give you the position. After all," Tseng looked to Cloud, "we really can't afford to interview a ton of people that probably aren't going to be qualified anyway. This would save us a good amount of time. And I can vouch for her as a past reference."

Tifa didn't like where this was going.

"I'm extremely qualified," Cissnei started. "I'm martial arts trained as well as weapons trained. I was certified to fly a helicopter," as all Turks were, "and I've been traveling a lot until now, so I'm very familiar with cross-country trekking. I can drive a car, a bike. I could even go by boat if you wanted me to." She really wanted this job, though her motives were questionable. "And since I worked for the Turks, you know I'll be efficient and organized."

"It'd save us a lot of time searching," Tseng reasoned again.

"And, like I said, I already know everyone, so I'll easily be able to adapt to the working dynamic," she concluded, a sweet smile plastered across her face. Too bad such sugary goodness didn't do a whole lot for Cloud.

Tifa couldn't hide her concerned brow furrow.

Cloud didn't say anything at first, just stared at the woman before him in what most would perceive as thoughtfulness. Yet as his gaze drifted only quickly back to Zack, Tifa knew he was thinking about something else entirely. She wasn't exactly sure what was going through his head, mostly because she didn't know the history there, but she could make an educated guess.

He didn't want to hire her.

But, unfortunately, the logic for such a decision wasn't there. Tseng was right, they'd been lucky to find her. Had they posted the job position publicly, they'd have had to go through resume after resume of unqualified candidates only to find that there were none. The skills that were required couldn't be trained in a few days or even weeks; Cloud couldn't just pick someone because they had a good aptitude for delivering mail.

Yet here was Cissnei, qualified and capable and being handed to him on a silver platter. To reject her would make no sense. And it'd reveal that he had a personal issue with her, which she was probably completely unaware of. And if Cloud hated doing anything, it was revealing how he really felt.

"I suppose I have no choice," he eventually decided, his words chosen carefully. Cissnei smiled wider then, perhaps about to thank him, but before she could, Cloud had started around her. Going to the opposite end of the kitchen, he pushed his way through the other door and disappeared into the hall.

He didn't care that half of the room had stared after him, alarmed by his behavior. Tifa, on the other hand, had sighed, and Zack, eyes deterring to the table, appeared rather uneasy. Yes, the ex-SOLDIER knew something too.

"Did I… say something wrong?" Cissnei asked, glancing around in confusion. She got no reply however, the only two in the room that understood keeping their mouths locked shut.

They didn't dare voice that the silent retreat they'd just witnessed had been something Cloud hadn't exhibited in a very, _very_ long time.

That was, clear and absolute jealousy.

Cloud however, moving swiftly down the hall to his room, knew exactly what the feeling that had welled up inside of him meant. And he had absolutely no idea what to do with or about it.

Closing his door behind him, he leaned back against it, his eyes falling shut. He tried to fight the bubbling emotion boiling inside of him, but the more he rejected it, the stronger it got. As if he knew, subconsciously, that the more he ignored it, the greater the threat became. But he didn't want to remember, to succumb to those old, bitter memories.

Memories of Zack. Memories of him and Zack. Of Zack telling him about his day as they lounged together on the couch; at the kitchen table; in the bedroom.

Remembering that Zack had gone to lunch with Cissnei. That while Cloud had been in mandatory training, Zack had sat outside and spoken with Cissnei. That he'd gone on a mission and worked with Cissnei. That when he was sent on vacation, Cissnei had been there. Cissnei was Zack's friend. Cissnei was a trained fighter; Cissnei could take care of herself. Zack liked going on missions with Cissnei because he didn't have to worry about her.

Cissnei was fun. Cissnei was smart. Cissnei, Cissnei, _Cissnei_!

He'd grown so _tired_ of hearing about Cissnei!

Flicking his eyes back open, Cloud shoved himself away from the door and across the room to his desk. Slamming himself down into his chair, he placed his hand on the tabletop and started thrumming his fingers against the metal.

When he and Zack he been together, ten years ago, Cissnei had always been a sore spot. She'd been Zack's friend before he'd even met Cloud, and when the blonde had been too scared to admit his feelings to his best friend, he's envisioned Cissnei to be his main adversary. There was just something about the way Zack had talked about her, this pretty redhead with the sugary voice.

And even after they'd become an item, he and Zack, Cissnei had forever haunted them with her presence. Cloud had never actually met her, not until that very day when she'd asked him for a job, but he'd known, somehow, that she'd been after Zack. And for an infantryman that was always more liability than help, runt than warrior, shy than outgoing, a woman that was the opposite of all that, that had the ability to fight at Zack's side instead of behind him, well, he hadn't felt he'd been able to compete.

He hadn't been obsessed with her, so paranoid that it had hindered his relationship with Zack, but that wariness had always paced in the back of his mind when she was brought up.

And now she had squeezed her way inside his head once again!

Lips pursing, Cloud took a deep breath in through his nose before leaning his elbows on his desk. Placing his head in his hands, he stared down at the papers below, not really seeing them.

Cissnei was the last stress he'd needed added to his life. And her presence was worse now than it ever had been. Why? Because she could approach Zack in ways that Cloud couldn't. Because she wanted to be with him, that much had been obvious just in how close she'd been sitting beside him in a wide open room. And Cloud… he wasn't ready for that. That was what stressed him, what caused his heart to pound anxiously in his chest.

Cissnei could give Zack the attention he wanted and all Cloud could do was watch. Because he was too _screwed up_ to do anything. He was too afraid. He knew this, knew that there was no way he could force himself into something he simply wasn't ready for. Yet if he didn't do something, he could very well lose any chance he had at all.

Cissnei was here and Cloud couldn't even _talk_ to Zack for longer than a few minutes.

Why was he so terrified? Why couldn't he just… move forward!

But even the thought of it was like trying to push past a concrete wall. He just wasn't mentally prepared to take leaps and bounds in any direction. Everything with Zack had to progress at exceptionally slow rates, and Zack didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to have to wait and suffer.

Cissnei was easier, simpler. She didn't have the baggage Cloud did, or the family, or the regrets. Or the obligations. Cissnei and Zack were both still young, fresh, and Cloud… he'd aged and grown up and left them behind. He was a complicated, torn, ruined, broken person.

And Zack deserved better.

Closing his eyes again, Cloud tried to shake away his thoughts, but he just couldn't. He was already paranoid about Zack to begin with and now… now it was a hundred times worse. What if they got involved with each other? What if they were happy?

What if Zack walked away?

The stress, it dropped down on him like a thousand pounds of lead.

He couldn't lift it, couldn't control it. Like a blanket it suffocated him. He felt himself beginning to break under the force. He'd been doing okay for the last week. Taking things slow, considering everything carefully, pretending it all wasn't a big deal. Trapping his anxiety at a manageable level and retreating when he'd known he couldn't handle it. But this he couldn't escape. He had no control over Zack or Cissnei. And he had no control over himself anymore.

Why?

Because he'd dared to hope. He'd dared entertain the idea that if Zack could just be patient, could just understand that he was too messed up to pick things up where they'd left off, then maybe, if they just waited, they could salvage some of what they'd lost. It'd take a while, but he'd considered that maybe Zack would be okay with that, he'd be understanding of Cloud's plight and insecurities and… _insanity_.

Now _she_ was here and she'd shattered that idea. Suddenly he felt rushed, as if he should take some sort of action, but his fear had paralyzed him. All he could do was watch and keep his mouth shut. He couldn't handle it, what Zack wanted.

But Cissnei could. She was normal, happy, ready to provide. Cloud was none of that. He hated it. He hated himself and he hated that he couldn't just be numb and act like nothing was wrong. He hated the jealousy that had spurred this feeling, and he hated that he couldn't just let Zack go. He wanted him and he pushed him away. He longed to see him and begged to leave when he did.

So torn. So confused.

So _broken_.

And Cissnei had been the last straw in what had once been his controlled, level world. After everything that had happened, the war, death, all of it, he'd found peace. But now all of that had gone out the window and it just kept getting worse and worse. Yet he couldn't fight this like he had Sephiroth, he couldn't just press forward and do what needed to be done.

He had never feared his enemies; he'd understood their intentions, their tolerance. But Zack… Zack wore his heart on his sleeve yet was unreadable.

And Cloud didn't know what to do.

Blinking away his helplessness wasn't working. A single tear welled up and fell down his cheek, sparkling against the afternoon light. Not that he could see it, but that didn't mean others couldn't.

Zack, who'd been concerned after Cloud had left the kitchen, had excused himself before hobbling after the blonde. He'd hesitated outside the bedroom door, unsure whether he should knock, or ask for permission. He'd decided to push the door open slightly, to peek inside.

Cloud had been sitting at his desk, angled away from Zack, but not hidden from view. He'd said the blonde's name, but hadn't been heard. And as he'd entered fully, he'd spotted that single tear, the light catching it as he stared.

Zack gaped, his own heart tightening to the point of pain. Cloud's face was empty, blank, defeated, and that single tear spoke more volumes than any expression ever could have. In it Zack saw Cloud's fear, desperation, and sadness. Grief, guilt, and heartache. Cloud didn't know how to express what he wanted, he was too afraid and confused, but that sparkling droplet was a slight loosen of his control. It revealed everything and Zack, who'd been frustrated earlier that day, felt his own guilt over being so.

Cloud was trying so hard. Just because it didn't always show didn't mean it wasn't true. And the blonde was equally frustrated, but he couldn't do any more than he was.

He was _trying_.

"Cloud…" Zack said his name again, his voice still soft. Slowly, having heard him this time, the blonde sat up in his seat and turned to face the ex-SOLDIER. Nothing about him changed however. He wasn't shocked or offended to see him there. He didn't jump to his feet or wipe his hand across his face. No, he just stared, and those blue eyes were so deep, and so pained, that Zack felt his own chest tremble.

Yet Cloud looked away a few moments later, something else erupting from his gaze as he glanced to the window. Shame. And embarrassment.

"Cloud," Zack took a step closer to him, hand outstretched. "Don't…" Don't what? Don't look so sad? Don't be so guilty? Don't be the result of everything that had happened to him? That'd be asking the impossible.

"I'm sorry," Cloud murmured then, his velvety voice barely audible. "I'm sorry I'm so… messed up." He didn't know any other way to put it. That was all he could get out, could express at that moment. It was all his paralyzing fear would allow.

"You're not…" Zack's arm fell limply back to his side and he sighed. "You're not messed up Cloud," he assured. "It's the world that's messed up. Not you." Cloud's eyes twitched to the ground then and, much to Zack's breaking heart, a few more tears streaked down his cheeks.

"You deserve better than me," Cloud admitted. "I can't… I can't give you what you want." Not anymore. It was all just too hard and he wasn't strong enough.

"Maybe you can't," Zack started, "but there's no one better than you." Zack cracked a bitter smile. "We've been over this before you know. I'll never want anyone other than you. Not Aerith, not Cissnei. No one. You're everything I want, even if you are a little harder to get to nowadays."

"Is it worth it?" The suffering, and hurt. Because Cloud knew he was going to hurt Zack, and he was going to hurt himself. If they wanted to work at getting any of what they'd had back, then the road forward was going to be treacherous.

"Of course," Zack replied easily. "You're worth everything, just like you always have been. You're beautiful Cloud, even when the world is ugly. At least, to me you are. That hasn't changed and it never will."

A few more tears then.

Hesitating for only a moment, Zack took a few more steps forward until he'd reached Cloud's bed. Sitting down on the edge of it, he never took his eyes from the blonde. There was a tug on his hand, he wanted to reach out and comfort him, but dared not touch him.

Instead, he forced himself to stay still, to simply sit.

They sat together, alone in that room, and that was okay. If this was the path that led to happiness, if it was what would get Cloud better, then Zack would sit on that bed and stare at the blonde for eternity.

For now, it was enough.

**oOo**

"Leaving then?" The question wasn't so much cast out of curiosity as it was a simple observation.

"Of course," was the easy response. "I have duties to attend to now, no thanks to you."

"You? Duties?" Laughter. "What good could you possibly do? You've said it before. You believe yourself a monster."

A pause.

"Yes, you're right," an accepted confirmation. "I am a monster. But so are you. And you threaten this planet with your insanity. Monster or not, I am honor bound to stop you."

"Honor?" More laughter. "What could a monster want with honor? Certainly such creatures are not privy to that luxury. After all, honor is a human trait, yet you refuse to see yourself as such."

"Whether you are correct or not changes nothing. I am a monster, but I have been asked to use my cursed strength to fight you. If I can atone for anything that I am, then I will take any available chance to do so."

"Atone?" A mocking scoff. "How can you possibly atone for what you are? If you truly view yourself a monster, then there is no compensation for that unfortunate fate. However, I don't agree with your analysis, so as far as I'm concerned, the entire idea is neither here nor there."

"What do you mean?"

"… The three of us are the same. Together, we are not monsters, but the summoners of Mother's bidding. You fight against her influence and claim it creates in you a monster, but your responsibility is to her. You are misguided. Both you and your brother."

"The creature you claim to be your mother is nothing more than an invader. Her cells were used for science, an unfortunate consequence. You view yourself a god, destined to follow in JENOVA's footsteps, but it is you who are wrong. Like me, you are a monster, only you're too foolish to see reality. Our creation was not destiny, but an abomination."

"Our creation was the will of Mother. It is your denial of this simple fact that leaves you blind. Tell me, would you not be happier simply accepting who you are? Together, the three of us could be all we were meant to be, not simple humans, cursed. With your help, we might even be able to influence our younger brothers to our side.

"All Mother wants is for us to be together, to be happy as we are and do as we're meant to do."

"I will not fall to your influence, and neither will my brother. Try as you might to convince us of your insanity, but it won't work. I have been asked to stand up against you, so I will."

"By the planet? But does the planet not want you to use the strength you got from Mother?"

"My strength is created by both the mako and JENOVA cells, and so I am entitled to choose my loyalties. I will not allow your warped definition of my purpose to become reality. It's sad really…" A pause. "I wonder sometimes, if we'd been there for you, if you could have overcome this insanity."

"It is not I that is insane. Are you not fighting for a planet that poisons itself? Are you not attempting to save a civilization that is doomed because of its own destructive tendencies? A futile endeavor, if I ever heard of one. Humans are destined to destroy themselves, so why fight the inevitable?"

"Humans can learn from their mistakes. That will not be an excuse to allow your reunion. I will stop it. _We_ will stop it."

"Then you will all be destroyed and your strength will fall to me when I take over this planet."

"Then at least I will fall knowing I was fighting for what was right."

"A matter of perspective." The laughter began again. "Farewell then, old friend. Until we meet again."

"Yes, until we meet again."

Silence.

* * *

**A/N:** Aw snap, who were those voices at the end. Hmm, honor and evil? I wonder, I wonder… only not really, lol. I feel bad introducing Cissnei this way. I actually like her, think she'd pretty cute and one of the less annoying upbeat characters, but I suppose I'll just have to hash out her character as NOT the evil woman trying to steal Zack away, even if she is, but she's not evil. One of the guys at the end is evil, but she's not, lol.

A bit of a Cloud/Zack moment there at the end. Cloud finally breaking through and feeling something from his past. Hopefully that little breakdown will open new doors for him. I know we're going on four really long chapters now and they haven't even touched each other, lol, but things will get more interesting from here, I promise. Though most people seem to like the slow progression.

Yes, this story does have plot that will slowly inch its way into the story. And it's awesome, so stick around, lol. I write good plot!

Um, yeah, that's all I really have to say about the chapter.

Please leave reviews. Generally, the more reviews I get, the more motivated I am to finish the next chapter. I mean, when I was writing my LOK fic, I was updating every day people were begging me so hard, lol. I guess, in my defense, it's just amazing to me how a story can touch people and it really motivates me to write. So if you want more, then please leave your thoughts. I value what readers have to say over anything else. I learn so much from all of you.

Trust me. My first ever fanfic was for FFX and it was just… so bad. But it was all of you that taught me to get better, and now I'm a novelist about to finish the fourth installation to my self-published series.

So, rant over, lol. PEASE REVIEW!

**R&R** AND I LOVE YOU ALL!

WRITING IS LIFE! BLAARRRGGGHHHH


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